.... Future Ex Wife/Husband ...
@sanjana_aslam (4187)
Malaysia
July 20, 2009 2:39am CST
Do you think people who have once married and divorced .. may not be able to maintain/sustain their next weddings wedding ...
Maybe when they are getting married for the next time they already have listed them as Future Ex Wife/Husband ...
This is not meant to offend anyone but ... i think that once you have the confidence of something better can be the outcome of life rather than sacrificing for 1 person.
cheers
4 people like this
11 responses
@Shadorma (58)
• United States
20 Jul 09
Sometimes, I wonder if it's "natural" for men and women to find one mate forever. Some people try to get married, aren't happy and don't know why. And men's natural instinct, their survival instinct is to spread their seed around. I was married for 11.5 years, and have been single for 10 years now. So, I've experienced both ends, and still can't make up my mind. Maybe some people aren't made to be together, and some people just can't settle down with one mate, especially not forever. I do think communication is the key, you must be able to set your feelings aside and discuss any situation that arises.
@sanjana_aslam (4187)
• Malaysia
20 Jul 09
hi shadorma ..
how did you feel when you saw your husband with someone else (maybe at the beginning)
@sanjana_aslam (4187)
• Malaysia
20 Jul 09
congratulations shadorma, you have made the best choice in life .. be happy with your current life and enjoy it
cheers
@Shadorma (58)
• United States
20 Jul 09
Mmmm... well hard to remember exactly. I had mixed feelings for awhile. There were certain things in the marriage... I had to be a certain weight, couldn't perm or color my hair, couldn't paint nails, no makeup... but that's all he would check out while driving around town. Very confused at that point. Then the woman he decides to cheat on me with is very overweight, permed hair, tattoos, bad makeup, bad attitude...ugly all the way around imo. So I was mad he'd found someone, but laughed cuz she was just so ugly inside and out. That's what he gets. Now he's with someone new and not happy again. I do feel bad now, cuz everyone deserves some happiness. I have changed now, and am more self-confident, so when I am in a relationship, we talk openly about everything, it makes things go much smoother, and you get closer as a couple. listen to me, blabbing over my morning coffee!
@Daisiesndots (160)
• United States
20 Jul 09
Some times. I think that a lot of people divorce because they give up too quickly. Marriage is a lot of work, and If you dont go into it knowing that and prepared for it, your going to fail. Alot of people feel that their love has gone but really they just need to reignite it. The main thing is to never stop dating. Dont get so wrapped up in life and work that you forget to tell your spouse how much you love them and how much they mean to you. People fall in love with how that person makes them feel about themselves, so when their spouse stops giving them compliments, they dont feel special to them anymore. I think if alot of people would do these things, divorces wouldnt be so common.
@sanjana_aslam (4187)
• Malaysia
22 Jul 09
hi daisi
as you mentioned most people give up easily and do not put the extra efford to make the commitment work .. Some are too selfish that they want everything their way and forget to appreciate what the other offers
cheers
@soulist (2985)
• United States
12 Aug 09
I think there are people who are able to sustain a marriage even if they have been through a divorce. It does make you want ot be more cautious so yea some people will be on guard, but at the same time they understand their wants and needs more. I have known many people who have been through a divorce and went on to lead happy marriages with someone else.
@lazeebee (5461)
• Malaysia
22 Jul 09
Hi Sanjana, I would like to think that most divorced people would try harder to make their next marriage work. Provided that they didn't jump into the next relationship on a rebound, when they were still suffering from their failed marriages. They hope to have learned from their mistakes, and try to be wiser and more understanding, so that the next marriage works.
Going into a marriage with the preconceived ideas of future exes, is as if they are already accepting that this marriage will not work as well. They might as well not go through with it.
@maygodblessu44 (7336)
• India
9 Aug 09
Hello my friend sanjana_aslam Ji,
In our case, this discussion has no meaning as we are married since 40n yrs now and tehre is no room for such entries in our lives. We both are very much satisfied and would live till last. I wish if every couple could live fone for one basis. MaY god bless You and have a great time.
@desteny114 (886)
• United States
21 Jul 09
I have only got meried ones and that was with my daughters dad. It did not work after 4 years of being together I guess we were not ready and also he wanted to be with other and I was not happy with that. After him I lived with a guy for almost 4 years and he was almost 10 years older than me but he was posesive and he loved to know that he was stranger than me. Now I have a 1 year old baby with my partner and we have been together s little over 2 years. I hope that this time it is going to work but so far I don't see him improving and being responsable for us the way he should be. He rather be out with his friends and paying in races with his friends and when it comes to bills and food and things we need he tells me that he is trying when he should be doing something. I just hope that he those not become my future EX.
@lynettebyc (2416)
• China
21 Jul 09
I've not married yet, so strictly speaking i don't know the feeling. For me, i will try my best to find the right one, even if it takes years, it's still better than choose a wrong one at random and then divorce. Divorce will like a scar left in the heart, it can't perfectly heal. Some will be afraid of marrying as they are worried that how long this gonna last. It's great to have memory, but memory also makes us remember what have happened without selection, good and BAD.
@airakumar (1553)
• India
21 Jul 09
I don't think so because I know a person who once get married and divorced and sustaining his life with his next wedding. He is more happy than the precious one. I think this situation depends whats going on with your life. Sometimes one is very happy marrying again and sometimes one doesn't sustain with next wedding. It is totally depend on one's mind who would be happy or sad. Because everyone is unique and different. We don't know whats going on in other's life. One can thnk differently on this topic. Personally, for me, it is difficult.
@Butterfly007 (182)
• China
21 Jul 09
I think that's depends. For some people, they divorced because they had a mistake and chose a wrong mate. For this kind of people, I think they want to have a good marriage and will be careful for the next wedding. However, there are persons who just play in human world.
@maverick_tarun (52)
• India
20 Jul 09
I dnt no y ppl will marry if they dnt hve proper understanding!!! in todays generation one need 2 be very careful before taking big decisions.
