Don't be a victim.

I agree! Life is to short to hide. I think that we all have been a victem of something but that doesn't mean we have to take it. We can hold our heads up and live. These things that happen can make us who we are and strenghten us. If we allow it to, it can also destroy us. Nice topic.

I can really empathise with this, as I was also married to someone who was a heavy drinker. Although I never saw myself as a victim, it did leave me feeling trapped, with my life disappearing down the same hole my husband's was. In the end, I packed him off to a hostel to dry out, and we separated. Now I'm doing something I always wanted to do, but never felt strong enough to - write for a living. I've a long way to go yet, but I've already got a client base, and it's steadily growing. When I recently had some articles returned to me (with some quite scathing comments!) I felt such a failure - knocked down to rock bottom again. I kinda lost sight of the fact the other 99% of my work was a success! I felt the keyword inclusion they asked for was so high, it was impossible to create good copy from them. Those damn articles wore away at me for 3 weeks, then I got an email basically saying, "Well, you rewriting these, or not?" I told them to find someone else, the reply was: "Look, we admit 15% keywords was a bit high, so we made the keywords easier for you." I said someone else would be better at it, and they sent another mail saying, basically: "So Monday it is, right?" In other words, they believed in me and knew I'd do a good job, based on what I'd provided them with so far. I DID do them again, and reading through what I'd done before I realised those articles were rushed and poorly executed, keywords or no. It was my fault, not the editor's that they were returned. Splitting from my ex gave me the strength to face the knocks - something I couldn't do before. Writers have to take it on the chin, and I now realise why I didn't become a writer earlier - I couldn't face the rejection I'd receive. So I'd say I probably did see myself as a victim - because I was. Psychologically, staying with a drunk and loser tore away at my strength. He's made something of his life as well, so I guess we both needed the split!

I completely agree, those who choose to live as victims only continually victimize them selves on a day to day motion. If you choose to live as the victim and not to choose to live your life free of what ever crime has been done to you then you give you self over to the crime, and the crime becomes your life and youi will not be able to live a normal happy life until you let that crime go out of your mind and out of your life. Of course a certain amount of hurt and feelings is allowed but eventually you have to move on and get on with your life.

Very well said, MS. SUZZY. I to have been where u were but wasn't luvky enough to find a nice guy later. i'm glad u did. I didn't let it ruin my life altho i was always leary of getting my heart broken again. U can't let the bad rule your life. I feel sorry for people when they do that. The sad thing the one who does the heartbreaking goes right on to do it again & again. I'm by myself by choice but so is he because nonone could live w/him. I hope he is a lonesome old man.

There are always two choices, it is up to you which you choose. If you don't take up the challenge to change your life it will get no better. If you do the same thing each time there is trouble the results will be the same. Trouble is there to teach us lessons and we need to be able to get past the self hatred and pity, pick up our courage and go forward. You may look around and feel that others have it much easier than you do, but this is nothing but wasted energy, the life you have is what you need to deal with, blame is also useless. No one but you can better your life and once you set your mind to it, you will be amazed at the help that comes along. Have courage and faith in your strengths. Blessings

Hey thanks for your tip!! am actually going through a situation..hopefully your words help me!!!