Spell Stressed Backwards and You Get . . . ?
@gtargirl (5376)
United States
July 11, 2009 6:02pm CST
And here's a recipe for all those stressful days from E-cookbooks: http://www.e-cookbooks.net/humor.htm#DIET
DIET FOR STRESS: This diet is designed to help you cope with the
stress that builds up during the day.
Breakfast:
1/2 grapefruit
1 slice whole wheat toast
8 oz. skim milk
Lunch:
4 oz. lean broiled chicken breast
1 cup steamed spinach
1 cup herb tea
1 Oreo cookie
Mid-Afternoon snack:
The rest of Oreos in the package
2 pints Rocky Road ice cream, nuts, cherries and whipped cream
1 jar hot fudge sauce
Dinner:
2 loaves garlic bread
4 cans or 1 large pitcher Coke
1 large sausage, mushroom, and cheese pizza
3 Snickers bars
Late Evening Snack:
Entire frozen Sara Lee cheesecake (eaten directly from freezer)
Additional Rules for this Diet:
1. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.
2. When you eat with someone else, calories don't count if you do
not eat more than they do.
3. Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER count, such as hot chocolate,
brandy, toast and Sara Lee Cheesecake.
4. If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.
5. Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you
are in the process of preparing something.
6. Anything consumed while standing has no calories. This is due
to gravity and the density of the caloric mass.
7. Anything consumed from someone else's plate has no calories
since the calories rightfully belong to the other person and
will cling to his/her plate.
REMEMBER: STRESSED SPELLED BACKWARDS IS DESSERTS.
OH, it's just for fun. Have you heard or read or made up any good cooking or eating jokes? 
5 people like this
6 responses
@byfaithonly (10698)
• United States
12 Jul 09
Didn't actually make it up, just added to it but my favorite is 'Chocolate is a Vegetable' - coco comes from beans, beans grow on plants, so chocolate must be a veggie :)
Added Chocolate Covered Cherries are a balance diet: veggies, fruit, dairy part at least :)
@mtdewgurl74 (18151)
• United States
12 Jul 09
Yeah, I have read them but don't recall them exactly now. Thanks for the link..I haven't laughed that hard in awhile..I got into a fit of giggles with some of those..especially this one..
Early one morning the Mole family awoke and Daddy mole climbed to the
top of the mole hole and sniffed the air.
"I smell bacon frying." he said.
Momma mole crowded in beside him and sniffed the air,
"I smell eggs cooking." she said.
Baby mole tried and tried to get to the top but there was no room left
so he said, "All I can smell is molasses!"
Again thanks for the link I really enjoyed reading them.
2 people like this
@GardenGerty (159869)
• United States
11 Jul 09
I am familiar with this one. I also need to add one more rule, not sure from where. Broken cookies have no calories. When you break them the calories all spill out. So are you including this in your cook book? Will you have a chapter of cooking humor?
2 people like this
I wish I was clever or witty enough to come up with my own funnies.
@danishcanadian (28953)
• Canada
13 Aug 09
That's too funny. I love this page!! I amgoing to have to take some time to look through it, and read some of the funny stuff on it. I did stop and read the "you know you've had too much coffee when" piece. That fits me to a tea (or should I say it fits me to a coffee? LOL) What a fun page. thanks for sharing it.
1 person likes this
@sophie_dfuss (2365)
• Philippines
12 Jul 09
I find this funny and entertaining. I think I agree with you. When I am stressed, usually I crave for something sweet like chocolates or cakes. I also wrote a discussion 3 days ago about the meaning of food cravings: http://www.mylot.com/w/discussions/2064356.aspx
2 people like this
@maygodblessu44 (7336)
• India
4 Aug 09
Hello my friend gtargirl Ji,
I like all suggestion by you except that we do not take onion and garlic. Is tehre any substitute for them. But I would follow following tips . Why to have stress at all .
[b]"Studies show that calorie restriction can be good for your longevity. Additionally, for those trying to lose weight (or stay the size they are), calorie restriction has been shown to be more effective in weight loss than exercise, though both are important. And because a balanced diet rich in certain nutrients can work to prevent many major illnesses, healthy eating may be the next major focus in health care.
But knowing the importance of maintaining a healthy diet is just part of the equation. Despite best intentions, many people find themselves falling short of their diet ideals due to various diet traps, or factors that may sneak in and sabotage a healthy diet. The following diet tips can help you to combat some of the main diet traps people encounter (most of which are stress related) and maintain a healthy diet that keeps you feeling great."[/b]
May god bless You and have a great time. 
