I love my family, but what about me? Have I done what I thought is right?

Tweet

I am living a very confused life right now. I don’t know which path I should take. I don’t know which one is right either. It’s been eight moths since I have stayed at my parent’s house together with my siblings. Since mom died last November I have taken her role and her responsibilities of taking care of the family, the house, my brothers and sister though they’re all grown up now, their clothes, their food, the maids and running errands for them. It was a sudden change of path for me because for 13 years I have lived a single independent life at our hometown, living a simple life with my loving pets, having my own food, I have my own place and paying my own bills. But when mom died, I was forced to go back and live with my family and stop from working, forget about the opportunities waiting for me here at our hometown. I still wanted to go back to work and revive the business that I had to close when I left eight months ago. I was happy living with them but I know deep inside I am sad. I felt I was stripped off of my own life and my own dreams. But now I am back again at my hometown. I was able to find a job, the same job I have been doing before all these happened. I am also creating my plans on how to restart the business again. Last night, was my first night with my pets cause’ though I always travel back here every month I don’t bring my pets with me. I just clean the house and pay the water and electric bills and then travel back to my family again. I am so happy that finally I was able to come back, stay long enough to restore the life I once had and be what I want to be but why am I feeling a little guilty from leaving my family? I know it’s going to be hard for them cause’ they’re not used to living on their own. Mom has taken good taken care of them and I think she has spoiled them a bit too. They don’t really know much about taking care of the house. I am also worried with my father that no one will take care of him. My siblings are also quite irresponsible and my father just knows how to work and pay the bills. I have seen how things go around the house. Though they have maids, the maids still need to be supervised and no one does that except for my mom and now me. It’s going to be hard for them. My sister told me to come back soon but I need to work. If I stay with them I have no income and though my dad can provide for all of us I can’t just rely on him. I have my own needs too. I have my own dreams and I feel I just can’t grow old just like that, just taking care of my family, without doing something for myself. We are not a rich a family and I need to have a fall back when the need arises. Good for my siblings cause they have their own job. I am really confused. Tell me, have I done the right thing or am I selfish for still thinking of my own dreams. When I left them yesterday, I know my dad doesn't agree that I have to leave and work away from them.