My Husbands Earning is Our Income, My Earning is my own incme?? what do you say

Hi Kiran! I feel that if I say your friend is right, then it will make you more happy. However, I am not in agreement with your friend's point of view. When you get married you are seen as one family and the income of a husband and a wife should be jointly counted. It does not look good, if two mature people keep saying look this is my income, my money and this is your money. When they both bring up children they function as a unit and they spend the amount jointly. In case, husband's income is sufficiently higher than wife and he can handle the affairs single handedly then it is another matter. But in case both are required to contribute, then the question of mine and yours should not come up, it will spoil the atmosphere and relationship. I appreciate that a woman of the house works/contribute probably more in a home rather than her husband. Due respect and regards should be given to this fact and it must be acknowledged. I do the same.....LOL! An excellent post! Deepak

I do not think that your friend is right in saying this in front of her husband.The chores which she is doing is not her professional duty but responsibility towards family and she is fully accountable to serve her family. I am a working professional too and my income is 200% of my husband's income but i have never thought this way.We both club our income and manage household.Some money is saved and rest is spent on household affairs and on children. I think she suffers from superiority complex and feels very great about serving her family and managing home too.

Honestly, I'm not feeling that at all! In a marriage everything should be 100%, that's one of the main reasons the divorce rate is so high, MONEY! Trust me, if he got upset, soon his income would be his own, as well as, they'll be another statistic! Just because they have kids in college, don't mean that won't happen. I wish everyone the best in their marriage, but selfishness has no place in a marriage, no matter what it is! Taripre$

When they have become a family,they should have practiced to combine their income and budget on it.They should have planned to save some money for their future and their kids.The wife's needs should have been taken into account.If the man tries to dominate the relationship,then this type of conflicts occur and cannot be avoided.If there is true love in their relationship,this argument will not have occured.It seems they are living just a materialistic life.Cheers!

Hi kiran. Good to see you start a discussion.Its been a while. Well, I think that your friend should not have said it out straight on her husband's face like that.Must have hurt him I am sure.But as far as the topic and the issue go, I see nothing wrong in what she says.I would rather say, it depends on the situation. Finally when two people are living their lives together, if only one earns then the other automatically needs to divert his finances towards the running of the household.But if both are earning, I think the finances don't need to be clubbed. The best thing to do would be, per who earns what, pool in a percentage towards the running of the household.The remaining amount-each person gets to keep what he/she makes. I know a couple where the husband and wife clubbed their finances.Unfortunately, they had to land in the courts for divorce and it got super messy. Nice topic!

they should be together in earning and using. As they already become a family. :)

We have a joke here. My husband's money is mine, and my money is mine, too. To be serious, I think since they get married. So I don't think the money shall be divided into two parts. As both of them are couples, their income shall be also get together in my opinion. At my home, my husband and I also go to work. My husband gives me all his income because I think I am good at handle it. I am responsible to save and pay the bills. Sometimes I will do some investment. My husband can withdraw money from the card whenever he needs it. Besides, he also has a credit card, and he can buy anything he likes. So even if he doesn't deal with money, but he can still use it when he needs. I love China

Hi Kiran, If she thinks that she is doing job for her family how can she be a responsible wife or mother. The wife is supposed to look after her family well and of course husband should be there to support her physically and emotionally else it is natural to think in that way by a wife. Generally there is a belief that husband is the bread winner and wife is meant for doing house hold works. In case wife is also going for work that means she is taking extra responsibilities for her family. Definitely she needs the support from her husband to running the family well. If she is not getting the support then she may thinks like this way. So we can’t blame her. In my opinion both are working for the family and both have equal responsibilities. If there is a difference of opinion means there are internal problems in the family consequently the wife feels insecurity or some other problems.

hi kiran, you are right and your friend is 100 percent right,she has every right to say like that,some people are like that,they have to left the things time will solve the problem in future convey my best wishes to your friend also and have a nice day

I think on my part, I will do that to my wife. I will give her all her income since she is having all the job needed to be fixed at home and my own earnings will be spend for our family and her earnings will be her. But, that would only happen if my income are more and the family expenses is just so little. AS of now, we are living in the same house we rented but we are not yet married but I do all the expenses and she saves all her earnings. I just don't know were those earning from her own effort will go but I shoulder all the expenses at this moment because it was just a small expenses yet.

