Can you forgive?
By sauman2006
@sauman2006 (125)
India
July 16, 2009 3:06pm CST
Can you ever forgive your partner for an act of adultery. Say your partner strayed just once under some compelling reasons and sincerely feel sorry for what he or she has committed and ask for your forgiveness . Are you willing to do that? If so why?
7 responses
@jaiho2009 (39141)
• Philippines
16 Jul 09
Yes i can,and yes i did it not only once,not only twice but thrice and so forth.But still he keeps cheating so i let go.But i had given him forgiveness for i don't want to live with hatred.
You ask me why i did it?...It is becoz i have loved him and cling to to his promises everytime he ask for forgiveness and in my heart i hoped he would changed.But things doesn't work out that way.
@joyetree (25)
• India
16 Jul 09
Hi Jaiho2009!
I would like to add a few things. See,if someone deliberately cheats on you then Im sorry to say,that the person has taken you for granted. It is not always done,that each and every time a "MISTAKE" is committed(intentionally!!) and forgiveness is asked and you go on forgiving the person for days,weeks,months,years........and maybe for a lifetime.
let me tell you the story of one of my classmates.
Every time her boyfriend is caught with some lies,or some minor quarrel has taken place between them she always hurts herself with some sharp instrument(maybe a razor,or a knife or something like that.) Do you think any % of sanity is present in her? She has become so dependent on him that she just cannot come out from that relation(and I think she doesn't even want to come out!!)The man has become so indispensible in her life that she just cannot think of anything else. And I must repeat my words....PEOPLE WHO MAKE MISTAKES DELIBERATELY,ARE DOING IT INTENTIONALLY,BECAUSE THEY KNOW HOW MUCH DEPENDENT YOU ARE ON THEM AND MAKE FULL USE OF THAT.
@jaiho2009 (39141)
• Philippines
16 Jul 09
Precisely my friend,he thought i can't live without him,so i give him the dose of his own medicine,i kicked him out of my life 4 yrs ago.
@THEcreationist (837)
• India
17 Jul 09
Well, my friend, It is not a case for my partner or for a case of adultery only. Be it any mistake or crime by anybody, i am always willing to forgive. If a person is sincerely sorry for the mistake or crime he/she has done, it is always good to give another chance until God himself decides to punish him/her. I believe in loving everyone as myself.
Happy Mylotting!!
@jellymonty (2352)
•
16 Jul 09
Well we are all supposed to forgive one another no matter what they have done. God commands that we forgive one another just as he has forgiven us.
But on the subject of adultery, I think its a hideous crime to commit not only against God but also to your spouse. The book of proverbs plainly says "he who commits adultery has no sense" and I am a firm believer that if you commit adultery you truly do not love your spouse at all and therefore that alone constitutes for a divorce (which is sad).
But since am single I don't have to worry about adultery as my relationship ended as a result of infidelity on his part. I for one would forgive him (which I did) but I would never trust him again and he lost my respect for him.
@happyness3 (394)
• United States
16 Jul 09
I know this sounds bad, and I am not a cheater, but I hate spouses who accuse you of cheating when you aren't. My first husband accused me for 5 years of sleeping with every man I met. I finally told him that if he didn't stop, I would go do it. He didn't, so I did, and then I divorced him. In the divorce I found out he had been cheating on me...hence all his insecurities. I remarried eventually, and I was very up front with my husband, to not accuse me of cheating, and I would never do it. He did...again, and again, and again. I finally kicked him out, and got my credit card statement and found out he was paying for online dating. Now I am with someone that, we have an agreement...if he wants to cheat, or if I want to cheat, we will just go our separate ways. We are totally honest with each other. And so, no, when you cheat, its over. It will never be the same.
@joyetree (25)
• India
16 Jul 09
Hi Sauman2006
An act of adultary commited by a person whom who trust a lot definitely hurts. Whenever you think of that person the contrasting thoughts keep coming to your mind. But you know what,I think before taking any decision you should first place yorself in that position and think what you would have done under those circumstances. Maybe its a bit weird to do that. But just think,there could have been instances where you could have indulged yourself in the same way your partner did. Then? How would it feel to you if he/she wouldn't have forgiven you?
I think decisions in these cases should be taken after judging each and every possibility. Although one is free to do whatever he/she wantS to. Still..... a last thought should always be given!
happy MyLotting!!!
@ShibbyKid (279)
• United States
17 Jul 09
I would be willing to forgive if they could make a full on commitment to me. Letting me know everything, why, and keeping me in their mind when they look at other people and not hiding important things from me.
@surveygeeek (189)
• United States
16 Jul 09
I look at it this way. No matter who is in front of me, no matter what the offer is, if I'm going to cheat on my partner, then I clearly don't care about her anymore. It doesn't mean I don't love her, but if I'm willing to put my momentary lust before her peace of mind, then how can I claim to care about her at all? I believe that if someone cheats, they will do it again. It might not be for ten or fifteen years, but when the opportunity is presented, it will happen. After all, they gave in the first time, and they didn't lose anything because of it. So why shouldn't they do it again? They can only win.
