Reason for getting home help when you can do it yourself

I think I would always try and do it all myself for my loved one. I would not want someone else in my home and I love and care for him enough, if I have the strength, I will fo it.

Well, when it comes to helping care for a Loved one, I think overall it really needs to be a matter of balance. I know back when I got really sick almost 5 yrs. ago I had to have Home Health care and it was important for my husband to work so I had someone come in here every other day to help out. For me, I think that was the Best deal just to give my husband time to do normal things without having to spend all of his time around me worrying even more than he was as well. But at the same time I don't think it would be an easy thing if you left them alone and then something was to happen to them, as it would be really hard to forgive yourself as well.

I think, more than anything, emotional stress makes it really hard to care for someone close to you all the time. Anyone needs a break from a situation like that, and you can trust a trained professional to take over for you, whether it's on a regular basis or just when you really need a break.

When you become "caregiver" sometimes you cease to be spouse or family member. You lose the identity of the relationship. For that reason I would suggest that any caregiver get some scheduled help all along. Also take advantage of respite help for a day or two if needed. Then you can focus on the relationship and on saying the important things to each other, instead of one becoming a slave to the other. In my experience, I had help at home on a weekly basis for as long as I could. My hospice social worker continued to remind me that I would never be able to fix the situation, no matter how hard I tried. My husband felt he was taking too much of my time, and asked to be put in a nursing home. While he was there, I eventually spent twenty two hours a day there, but I was there as his wife, and the employees were there as care givers.

Oh, I thought you meant for like an hour or two, to get some rest for yourself. That is something I know is good for the caregiver. But for a month? No way could I do that. MAYBE (and that's a "probably not" maybe) for a weekend, but that would be the longest... When you have a spouse/relative who is ill enough to need constant care, you need a break or you're going to wear yourself down.

I can't speak from personal experience here, but I do have a friend in America, an ex-nurse, whose husband is a few years older than her. He contracted Alzheimer's disease several years ago, and was unable to fend for himself. He lost all interest in the things he used to love doing and despite watching football matches on TV, had to ask her the score, or who was playing. It's a sad situation to find yourself in after several years of marriage; wanting to be there for them, yet feeling helpless and exhausted from caring for them. Nevertheless, she stuck with him through thick and thin, not allowing help other than her own nursing of him. It became harder and harder. He would get up in the middle of the night and start trying to cook, or he would attempt something outdoors, taking bad falls because he wasn't concentrating on what he was doing, owing to the steadily worsening disease. They kept telling her she needed help to care for him... time off, like you say... but still, she wouldn't accept. Then one day, he tried to go outside, forgetting the steps, and fell heavily on his face. Besides broken limbs, he broke his nose and they couldn't stop the bleeding for ages. He spent a lot of time in hospital, some of it on a life support machine, but she visited every single day and stayed for many hours. She had that need to be there, with him. He did recover from his injuries, but the hospital told her that he only had a few months to live, which left her devastated. It's difficult to know where to draw the line and allow somebody to help you with the caring, I would imagine. You think you can do it alone, but there comes a time when you find that a carer might have prevented something happening which you couldn't. With Alzheimer's the patient can't be left alone for a moment, for fear that they might do something very dangerous without thinking. So, in some cases, I think you need to employ a carer to help out, especially at times when you need to take a break, cook dinner, or whatever because however safe you feel you're keeping the patient, there is no telling what might happen with them. Brightest Blessings, my friend.

This is a very delicate subject suspansful. I don't know about Canada, but here in Australia family caregivers get paid by the government, so many qualified family mambers can take care of loved ones, while getting paid. I guess this takes a little of the pressure off them. They can take breaks when needed, and get outside help during that period.

I was an HHA (home health aide) for many years. The reason the people get in home help are as varied as people. Here are some: If the family caregiver is the sole support of the family, and giving up their job would be detremental to the care of everyone concered. Every caregiver need time away from the job. If you have to do a job 24;7, then your quality of work necissarily decreases. You can give more of yourself and do a better job if you have a regular opportunity to get away. Professional caregivers often have tips, and techniques the layman dosn't. Also the client/family member often will resond better to professionals than family on difficult tasks that either embarass or hurt. This also gives the family caregiver and the recipient a better chance to enjoy the time they are together. I could go on but I am sure you get the drift.

It is a natural phenomenon. Sun rises and sun sets. You can see the birds flying away in the morning and comes back at dusk. So are we humanbeings. meapas.