How many times will you forgive him /her?

By Jane
@jaiho2009 (39141)
Philippines
July 14, 2009 4:56pm CST
Every couple dream of a perfect married life,and no one ever dream of becoming a broken family either. What if you partner cheated you on your first year of marriage,and since you loved her/him so much and promised not to do it again,you accepted his/her becoz u really love him/her that much. But then again same fate happen after a year,and again,you had forgiven him/her becoz you love him/her and u don't want to have a broken family. On the third time you found out that he/she cheated you again. will you still forgive him/her becoz u still love him/her and for the sake of your children not to have a broken family? Is there still great love that can endure such humilations to give one more chance?
1 person likes this
8 responses
agrant24
@agrant24 (38)
• Jamaica
15 Jul 09
If he has cheated for the first second and third I would forgive him but if he is constantly doing so I would conclude that he his addicted and would sought some councilling or help for him and if he is still doing so after the councilling, well he has blew it. I would leave him. TUFF LUCK
Archie0
@Archie0 (5652)
•
15 Jul 09
If he cheated ONCE that you found out about, how many times has he cheated that you DON'T know about. Kick the bum to the curb and get a REAL man!
Jane
@jaiho2009 (39141)
• Philippines
16 Jul 09
That's the real score my friend,if how many times did he ever cheated me,i may have come to know one or two times,but i am not sure how many times he really did.And yes,i had him kicked out from my life. thanks for your responce dear =)
Jane
@jaiho2009 (39141)
• Philippines
15 Jul 09
Yah,i did ask him to go for counselling but he refuses and even told me,why the need of it.That he don't need anybody's advices,and keep saying he never intended to do and hurt me...i don't believed him anymore. Thanks for your responce my friend =)
mobhomeir
@mobhomeir (7558)
• Philippines
15 Jul 09
They said that love is patient, love is sacrifice but there would be an ending on these. The question is when will you stop this? Are you ready to stop this?Can you take the risk? If you can absorb all of these and ready to face all the consequences then I think you've given already too much consideration to your partner. I think this is the time cut all the chances you've given to your partner...Good luck
mobhomeir
@mobhomeir (7558)
• Philippines
17 Jul 09
thanks for recognizing my response as your best response, that adds my confident to reply and participate always...I appreciate it much
Jane
@jaiho2009 (39141)
• Philippines
17 Jul 09
Becoz u hit some point blank .... hits me bullseye my friend "when to stop" ugh!!!! I should have stop from the first time he did ..but it's fine,and i am thankful that it is really over . Thanks again my friend =)
Jane
@jaiho2009 (39141)
• Philippines
15 Jul 09
The very same question i asked for myself "when to stop giving him a chance and forgiving him "? The right time has yet to come,and make the right decission. Thanks for your responce =)
1 person likes this
ravinskye
@ravinskye (8237)
• United States
15 Jul 09
Second time? Third time? I'm sorry but my partner gets one chance. If he cheats on me one time then he is out the door. There is an old saying.."fool me once, shame on you. fool me twice, shame on me." There is no reason for cheating. If he is unhappy enough to want to be with someone else then he is free to leave. I would rather my children have to work through a divorce then learn that it is okay to disrespect your partner by cheating on them and lying to them.
Jane
@jaiho2009 (39141)
• Philippines
15 Jul 09
Yah,if he is happy enough to be with someone else he should have said it,and never ask for another chance. Thanks for your responce =)
mermaidivy
@mermaidivy (15395)
• United States
15 Jul 09
If you ask me, I really don't know how to answer, I have thought about it before because I was worrying if he cheated on me before... and I found out it was not, well, he told me he did not... I have asked myself, and I could find out an answer, I guess is because I relaly love him and I don't even want to nkwo something like that would ever hppen in our relationship...
Jane
@jaiho2009 (39141)
• Philippines
16 Jul 09
Hello there Mermaidivy,you are so lucky to have your partner,and he is more lucky to have u then.And i wish u all the luck in your relationship. Thanks for your responce dear =)
jgbe4245
@jgbe4245 (56)
• United States
15 Jul 09
I have heard several people say that never is when you give up on a marriage. I honestly think that if my husband were to sleep with another woman it would be over with. I would leave him on the spot. My mother use to say that once a cheater always a cheater. If they believe that they can get away with it or you will stay through it then they will do it again. I have not been put in the situation fully but when my husband and I were dating we had a few problems and we broke up. We started seeing other people and he told me in great detail about her. Come to find out they didn't go very far and he told me most of it to make me jealous. It worked and I am crazy enough that I called her and now they don't talk... I can't see him actually being with someone else but he knows that I would probably cut it off if he did.....
Jane
@jaiho2009 (39141)
• Philippines
15 Jul 09
You are so lucky to have a faithful husband my friend.It is really so hard to end up with a failed relationship,but sometimes we can never control everything in our own hands. Thanks for your reply =)
Jane
@jaiho2009 (39141)
• Philippines
15 Jul 09
What is so painful my dear is,i never been into any relationship.So i never knew how to compare one relationship to another.And thu this is really sad,yah,now i am learning and wish to learn more,so,if given another chance to meet someone,i know how to handle things. Thanks again my friend =)
jgbe4245
@jgbe4245 (56)
• United States
15 Jul 09
I went through several failed relationships to find the right one. Don't think of them as "failed" think of them as learning experiences and what to watch out for next. If they are cheating on you, it isn't your fault no matter what they put in your head it isn't. I have heard all of the lines if you would have been better or if you would have done more I wouldn't have had to go else where. Bull... If you were a better person you wouldn't have done it in the first place. I think that if you are unhappy in your relationship and have to seek outside of it for happiness then you need to leave the one you are with before and find someone else. That way both people get to have a chance at forever with someone else.
xichen7
@xichen7 (153)
• Philippines
16 Jul 09
People who fall in love always lose themself, that's why they can forgive somebody who cheat them. Actually I think a couple should be honest to each other. When they married that means they are ready never cheat each other. They have no reason to ask a chance for forgive.
Jane
@jaiho2009 (39141)
• Philippines
16 Jul 09
That's what i thought and believed in too my friend.Once a couple got married they should love each other and be honest,then cheating has no way to come in between.But things doesn't goes as what i thought it is. I had given hime a chance since just like what u've said,people who fall in love always lose themselves.I love him that much that is why i forgot about myself. But,now i found myself again,and i still had forgiven him after saying goodbye to our relationship. Thanks for your responce =)
pixeltwistr
@pixeltwistr (613)
• United States
15 Jul 09
No I wouldnt forgive it a second time let alone a third... I might forgive onece because people are human and make mistakes and all that but twice...no way
Jane
@jaiho2009 (39141)
• Philippines
15 Jul 09
I wish i hadn't given him a second chance,if only i have known he will do it again the third time.But this is what the story goes. Thanks for your responce =)
Jared D.
@loki1982 (780)
• Dallas, Texas
14 Jul 09
Once a cheater,always a cheater. People dont just cheat. They cheat when they are unhappy. There is something missing in the relationship they strive for. So to get whatever it is they strive for, they cheat. I believe once a perosn cheats, the relationship will never be the same. Their will always be rsentment and trust issues. My first real true girlfriend cheated on me, and luckily we were not together that long.
Jane
@jaiho2009 (39141)
• Philippines
15 Jul 09
People cheat when they are unhappy,do u think after a year of marriage he is unhappy my friend?Then why he need to ask for forgiveness and for another chance? i better agree with what u say that once a cheater will always be a cheater. Thanks for your responce =)