What to do when with a friend that acts rude while joking at the same time?
By ShellyB
@ShellyB (5241)
United States
July 15, 2009 12:05pm CST
OK, I have this friend that has called from time to time to search things for her because I go in the internet, that's the way she puts it.
Yes, she can afford the computer and the net, she decided not to, while she calls once in a while, it was a little annoying last night, I am trying to be a morning because let's face it no one looks for a job at night, and I have things to do that have to be done in the morning or at a specific hour.
When she calls she is talking to her kids while I need her to answer questions, she is doing errands and joking with me at the same time.
Then she tells me I need to go out, I will call you when I get back home to see what you got, she calls but she is still running errands, then she tells me at least to get this other info (that's the least I can do I guess) and she will call me when she gets home.
It is ten p.m. I am sleepy now and called her to tell her the numbers, I make her call me because on my prepaid cell phone is 20 cents per minute, I waited and waited, so I decide to go to bed with the info and the cordless phone next to me, several minutes later she calls me and is shocked I was asleep already, well I tell her you made me wait, and then keeps me on the phone while she tries the numbers I gave her (she has several cells 
).
She is joking and blah, blah, blah, it almost feels like she is doing me the favor instead of me.
What should have I done?
I find it hard to be angry with someone when they are joking and friendly, it is their actions that are rude. But gee. What should I do?
).
She is joking and blah, blah, blah, it almost feels like she is doing me the favor instead of me.
What should have I done?
I find it hard to be angry with someone when they are joking and friendly, it is their actions that are rude. But gee. What should I do?1 person likes this
12 responses
@fwidman (11514)
• United States
15 Jul 09
Your friend is a royal pain in the a$$. Always has been when she's on the phone with you, like calling at eleven and talking until one in the morning. She needs to fix her biological clock and go to bed 
What you should have done is what you did. Just put up with her request as best you can and let it go. She isn't going to change her ways, unfortunately. Instead of buying all those stupid cell phones and contracts for them she needs to invest in a computer and some internet access of her own 
What you should have done is what you did. Just put up with her request as best you can and let it go. She isn't going to change her ways, unfortunately. Instead of buying all those stupid cell phones and contracts for them she needs to invest in a computer and some internet access of her own 1 person likes this
@mrakobesie (1246)
• United States
15 Jul 09
hm... i think i would've gone to sleep with my phone on vibrate... she is the one who needs information, so if she has to call you a few times after 10 and can't get to you maybe she will figure it out and will stop calling so late. I have this rule when it comes to calling, i never call before 12pm and after 9pm. unless people tell me it's ok to call them earlier or later then that. i think it's just polite not to wake people up...
1 person likes this
@ShepherdSpy (8544)
• Omagh, Northern Ireland
16 Jul 09
Is this Person a Businesswoman that She needs to have various cellphones? If She's so busy and needs to find out info,why doesn't She stop wasting your time,get her own computer and do her own research? It sure sounds like She's wasting your time having you do these "requests" for her,then having to call you back to hear the results.If She gets on so well with her cellphone,maybe a web enabled phone might be worth her consideration? I feel you're putting yourself out too much for this woman if You resent the intrusion when She calls after you've crashed after waiting up for her to call! Let Her know you have a schedule and need to be in bed by a certain time.
@ShepherdSpy (8544)
• Omagh, Northern Ireland
18 Jul 09
She has unlimited internet? so she has access and a computer sitting at home? Next time she wants something looked up,tell her there's a problem with your computer that you can't do things for her on your time..have her get one of her kids to do the searching on her own machine if SHE won't do it herself!
@ShellyB (5241)
• United States
17 Jul 09
She is not a business woman, lol. She has a family plan and uses all her kids phones at will whenever she wants, the only she does not use it is her husband and her sisters.
She told me she had unlimited internet so I am not sure what happen. What I resent the most is her making me wait without a reason, and then not hanging up after she noticed I was sleepy, my idea now that I am more awake, is that she thought if the phone numbers I gave her were wrong, I would run to the computer till I got them right, and that thought never crossed my mind, I was just thinking hang up so I can go back to sleep.
@pratyushtamhankar (859)
• India
15 Jul 09
There's a small pink box right beside your discussion title. it says "mail this discussion to a friend". That is what you should do !!!
Ya such people can be very annoying. They do make you feel as if they are doing a favor on you by letting you do their job. Well if not stopped at the right time, it goes on getting tougher as time passes...
