100% HUMAN: Upon loosing it...

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Most of the time, I tend to keep my emotions inside. I seldom get angry or mad because I am "avoiding" that emotion. Why? It's because it scares me when I get mad. It's like all of those negative ideas (even crazy ones) keep on floating inside my mind and I can't seem to stop it. When I am angry, one of the things I can only think of is to hurt that person I'm mad at, or make that person upset to, just to get even. I know its bad and I know that doing the likes of those ideas will make me regret it afterwards because that could mean hurting the people I care the most. That is why I keep myself from getting mad. My only concern is that: when I get really, really upset and I try to force myself to calm down or shut my mouth, I find myself having a hard time breathing for a couple of hours! Not only that, I also get chest pains! can you give me tips on how to handle things differently? thank you!