Need help!!

Aww, that's rough! How about if you stick to your plans, and since it's a surprise party, send your Dad a birthday card explaining that you hope his party is happy and you sincerely regret you could not afford to be there for it. Although...on the back of the envelope, you put: do NOT open until 8PM (or whatever time you know will be about a half hours worth into the party....just long enough that the rest of the family will still think you're going to show up.) Maybe a neutral relative could hand deliver the special card at the party, so m-i-l is none the wiser? That way you won't blow the surprise, and you'll have witnesses that he heard it exactly the way you want him to hear it. You could also call to wish him a happy birthday just after you're fairly sure he's opened the card. Any loving father would understand, I'm sure. You shouldn't have to feel you MUST choose. You and YOUR family deserve a vacation, especially since it's been planned way ahead of time. (If your parents know you've already planned on the trip, then that's half the battle.) Up until that time, I'd be telling my dad how excited your hubby is for the trip....like it's a second honeymoon, and that your accomodations are already booked and paid for. That way he KNOWS that you're obligated to your plans and cannot change them without losing money on it. I'd also tell the Dad, in an off-hand way, that money's tight, and that this vacation has been a long time waited for. In my opinion, it's rude to book a dinner at someplace where it's not affordable for everyone in the family.

Wow first off your step mother should not expect to invite people out to something that expensive with out helping to cover the costs. Now we have family like this and a couple of years ago what we did was call the couple the "party" was for (50 Wed. Ann) and explained that the cruise that was planned for the 4 day "party" was way out of our league. We took them out to a nice park and did a little Bar b Q and had a nice time just our family and them. They not only understood but loved the intimacy of it. This may be a good option for you as it will not cost $80 to have a nice picnic and you should be able to do your trip too with out having a major fall out with hubby or Daddy. I hope this helps.

I guess I would put off the vacation, maybe plan a couple special nights at home then start saving more. In time have enough saved where nothing can stop it.

For me vacations are part of health. And part of mental health too. So, if I were you, call your stepmother that you can´t spend that amount of money (can´t she make the party at a more unexpensive place? or help you out with the restaurant mone?). Yo u will never get to be wed as long as your father if you keep posponing your needs. Take care

For some reason year seven in a relationship is always a hard one. When you married you left your parents and became a family. I know parents are still important, but your relationship is also important. Put the relationship first. I would plan something special with the parents at a later time. With the world economy the way it is you may not gget another chance at a vacation for several more years, things are going to get worse before they get better. As long as you can make you spouse and your parents feel special then that will work out. As you booked the trip you may not can get out of it and get your money back, so take the vacation. I realize that your step mother wants somethng nice for your father, but as a father he should want your happiness to come first and would probably be very upset if he knew that this was causing problems in you relationship. He would probably be the first to say do not come to this if it is causing problems. Step parents may be hard to deal with but your parent will understand that you want to be able to spend a special time with them but it may not work out at this time, he will know that is does not mean you do not love him. So call him that evening and let him know you care. I agree that education may be the answer in your case in the long run. Go back to school and put yourself in a better situation in the future.

Dear jewel76, Indeed you have landed yourself in a fix. And as some kind of a trouble shooter my own respect is at stake, even though it is only unto me, your problem that is. Let me See if I could be of some help. Dad's B'day is important. Your vacation is as important, especially as you have not been allowed to have one owing to your financial problems. First of all, I do not know how much difficult will it be for you personally to bear the pain of your tender tendon, if not set right till the end of your vacation, and even some time later till you are able to generate that kind of funds for the treatment. And I also do not know as to how much your vacation is going to cost you, inclusive of cost of gas for your car. If the maths of your budget and some alternative (temporary) treatment of your tendon can figure out expenses for your Dad's B'day, then I could state that:- 1. Please get the car done up. 2. Join your Dad in his party. 3. Take some alternative treatment of your tendon since it costs the most of all other expenses, and of course bear your pain a little. Imagine you shall be giving some amount of happiness to your Husband, your Mother, your old Dad, and most of all Your own self by seeing all others that much happier. As for the future, please try to get yourselves jobs (though I am not privy to your expertise, capabilities, educational qualifications etc) which may be better paying. Or upgrade your qualifications since you people are still young. It may secure your future and that of your off-springs. Hope my suggestions suit you. May Gods they do.

It is something called life. If you can do, take some little loan to manage all the things. when you are back from vacation, try to repay that thing. If you can manage, without loan its well and good.

Dear friend , i can understand your feeling. when u live together u need some relaxation in some span of time because our daily routine makes your life bore. so after every 6 months u need a vacation.but u are telling u haven,t been to vacation for such a long time. And if u have planned it so weel , u don,thave to postpond it. u can postpone certain another things till u get financial help. If also nothing happens u trust on god. he will make everthing very right on the last moment.