Disapproving Mother

United States
July 13, 2009 6:34pm CST
So to get the full detail on my discussion, I am a lesbian and have been with my partner for four years. When we got together she already had 2 children, a daughter that was 2 and a son that was 4 months. Now the kids are 6 and 4, and I love them with all my heart and consider them to be my children as well. Her family is very accepting of us and so is my father, my mother and my sister are the two that don't really accept it at all. My mother and I have not always had the greatest of relationships. After 4 years she still has not met my partner and has no interest in ever meeting her, but she has met the kids and has been around them for the four years. She is not accepting that I am gay and just wishes that I would meet a nice man, get married, and have kids that way. She doesn't want me to come to her house unless I am by myself. I am pretty certain that if I were straight and were with a guy that had kids she would have no problem with it considering she accepts my sister's fiance with arms wide open. I hate that because of how she feels I don't go over there, which means I don't get to spend much time with my dad, with whom I have a wonderful relationship. I just don't know what to do about it anymore because no matter what I say to her it ends up in a huge argument and us not speaking for months at a time. I would hate to cut her out of my life for the simple fact that it would cut my father out of my life as well.
2 people like this
2 responses
• Philippines
14 Jul 09
Gosh! This is a tough situation. I know it's so easy to say, "then go ahead and change and find a good guy to marry", doing it is really difficult. But I guess your Mom just cannot accept that you are going against the norms. Every parent wants the best for their children. Of course your Mom just wants you to live a normal life, to have a normal family, she doesn't mean bad at all. But of course, there's the matter of acceptance. You might as well accept the fact that your Mom cannot accept you or you may give her more time to change her mind. Just think that her disapproval is one of the consequences of living a "different" life. You chose to be happy with another woman, now your relationship with your Mom suffers. You might change your mind and choose to be happy with your Mom and let your lovelife suffer. Sigh... we just can't have everything in this world can't we? I hope your Mom will come to accept you soon... Good luck..
@tdemex (3540)
• United States
14 Jul 09
Sounds like you have a real problem, I'm older but more liberal. It's hard for us old folks to change, whats worse is I've noticed most of my friends got worse with age! Most people say you mellow as you grow older but i don't think that's true. Have you had any real heart to heart talks with her? Can you go thru your father and have him mediate a solution? One suggestion I have is to print this discussion and show it to her! Good Luck! tdemex