Well, for me my husband is the bread winner, I am a typical housewife my earnings is small compared to him. He is in charge to pay all bills because he is the one who work. He gave me his salary and budget it for the whole month. For me to save for our future. I motivate myself to work online so I could help him to buy food for our daily needs and buy some stuff like clothes for him and for our son. I shared whatever earnings I have. And save some amount of his salary. That is why he don't forced me to go back to an eight hour job. He wants me to work at home and do some part time job online. If I earned more money I want a 50/50 share expenses. 50% from his salary and 50% from me. It's a fulfillment for me to work and share my earnings. Happy mylotting!

if I was married and my wife said that I would give up work so that we would have to use her wage. When you are married you are no longer individuals you make the commitment to fuse 2 lives and you become a team (family). Everything should be shared. As her husband could turn round and say well if your keeping your wage I am keeping mine.

i think it would be a better idea if both couples are working and earning so that they won't have much argue about money.

This is a good question and I'm pretty sure some may agree or not to my opinion but let just focus on your friend's issue, clearly the husband is not happy in the situation otherwise they wont have disagreements. Yes, they both work and according to her she does more to his husband and she get pays less that's why she feels she's entitle to keep her own salary and use his husband income to pay all the bills. In my view, this is not a healthy relationship and could create a serious damage in their marriage if she doens't address the issue. She agree to be with him, or if they're married to be has one. And this includes certain responsibilities like household matters, cooking, and all the chores she had mentioned. If she feels she is burden to some responsibilities, she should discuss this to his husband and share responsilities. I know its easy to say this, because I'm not in her shoes but you're friend have to realize what if the husband got tired of it and just decided to leave/divorce her, she will still do the same chores, cleaning, dropping off the kids to school and etc...yes the husband will still provide for the kid untill they reach 18 and she doesn't need to depend herself to him on why she needs to keep her money however she will end up using her own money personal and kids expenses.

Well, when it comes to a marriage and income, it is supposed to be a 50/50 split and everything shared down the middle. It is usual when both work a lot of times that the husband does make the most as my husband makes more than I do as well. The way we do it, is he pays most of the main bills, and then I am in charge of the Groceries and some of the other additional needs as well. If we are short in other areas I help there as well. The only thing that is totally mine that I never have to share is the Income I earn from some of the Business ventures I do, or from the earnings I earn online like in my paypal account from this site, etc. Then my husband feels this is for me to do whatever I want with as it is extra $$ I would have never had otherwise a lot of times as well.

I can understand what she is doing. I tell my husband this same thing all of the time, but he knows that I am teasing. I do keep some of my money to do things that I want to do,but I do my fair share of paying bills too. I earn from a part time job and I still do all of the housework and stuff. I can sympathize with her over that as it is tough! She needs to explain to her husband that she needs part of her money and what it is going for.

Hello there friend. In my opinion, once couples enter into marriage, everything should be shared by both, and this has to be cleared up in the early stage of own, marriage. It is best for them to sit down, agree and pray as to how they will regard money as such and how they will use it wisely. Without proper communication about the use of money, this can result to frictions among couples, saying that one's earning should just be spent by each individual or vice versa or this situation you have said. Thus, as money is a gift for couples, it should be meant for sharing. God bless!^^

i think it right if the husband hold the responsibility for the family need i think your income maybe you can save it for urgent need sometime or you can spend it

yes, i agree if it to be together in earning and use.. because for a couple : mine is yours and yours is mine...

Hi Kiran! I agree with your friend of keeping the husband's income in her care as she is the one making the budget for the family. However, it is not proper keeping her salary only for her needs. In our case, my husband earns a lot more than what i'm earning (7 times of my earnings) and he never give me a penny for my needs but he takes care of all the expenses at home while I am doing the household chores alone. He made it a point that whatever money left with him is not my concern anymore and so be it! Anyway I'm earning enough for myself and for an investment that I think would be a fallback for our future. Though I'm hurting because I know that he is spending his money unwisely while I am trying to save for our future I can't do anything. Otherwise, I can just step out of the house and live my life alone. But for the sake of saving our marriage i choose to stay with him. Isn't it a pitiful situation? By the we are married for over 5 years and we are expecting a baby in two months time. Yes i'm serious, your friend is lucky to have a husband like him, at least she's having control of his income and make sure that the it will be spent for the family needs and for their future as well. As for the household chores it is more of a responsibility of the wife to the family and if I am in her shoes I would be willing to do more than that...LOL....Good Day!