Little Things Make Her Happy
@cookiecrumbles (629)
United States
July 21, 2009 3:14pm CST
My mom is the love of my life. At the age of 15 I never thought I of her that way. But now she is all I really have in my life. Yes I have my son, but my mom has become so important to me.
The photo below is of my son putting the ring he bought on my moms finger. This was the second ring he has bought her. He was heart broke because the first ring he got her was stolen. She was in a nursing home I really didn't like.
She had been in this place for several years. The problem started several months after she arrived there. I got my first call telling me they were taking her to the hospital. She had fallen. How could she have fallen, I wondered? She couldn't walk. She was paralyzed on the entire right side of her body! Her leg was bent in a weird way. And could not walk on it in any way. So how could she have fallen? They said she broke her hip.
So many things happened to my mom in that place that should not have. I asked them for a long time to get her bottom teeth. She did have dentures on the bottom when she got there. They broke. Instead of getting them fixed they threw them away. Well she almost choked to death. Instead of getting the teeth, they just started grinding up the food like baby food.
I complained so much they reported me to adult protective services ans said I was upsetting to my mom. I was not allowed to see her for almost two years. That was just recently. As soon as I could my mom ordered me to get her out of there.
I found out all kinds of things since I have been gone. I got my mom a lawyer named 'sue'! I am gonna sue them for every penny she paid into that place.
I found out that her eye doctor ordered glasses 3 years in a row and they never followed his orders. She now has muscular degeneration really bad. Regardless of anything I have to say about that other place. They did neglect her by not following the doctors orders to get eye glasses. I am so mad. How could they take her social security check every month and not get her glasses?
4 people like this
18 responses
@mtdewgurl74 (18151)
• United States
22 Jul 09
I think I would have tried to disguise myself somehow and went and seen my mom..I mean..that wasn't right..they know if you knew something was wrong you would make trouble for them not your mom..that place needs shut down. I am sorry for the trauma your mom went through there. They mistreated her unfairly by not getting her the things she needs like her teeth and her glasses that is neglect. And it shouldn't be looked over as it was nothing..SO I hope this lawyer gets your mom alot of money so she can find a place that will treat her right.
2 people like this
@cookiecrumbles (629)
• United States
23 Jul 09
It is very hard to disguise me at that time at 400 pounds in a wheelchair with my leg on a leglift jetting out straight in front of me 3 feet. Everyone thinks it was would have been so easy for them to have done something. But not knowing me and my physical handicap you have no idea what I was going through! I went through hell. My son was able to go out and see her. And we did get to see her on the holidays only. Until people have walked a mile in someone else shoes they have no right casting stones! The lawyer does nothing by senior abuse. We are going for a million dollars plus.
1 person likes this
@LetranKnight25 (33121)
• Philippines
23 Jul 09
We can always do make up for our loved ones until their time has come. so, make more time with her so that she would be more happy. i did serve my grandpa 
by assisting him when ever has trouble walking, he was on the stage of dying, i felt bad when he die but the worst part is that i didn't cry.
@bing28 (3795)
• Philippines
22 Jul 09
Oh my, I really could feel how you do for your mom. Here we are taking care of our elders, only those who don't have relatives are being placed in home for the aged. Imagine you did'nt see her for two years? I could imagine how your mom missed you. I just hope everything would be okey, wish you'll have the precious times with your mom together.
2 people like this
@marcyyyy (517)
• United States
23 Jul 09
Hi cookie, I'm so sorry to hear about everything that happened to you mom. How awful!! You should've reported that home to the ombudsman. They take care of all the homes and need to know what's going wrong in them. I can't believe they kept you away for 2 years!!! They're the problem, not you!! My mom had macular degeneration too, and she was in assisted living. She had it before she was there. Nothing that bad ever happend to her. My husband's mom & uncle are in a wonderful nursing home that treat the residents right. I hope you win your lawsuit, and I hope your mom is more comfortable now. She's so lucky to have you and your son. Marcy
1 person likes this
@cookiecrumbles (629)
• United States
24 Jul 09
I have the lawyer reporting them to everyone we can!
@happy6162 (3001)
• United States
22 Jul 09
I do not understand how nursing homes can get away with not taking care of the older people who need their help. they seem to have no problem taking everything from that person but do not want to help them as long as they get their money. i hope the lawyer you have sues for everything she can. there also needs to be an investigation on the nursing home and some of the people running it need to be fired. hopeful the new personnel will be better and help the patients that are in their care instead of just take advantage of them.
2 people like this
@doglady112 (604)
• Canada
22 Jul 09
That sounds like elder abuse, I'm so sorry that happened to your mom. I wish I was that close to my own mom, you should feel very lucky that you still have your mom. Maybe try to find a way to let your anger pass too. It won't get you anywhere and you should enjoy the time that you have with your mom.
@cookiecrumbles (629)
• United States
23 Jul 09
Thank you doglady 112 for your response. And I will do the best I can to keep it together while waiting for a distraction. You know my mind just as soon as we start the trial. Trust me it will make the papers! They will hate the day they said yes to bringing her in as a patient.
@GardenGerty (160777)
• United States
22 Jul 09
If they broke her teeth they were obligated to get them repaired, that is abuse as well. Depending on her mental state, she could have fallen from her bed and broken her hip. That is indeed possible and I know that for a fact.They could not order bed rails without a doctor documenting that it was "medically necessary" as that is considered unlawful restraint, even if it was for her own good. So that is possible, but the dentures and the glasses are in themselves neglect.
1 person likes this
@cookiecrumbles (629)
• United States
22 Jul 09
I had asked the home several times to get the siderails for her bed because she was a fall risk because of the stroke. I wrote a letter to the doctor asking. They had left her unattended in the wheelchair and she needed to get to a toilet to go to the bathroom. The girl went for a wash cloth. So they said. there was always some kind of excuse. It was BS!
