Dear Abby could this have been handled better?

In all honesty I feel the Sister is wrong for not being clear upfront about what her budget was. The friend provided a discounted service that has now ended up with all her efforts being in vain. She has every right to feel cheated in my opinion, even though she could've asked what the budget is beforehand as well.

Always, always, put in writing first the expectations of both sides and the terms of the work to be done, etc. Especially if the friend is not as friendly with the 'new' client. So get out of the middle and let the two of them fight it out on Judge Judy............

In all fairness, it should have been stated at the outset that the embroidery being done by hand would send the price up. If it was the bride wanting the hand embroidery she should have realised that it would be costly to have done. Seriously though, did the person ordering the dress think that people would work for free or that she was being given a gift of the dress? I can understand why the seamstress and the sister are not friends....sorry but I think your sister is being unreasonable. If I was the seamstress I would sell the dress....but not to your sister.

Oh well.. Just wear the dress for the wedding, pay $800 upfront and the next $400 to pay in installments. Fair for all.. If the wedding dress turns out gorgeous, the $1200 seems worth it, to me. And she can keep it, right?

I have learned that you must always have things in writing, especially amongst friends. I asked a pretty good friend to work for me one day...it was a friday. At the last minute she called in and I was the one who got in trouble for the call in, as my name was on the schedule. The director of nursing told me that if I'd had it in writing from her, that she would work for me, I would not have been in trouble. I know this isn't exactly the same thing...but a signature on an agreement in both cases would have helped. As to whose fault...I'd say both. The buyer should have put a limit on cost and the seller should have given an estimate.

I always do price checks with alot of knife makers, i will not request a custom knife unless i know i can afford it, i go over the design, materials, and type of knife. after the knife maker tells me how much he'd charge to do one, i usually keep a note of it and after going to several makers, i figure if i want to choose one. When making a custom business you should always have a maximum amount that would be charged, preferrably a short range, it is usually easier if the customer requests what she could with a dress around $###-$### dollars. But that isnt what this topic is really about, your wondering who is right, wrong, and how could you handle it. The best option is for your seamstress to accept that people cant pay that much for stuff when a wedding is expensive on its own, the seamstress is the owner of that dress though, so the seamstress should post it on craigslist, ebay, (make a youtube video of a for sale wedding dress?) and just have friends spread the word incase anyone around her might be in need of one. i am very sorry you got stuck in the middle of this, it really must bug you if the friend complains about your sister often after the incident. in which case i know how you feel.

Both are wrong. A price should have been agreed upon when they discussed the dress. Also did the sister ask for all the hand embroidery that should also have been in the agreement. since the friend wasn't close to your sister your sister every thing should have been written down in detail, then your friend would have a leg to stand on. Even between friends details for such an expense should be written down and both signed.

They should have a written contract signed by both sides with deposit paid by your sister for 1/2 of the total fee.... In this case, both sides are guilty for not watching the business. For custom made dress your friend is stuck nowhere without pay and chances are that she will never be able to sell it. To make both happy they need a negotiator with common sense solution. The solution for me is to lower the price for dress, because of misunderstanding and exact price or price range was not presented up front. In the other hand, is the dress exactly like your sister wanted? Does she like it? If yes, solution is simple. Your friend was not cheated, if she is doing business, she better set up her price up front, people don't like surprises. You sister is also guilty, because she never say what is her maximum price to pay, but she wanted hand made embroidery. Dress like this should cost an about $2500 or more...because of hand crafting....People are not working for free.

I believe both of them have a fault in this. 1st of all they should have first discuss the cost and the budget for the gown even if they both know the situation at hand. Since I guess the friend knows that your sister was on a tight budget with the gown since she is not your sisters friend you might have told her your sisters situation that's why she volunteered to make the dress for her and with a discount on top of it. If you have told her your sisters situation about the $800 cost for the gown then she knows it's $800 less discount that she actually volunteered on. I guess you have also told your friend your sister earns only $4 an hour. Your sister thinking that she'll get a good deal since the friend volunteered to do the gown for her didn't think much of the cost..Now the gown is finish..Your friends fault was she volunteered on something when she already knows the situation. She should have budgeted the cost of the gown to a much simpler but nicer style and did gave your sister a good deal since that is what they discussed about. And when she is doing business with people she should always discuss the budget first and not exaggerate on the style she wants to make on the gown...Budget first then style after the budget is settled. Your sisters fault was she should have been upfront with this friend on how much she can spend for the gown since she is on a tight budget for it. There are lots of simpler gown with style and cost less..If they both discussed this very well then no trouble would have been cost. This was plain misunderstanding on both part. If your friend wants to get rid of the gown she should give it at a discounted price to your sister or she could sell it somewhere else if she won't comply.

i used to seamstress,so i'm going to have to say both. the friend should have been clearer about the price before starting and the sister should have made certain of the price and it was what she wanted to pay. i quit doing piecework for reasons such as this-there were some people even if you made clear price,you often got stuck with the finished product anyway.i'd rather do pre-made pieces to sell on etsy or ebay.no quibble.

i think sister should have gotten a certain price before the whole deal started. she knew how much she wanted to pay and what she couldnt. sorry, but i think she should pay anyway or not even have hired the dress to be made. a while back, my friend said her son would put some things together for me. she said he would get help. i asked how much. she said 10 an hour for each guy. i said that was a bit steep but maybe it'd only take an hour. as it was, her son did it alone in 2 hrs. so because of his thoughtfulness i gave him 50 bucks.i believe a person should pay what they bargained for at least. so, she should have bargained.

You know how this one goes, always make clear concise wording when making a contract, either by word of mouth or in writing, preferable in writing. Both parties are going to learn a lesson about this. Friend has the right to expect a reasonable fee for her labor, sister will have to pay unless dress can be sold to someone else. Friend must provide proof of fee due. Comparable dress. Good case for small claims court, you get to keep your sister and you may or may not get to keep your friend. Blessings to all.

My opinion is that the sister tried to get a deal on something that she knew was expensive. She got her discounts, embroidery takes a lot of time. Anyone looking for a wedding dress knows that. Stuck in the middle? She shouldn't be. It was a business deal and a client stiffed a person. Just because you know a person doesn't mean that you have any leverage to say they need to do the right thing and pay for the dress they ordered. Could this have been handled better? Maybe a more detailed idea on cost maybe. Maybe the person ordering the dress should be more realistic on what an honest discount on that much labor should be. Stuck in the middle shouldn't be stuck in the middle. She can be angry with her sister for stiffing a friend, but in all honesty, you can't choose your family. Friends however are relationships you create. And a good friend, like the dress maker, should know that you can't judge people by who they are related too. To be honest, there are details missing for a better response, but it boils down to you can't take advantage of people through connections. You still need to pay for what you want, but maybe what a person wants is unrealistic.

If i was the seamstress i would have tried to find someone else to sell the dress to. If both parties involved had an agreement before anything had started then everyone would have gotten what they had wanted. The friend stuck in the middle should have no bearing on the agreement between the sister and seamstress. They are both wrong.

Hi dawn! In my opinion, i think before doing business (friends or not friends). Should have a agreement first about the prices and how much does it cost for labour and etc. I think it's the seamstress wrong, im afraid. She must name her price first, to know if her client can afford to pay it. Coz she is the one who do the work, she is the one who sell the dress, so it's her responsible to set the price of it before doing the job. Happy posting.

The Price should have been reached before the dress was even started, and if the bride wanted all that hand embroidery she should have been expecting to pay for it. The seamstress should not have been expected to make a hand made dress like that for nothing.. They were both in the wrong.