Have to be selfish... its the lesson I have learnt from life.

I think selfishness is always looked upon as a very bad thing when it isn't always. A little selfishness can be healthy. My mom gives everything she has to her friends--which is a beautiful thing, don't get me wrong--but it's my dad's money and my dad's things which he has worked thirty years to achieve, and they are now not doing so well financially because she simply cannot say no to others. It is straining their marriage and their finances. By not having any selfishness when it comes to her friends, she is hurting the person she should think of first. I agree with you about the guy you're having trouble with. It's like lending people money. They never appreciate it if they don't pay you back, and you're not helping them in the long run because they are becoming dependent on you. I'll do nice things for people--but if they don't pay me back or don't show appreciation, I won't do it again until they do. But please don't take the lesson he's teached you and force it on other people you are able to help. There are many people in this world who need help--even just need a friend--and will be there for you in thanks until the day you die. Like I said, selfishness isn't as bad as many people think it is...but you will get many more rewards when you show kindness to the right people. :)

Hi subha, Relax. Just feel happy that you are not like those selfish monkeys. You never expect anything in return. If possible next time if he has been struck by a speeding truck just say hello and push off. Ganhigiri dos not work here.

This is sad and disheartening. How can people be so selfish! I can understand the pain you are going through dear. Think it this way. The world's WORST driver refused to give you a lift for he wasn't sure of his expertise. Hugs dear.

Hi Subha! Your friend's attitude was uncalled for and he should have helped you in your hour of crisis and need. By not helping you or by not offering you lift in his vehicle, he has lost your trust and next time he will be deprived of any assistance, which you might have offered to him, had he given you helping hand in your hour of need. Please do not feel disappointed, in this manner and these kind of incidents give us a lesson in our life and now you can evaluate who is true friend.

You was nice and offered him a ride when you was taking your car. That does not mean that the same person would do for you, I know it doesn't seem right but your giving him a lift was a nice thing to do and we do nice things for others and really should not expect any thing in return. I don't understand when you say he rides his bike, how could he give you a lift on a bike. If this is so much of a problem why don't you take your car every day, seems to me that would solve the problem.

Selfishness will not do us good. It will make our lives miserable in some ways since you will sometimes feel the guilt of not having someone in need.

I do agree there are some people who take help from us and never return it back when they can. There are lots of people who use us, but the truth is that there are also lots of good people. We have to find the people who are not selfish and selfish and try to help them according to it. It takes some experience to understand the nature of the people. Like said all that glitters are not gold and same way people who speaks in sweet tone may not be good people. I think you had one bad experience from one of your friend.

Perhaps it is inconvenient for him to give you a lift? Give him the benefit of doubt. One will be happier if one can help another especially if one gives from the bottom of one's heart. The act of giving is always more noble than the token received. This is because giving without any expectation is truly a gift. You will be rewarded for the many help you have given.

you know what? sometimes i feel like that too. other times, life shows me something different. someone comes into my life that rescues me when i am in a crunch. then i end up changing my mind. for instance, once someone was behind me in walmart. they only had to pay for a bottle of water. i was short like $20 worth of stuff. i was just going to start putting some stuff back, then all of a sudden he told the clerk that he would just get ALL of my stuff! my stuff was like $80. the stuff i am referring to is my kid's birthday presents. people like that really change my mind. they inspire me not to let my annoyance at stupid people stop me from being the kind of cool person that guy was, in back of me at walmart. there are always going to be people to ruin your inner vibe. they are here on planet earth with us. don't close off just yet, though. not everyone is like the person you are talking about.

I know what happened with you was in no way good. But I do believe in 'karma', maybe you got this sort of treatment because of your past karma. But I am sure that good deed which you have done will catch upon you. I do believe that good karma will catch up on you.

you are really correct...we should be very selfish to the person who are selfish..but we should not be selfish to the people who really helps us in critical situation..in ur case ur colleague is some what affected by some thing, so he was very selfish..so u gotta be very selfish to him..u should not recognize him in any ways in future..u should avoid him and u should make him to feel that he have sinned and he should apologize... i agree that i am very selfish..i do things of my own and i dont help people unless they approach me... for short i can tell that my character is extremely like Prince Vegeta of dragon ball z...i say i am not selfish but i dont mind others work unless its a matter of business for me.. happy to respond.. happy mylotting..

Well to think that you will be selfish is because you felt bitter on what others have shown you right? Just to think that they are not grateful of what you have done to them for the past should not make you like them too. God sees what we do to others. He will be the rewarder of us all. If we will do the same thing like they do to us, what will be the difference? how will you be a better example? Always be of ready to help, be cheerful and always grateful of circumstances that comes your way. That will determine your character. What you sow is what you will reap. If you sow goodness and mercy and always thankful, you will get the same thing. If not, just continue to be good, you will never regret it.

I admit that I am a little selfish.I believe that in this world,no one can take care of you the best but yourself.I always look out and buy the best things for myself.if I don't,who will?with your colleague,I think he is a fair-weathered friend.he just befriends someone when he needs something from that person.just ignore him,you don't people like that.

I do understand your feeling my friend,but, doing good without expecting in return is better.God will repay you for all your good deeds and it is much better to do good things to others rather than other people keep doing good things on us.See,the guy u helped had just a bike while u had ur car,means,u had a better life than him,so,be thankful for all your good deeds.

I can understand your feelings. Normally, when we tend to do something we naturally get hurt when there is no feeling of reciprocity in the other person. So, there are only two options possible- -1]not to do anything at all 2] to just give unconditionally without expecting any reciprocity at any time from anyone else. If we need our peace we have to convince ourselves that we are doing it for our own sake and humanitarian considerations and not for anything else.

I have been through alot of things like that in my years also and it gets very tiresome. I have started to think more about me also over the years because no one seems to care most of the time like I do for them.

you can be selfish, but not always... no matter you did help ur friend, but we cant expect the same kinda gratitude which we offer to every one... just leave it and avoid ppl who are selfish... you can be the same person as u were... cheers

Well, it's not fair and it's not nice that your co-worker did not reciprocate and give you a ride when your usual means of transportation wasn't available. But, when you were giving him the rides, you didn't do it thinking that one day he might return the favor, right? You were doing it to be nice, to help him out. That's a good thing. The one thing you have to keep in mind is that, not everyone is nice. Not everyone thinks about other people. Did he know that you needed a lift? Next time, you should ask for a ride. If he flat out refuses or tries to avoid it, then you know, not to help him again.

oh, it is the many post, but you have gotten some star, what is this? have you giv e some suitable explain?you should get such high star of own, but you have not, what is this,and why is this happened? not be serious to such this tings, you have a big place of your mind, if you have a such car, if the people have truely such prolems and such very the fast thing to do, i think you should help the other in the special case. the people of self is very natural to all of us. i think that the people can do as possible as they can do such good things, even you can not get the good result, but you think that you are good at the other people, and you do not have such desire to pay off your helps, i think that this mind is very high attitude on the living. you are happy and joyful of you, your ability is to able give the other people help. this fact can describle your ability.

Hi, Although you have your own reasons for being selfish, actually it is not a good habit. But now a days people have become very narrow minded and think only about themselves, they are not bothered whatever happens to anyone even their own blood relations. But, remember these habits are generally inborn and not developed automatically,as you said that you gave him a lift previously, this shows you are concerned, sometimes you may forget the whole incident of how he let you down at the time of help and go forward the next time to help him, he surely then will realize how selfish he has been by not helping you the other day and feel guilty and shame then.