Take care, happy mylotting !
1 person likes this
@muhammadsalman (38)
• Pakistan
16 Jul 09
o man! she is calling u, not u(r calling her) so her balance will go in waste, just put ur phone on hold or switch it off or put it in silent mode and let her waste her money and enjoy your sleep or do one very special thing, give her my number or give me her cell number , i am always free and will keep her busy so dont worry i am here. reply
@EsmeraldaB (309)
• United States
15 Jul 09
I say get angry!
Tell her to be nicer or you wont be nice at at all!
@peavey (16936)
• United States
16 Jul 09
If I were you, I'd say, "I'm sorry, I can't do this right now, I'm busy with other things." Then hang up. She needs to know that you have a life, too, especially if you're job hunting. It's rude and worse to take advantage of you like that, regardless of how friendly they seem to be.
@ShellyB (5241)
• United States
17 Jul 09
Very truth, the problem was she called me after seven and it ended up with me searching for things while she was in the yard working, or taking her daughter to the store.
Weird.
And to me it is rude to tell someone I will call you back and make them wait more than half an hour.
I need to be more in control. That's for sure.
@Opal26 (17679)
• United States
16 Jul 09
Hey Shelly! I think you need to tell this person as nicely
as you can that she needs to call you when it is convenient
for you, not her! Since you are the one doing her the favor
then why should she put you out! Since you are allowed to
go to bed whatever time you want to I think you need to make
it clear to her that you would appreciate it if she calls you
before 10pm! You have to put your foot down! When you are
doing a favor for someone YOU are the one that is supposed
to be in control, not them! I know that you are trying to
be nice, but sometimes you just have to speak up!
@ShellyB (5241)
• United States
17 Jul 09
I know what you mean, I went to bed with the cordless phone, I imagine she would just write down the numbers and she would say thank and she will let me go to sleep, and I was waiting for the moment to do it, and she just kept talking and telling me to hang on.
I am going to follow your advice next time.
Thanks.
@Tallygirl09 (1380)
• United States
16 Jul 09
Sounds like a number of things were going on here. One, you were tired and needed to focus your energies on other things like finding a job as you mentioned. She didn't take your time and effort into consideration when asking you to do the searches for her nor the expense of your cell phone. How long have you known her? She sounds rather self envolved but she may not be. Perhaps she simply didn't realize that she was overstepping the boundaries of what was comfortable for you to do for her that day. As soon as the situation started to irritate you, you owed her and yourself the truth, you could have let her know that you'd be happy to help her with her searches but that today wasn't a day that you could. Since the situation went on and on, it sounds like you didn't want to offend her since she was joking around. Think about the situation and maybe write out step by step what happened and then ask yourself when you felt taken advantage of and when you were fine with it. People can only step over our boundaries so many times if we let them know what they are. You sound like a very caring friend and also very giving of your time. You might feel better if you ask her for a favor or two so that it feels more equal. Good luck with working it out since it sounds like you can!!
@rosyevening (270)
• India
16 Jul 09
i will stop joking at that time while my friend will behave with me in a strange mannar, i must understand the person before cutting any kind of jokes at him or her, we must keep in our mind about that person's mentallity, before bringing any sort of jocking topics before him or her . .. so what about you friend ?
@mohdehtesham (140)
• India
16 Jul 09
I am having very few best friend.I think they are the best friend .That why they are my friend .My friend dont do these type of things .Sometimes they joke i just take it light .I dont reply to that joke.In friendship joking is common .We sholud not take it serious.Mine friend are not rude to me and with others also.They are very kind people.
@MonkeyLtd (1)
• Sweden
15 Jul 09
I reckon you should just be straight with her. I think the best thing to do is just to tell her how you feel about the whole situation. Especially about the thing that happened in the evening, I know I would have flipped if any of my friends did that. I mean, why would you have to stay with her on the phone while she tries to call those other people? Why did she need you on the line anyways?
Just don't be rude back at her, maybe she's not really aware of her own behavior! Try to put it nicely :)
@ShellyB (5241)
• United States
15 Jul 09
You are right, today I it dawned on me that she wanted me to search for more phone numbers, and she was checking them out if they were working or not.
I will follow your advice, I did let her know she made me wait, let's see, she made wait long enough for me to clean a little my kitchen and fall sleep. Not cool.
I will try to sxplain to her if she doesn ot call before 10 p.m she is out of luck.
I will be polite 
