My heart broken to pieces ...

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I had my heart broken with my first serious relationship. I thought that we are headed to the altar after we graduated in college. Sadly, rumors were already swirling around that he is cheating. Since we had different schools, I was the last one to know. I personally caught them coz they have this class together and perhaps also i have the intuition that something is very wrong. I visited him in his campus where i saw them. The girl left and my BF and I talked about this and I confronted him. At first he tried denying it but eventually come clean. I just wanted to die at that moment since I fought for our love coz my parents do not approve of him. I thought I after giving everything for our relationship to last, he would stay faithful to me. I trusted him so much that up to that moment I still wanted to believe it is untrue. After our talk, i though he went home while I wandered alone in the streets crying and just kept on walking even contemplating to throw myself to the street cars so I would just die and stop the pain. Perhaps God was watching over me that night coz I decided to hail a cab and instructed the driver to bring me home. When I was home, I tried still to patch things up and am willing to forgive him. I called him and he was not home and i wondered where did he go when all the while i though he said he would go home. After i think an hour or so, I called him again and finally he answered the phone, then i asked where he went and i got the most painful answer which had my heart already badly injured torn to million pieces. He answered me that he went looking for the girl coz he was worried. When all this time while he was getting worried for the girl, i was roaming the dark streets and contemplating killing myself and all the while he was looking out the other girl's welfare. I think it is still one of the most painful moments in my life and guess what since my family does not know i still have a relationship with him, i had to sleep beside my sister that night covering my mouth while I cried so she will not wake up and see me crying.