Anyone know of someone with Alzheimers?

My friend's grandfather experienced the same disease as your father's and she really handled the situation pretty well. Having a relative with this kind of problem takes a lot of patience and acceptance. You must accept that it's not reversible and can not be cured. You need patience to do his activities of daily living. I bet your mother really loves your father that's why she doing what she's doing right now. I think you're not a terrible person rather, you need someone who will explain to you about the disease and how to accept and live with someone like it. I salute you and your mom for still visiting your father in a nursing home. I hope that someday you could get to accept and learn to deal with our father's illness.Ü

Everyone handles things in different ways, when my mother was in a nursing home with alzheimers I was told that very same thing that she really has gone into her own little world, I looked at that she was half between two world so to speak...I was like you at first but I was surprised how strong I became, I felt a need after awhile to be there for her, help her through this as she would have done for me...then I started helping other people that came to the nursing home with theit parent that felt like I didat first, all of a sudden I felt i was doing something worthwhile, after my mother passed way I stayed and volunteered at that nursing home for six years, it was very rewarding and all very new to me as I guess you could say I had lived a very selfish life, lived for me, this whole experience made me grow up and i think I became a better person, but that does not make you a bad person for feeling the way you do, we all cope differently, but for yourself i would say go ans spend quality time with your dad, I think you will appreciarte why when he passes...I wish you well I know it is a very hard time.... :)

My grandmother has Alzheimers and thankfully she's pretty high functioning for someone that's had it for so long. She has a tough time remembering words and speaking, she also cannot remember how to do some things but with help she can remember some things. She can walk fine, she can toilet fine, but she just needs some help with other things. Even so, I still feel like it's such a horrible disease that they really need to find a cure for. It takes awhile perfectly sane people and turns them into a shell of a person and it's like a prison really where they are trapped inside their own minds.

It is very hard to accept that someone you love is in this physical/mental situation. I can understand you not wanting to see him like that. I can also relate to why your mom wants you to see him. She is in need of support from you. I would say to go and see him. I know it will be hard but if I were in your situation I would not want to leave your mom hanging. She deals with it every day and it might open your eyes a little bit to see what she sees. My granny has had this for several years now. She does not remember most of her children nor her grandchildren or great grand children. She stays with my aunt and she does remember her however. It is very hard to deal with. When my aunt goes to work she will drop my granny off at a relatives home or she will take her to an adult day care facility. She has lost many physical functions as well. She will feed herself but it is very slow and she needs constant prompts to do so. I kept her for a week straight to give my aunt a break and it was very difficult to deal with. I had to struggle to get her to bed in the evenings and she constantly wanted me to be by her side. She would not fall asleep unless I was in the room with her and if she woke up and I was not there she would wander through the house looking for "that girl". Once during a terrible thunderstorm she woke up reliving her past when she was a teenager and her younger cousin had gotten lost. She insisted on looking in every room, under every bed, in every closet and then when we did not find the baby she wanted to go outside in a downpour with lots of thunder and lightening. I am sorry that your father is in this situation. I would lend as much support to your mom as you can though. It is a very sad ordeal. You might want to try to find some online forums that deal with alzheimers and see if you can find some coping mechanisms. Good luck.

I know a friend whose mother get this kind of diseases. her mother is very sweet and endearing mother. She always ask her daughter, such things like, every times like where she is going, how is her day, where is her friends, and any sort of stuffs. This is everday scenarion that it becomes irritating and annoying to her. When her mother suffer from alzheimer. She forgot to ask her daughter, and becomes so silent. The mother forget her daughter names,and all the happy memories is totally wipes out. The daughter feel guilty as she do not gives too much attention to her mother when her memory is still active that she miss her badly. Especially those funny times and now that she is pregnant. The daughter even wish her mother mind is still well and sound good. And she could see her grandchildren and play with them. I too realize, that we need to be patience with our aging parents if we do not want to suffer like what they experience now is very difficult.

