9 years together. Is it time?
By choang
@choang (36)
United States
July 15, 2009 4:36pm CST
Ok so me and my boyfriend have been together for 9 years now. Is it time to get married? Im nopt sure if im ready to get married though.
7 responses
@dodo19 (47336)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
15 Jul 09
Well, I think that you guys have to be ready to make this commitment. Otherwise, I don't think that there's much point. I don't really believe that there's really a right time for couples to get married. You guys should do it, if and when you are ready and in your own time. You should talk to your boyfriend about it and see what he has to say. After all, this is something that can really only be decided the two of you together.
@choang (36)
• United States
16 Jul 09
That's very true, this would be pointless relationship if we don't get married. We have talked about marriage once or twice but it's never a serious conversation. You're right, I need to talk to him and ask him how he really feels about it. Being together for so long, I hope he would wanna get married. I don't wanna feel like I've wasted 9 years of it life. I feel like I'm ready now. Thank you so much for responding!
@dodo19 (47336)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
14 Aug 09
I really wasn't trying to say that a relationship is pointless without marriage. My mom's sister has been with her boyfriend for years, for as long as I can remember, unmarried, and they are very happy together. Marriage is not for everyone. This is what I was trying to say, and I'm sorry if it seemed that I was saying otherwise.
@okkidokitokki (1736)
• United States
15 Jul 09
just a few questions:
are you living together? If so for how long?
have you been exclusive the whole time? (no cheating)
do you share bank accounts?
Are you in agreement about children? (do you want any or have any?)
How often do you argue with each other?
I would say that if you answer yes to most of the questions and do not argue alot then why not.
In the end you have to be completely ready to commit to each other. Life does change after you are married. Right now you both know that you could just walk away at any time, but when you are married you have to commit to working out any problems there might be.
@choang (36)
• United States
16 Jul 09
Well we just started living together for since march of 09. We've both been faithful to each other. We don't share a bank account though. But, I take care of all the finances. He gives me all his checks and asks for money when he needs it. We do agree on children, we both want kids some day. And we don't argue too much. We don't have a perfect relationship but it's a good one. I think of myslef as being committed to him already. I couldn't really picture myself win anyone else right now. I think we'll probably end up getting married. He needs to hurry up and propose. Haha. Thanks for responding! I appreciate it :)
@angelsmummy (1696)
•
18 Jul 09
You need to be ready for marriage. It doesnt matter how long you have been in a relationship if you arent ready then you arent ready. Me and my partner have been together 2 years but we are getting married as we want to and we feel ready to move to that part of the realtionship. We are waiting until we can afford it tho
@jamiegurl123 (80)
• United States
20 Jul 09
I wouldn't rush anything. If your not sure than I wouldn't do it. Its a huge deal and you don't want to have any regrets once it happens.
@n4butterfly4 (1)
• United States
24 Jul 09
wow 9 years together that's a long time.
before you do anything its best to think everything through.
talk to your partner and make sure you guys are on the same terms.
Think about if you are ready to live with this person(if you dont already)
an what your going to leave behind when you do get married.
the most important thing is to just make sure you are BOTH ready for this kind of commitment.
hope everything works out.
@cassrufus (116)
• Philippines
27 Jul 09
for MARRIAGE is a sacred but it is not import if
you believe in your relationship, what i try to say is
the most important factor in relationship is LOVE not marriage
and marriage cant increase your potential in loving your partner
is is just for paper and celebration and also the clearance in the eyes
of GOD that you both loving each other.
hope you get my idea...
@rivengodwind (369)
• Philippines
17 Jul 09
I'm just wondering why you needed to ask this question; 9 years is enough (some would say "too long") for a couple to decide if they're really meant for each other. I suggest you ask the opposite question too: Why haven't you tied the knot after all these years? Is it because of convenience, or maybe because marriage is not that important?
I'm just presenting another perspective to your situation, another tool for your thinking. God bless.