Hi, sorry to hear that about your father. I think this is the worst disease ever as you lose the person you know when time passes and he/she becomes a new person that you dont know. He/she will forget you and everyone by time. They even forget who they are and what they do or did... It is really horrible....

You must have felt bad about what's happening to your grand pa. you shouldn't say things like he's gone even though he's alive. spend time at least a minute or two or you might regret it. i know i did, i never forgave myself for simply thinking the way your thinking now about your grandpa.

my granny has it. your father is not really there anymore - i know this is an awful thing to say but i've seen what this disease does, the thing is your mother will be happier if you go, i know it'll be terrible for you but it won't be for very long.

My grandmother had an Alzheimer but she's gone. The last time i visited her she couldn't remember me. I was so sad even though we're not that close. When i got older i don't want to experience this disease. It would be very sad not to remember the people you love and the memories we shared.

well, it is very difficult because it is your parents who are involved. just be strong and supportive, it is a natural feeling if you know someone in your family has a disease. just pray. god bless.

It must be hard for you seeing your father that way. of course, your mom loves your dad and that's why she goes there everyday. you should pay a visit too because it might be one of his last days. although he won't remember but am sure it might help you feel a bit better knowing you visited him before he literally die.

sorry for the situation. I haven't seen this in real life but in movies. Aren't there any treatments?

That disease is really awfull,a person will not remember all those things he will not even know that he is a human...I have a classmate telling me that his both grandparents have this disease, he tol me that they were shocked when they saw that his grandfather was riding on his grandmother..His grandmother said that it's his horse and the grandmother was really acting really like a horse..Despite of that his family is always there to take care of them although they know that their grandparents do not know them..I guess you should visit your father once n a while before it's too late...

First of all don't let yourself down.Here are some measures you can do to really get some sort of improvement in your father.Firstly have someone take care of his hygiene as this is a major issue in this disease.Also remember that dignity is the only important thing to own when suffering from such disease,and its only thing that is left.HOPE YOU GET ALL YOUR WISH FULFILLED.HAVE A NICE DAY

I don't think you are a teribel person I actually think that you are scared and you hate to see him that way. I think that way because that happens to me when I see my grand parents from my dads side. They both have Alzheimers but my grandma is worst than my drandpa. I was told that she walk and eats but not that mutch so most of the time they would have the little cans that are like a diner but in liquid. She started to forget years ago and at first it was the names then she would be talking about something then another thing that has noting to do with it. And now she can't go to the restroom on her own and she will some times remember things from 30 or more years ago but she can't remeber if she took her medicen a few hours ago. My grandpa is another story he has a little problem going to the restroom on time but not all the time. He will confuse us with other people most of the time he harly talks and he is not eating all that good either. He walks around all the time but there have been times when he gets lost and those not remember how to go back home. My dad wanted to put them in a retirement home but one of my ants refused to because she knows people that work there and told her that they are better of at home. And since the other retirement home is far from her so she can visit and make sure that they are ok she just kept them with her. I know it is scary to see some you love go true something like that but there is nothing we can do to stop it. All we have left to do is to be with them because a few minutes wont hurt and I know if you don't go it will hunt you because you know you care about him. Just try to go see him and if you really don't want to go back it would be ok since you atlest tried.

no, i don't.

I don't have anyone related to me that have alzheimers but where I work in my college placement at a nursing/care home most of the patients have dementia/alzheimers and it is hard to see them looking like that, even my self I find it hard to look at them because I get upset easily. But you just have to be strong and be there for them no matter what, they might not remember you but hey, they're still your family and as for your situation he is your dad. I don't think you are being terrible person, some people just can't stand to see their loved ones suffering, but just try to be there for him. Wait, did you say "to me he is gone?" so I'm guessing he's still alive. So it's best to be there for him because he only have few to live and If I were you I would be there to spend time that it might be the last minute for him. Goodluck though.