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
22 Jul 09
Oh my!!!! It is sad to hear that, but it speaks volumes. Nursing homes can come with the best recommendations but it's only when we have someone we care for in one of them that we realize how badly people are treated in many of them.
Hubby's grandma was in one. It had such nice reviews - done probably by them and not the people that had to be there.
Grandma had Alzheimers and often wouldn't eat and spit out the food if we tried to give it to her.They would just take the food to her and if she didn't eat they would send it back. That was it. She could have starved there for all they cared. They would take ages to change her diapers and if we didn't go there to feed her and change her those things would not be done regularly.
Thankfully we took her back home. She passed away last year, but at least she was eating and being changed and cleaned properly.
Like your mom, they were taking all her pension, and doing nothing for her. She had a huge bladder infection and they only called the doctor after we complained and complained.
Not good.
1 person likes this
@cookiecrumbles (629)
• United States
22 Jul 09
I will know soon enough how good this place is. After my kidney surgery, I am being transferred to her new place for two weeks. I will be sharing her room with her for that time. I could have stayed at the hospital rehab, but I know my mom will enjoy the time.
1 person likes this
@ShirleyBillingsley (1544)
• United States
21 Jul 09
That is just ridiculous, as to how they treated your mom. You should have been taking notes, and pictures during the whole process. At least you can prove by the doctor that the prescriptions were never filled. You need to find a lawyer that will take everything he can from them, and hopefully shut them down.
@cookiecrumbles (629)
• United States
22 Jul 09
Ih trust me I have been keeping records. And all the clothing that I bought her while she was in that awful place is nowhere in the clothing she has now! I have kept all the reciepts of what I bought. Yes, I will sue, and shut them down.
@dasiejanie (590)
• United States
22 Jul 09
This makes me sooo mad, angry, and sick to my stomach!!!!!! As I read your post my teeth were clenched I feel so sad for tour Mom.
Those places are NOT the answer, unless your able to be there all day long and make sure your loved one is getting the care they need
food, meds, baths, all that they need daily. Because if no ones watching... Alot of times it dosent happen.
I know there are times when that's the only choice but if that's so you have GOT to b there as much as possible. I worked
at one for a year and it broke my heart. I could tell story after story but I'm not. Just know it was horrible.
1 person likes this
@tamarafireheart (15384)
•
22 Jul 09
Hi cookie,
That would have made me go reall mad with these people, how dare they treat your mother like that, all they were intrested wa her money, I would sue the pants of them and forced it to close the place down or to have new management, this is not on, your poor mother, we never put our mother in a nursing home,she won't go to one anyway and she lived wit my elder sister till she passed 7 years ago.
Tamara
1 person likes this
@cookiecrumbles (629)
• United States
22 Jul 09
Well it was not my choice, believe me. I cry my eyes out feeling I let her down as the oldest child. But being the oldest and only one left and very sick myself I had no choice. The doctors placed her there for rehab right after her stroke. They were suppose to be helping her get better. If they had given her all the rehab they should have she would be up and walking again. But she says she was kept so doped up she can't remember anything.
@Opal26 (17679)
• United States
22 Jul 09
Hey cookie! I sure hope you have a very good lawyer because
you sure have some serious grounds for a lawsuit! How could
they charge you with upsetting your own mother and keep you
away from her for two years? Why didn't you fight them then?
Why would you let them get away with that for two years when
you didn't do anything wrong? I'm not understanding how if
you knew your mother was being so badly abused you could even
let that continue on for a few months let alone two years!
And now you are first going to sue them? What are you not
telling us? Why would you wait till now to sue these people
for neglect and abuse after waiting two years?
1 person likes this
@cookiecrumbles (629)
• United States
22 Jul 09
This state is so screwed up with there laws, they threatened to put me in jail for interfering with the wellbeing of my mother. Since they were the nursing home they believed them and not me. My mom was afraid to say anything for fear of getting hurt any worse. She had her own power of attorney. And when I was finally allowed to see her again she asked me to find a place near where I lived and asked for a transferee. I had to pretend to be sweet and nice to the other home. Until the day before we were ready for here to move. They had no idea.
@Lakota12 (42600)
• United States
21 Jul 09
BEcasue they want you to pay for them as they call thayt extra! above the payment they receive.
My brother even had to buy mom s depends extra drinks every thing extra had to be paid for or bought by him
and this assistant place she lives in now cost alot more than the other one and they even charge for putting her night clothes on if she cant do it.
1 person likes this
@AmbiePam (93317)
• United States
22 Jul 09
That is horrible. A neighbor of mine took in her ex-husband because the people taking care of him in the Veterans Hospital stole everything he had, including cash money. He has Alzheimer's (however you spell it), so they knew nothing just by talking to him on the phone. His kids came to see him and discovered what had gone on. They couldn't take him in (I don't know why) so his ex-wife (mother of his kids) said he could live with her.
I'm so glad your mom has you.
1 person likes this
@scarlet_woman (23463)
• United States
22 Jul 09
some homes are horrendous.my mom worked for one briefly that was so bad,she quit.
and reported them.
she said the people had huge bed sores,this one poor lady had her hair up and untended so long when my mom took it down to wash it,she had a bald spot.
the RN's would make the care nurses do work that wasn't legal for them to be doing.
the state finally came in and closed that place down on numerous violations.
she said it was even worse if the person had no living family.
best thing to do usually is take pictures when they're not looking and go straight to the police.let them try calling APS.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (167429)
• Boise, Idaho
22 Jul 09
Hello dearie. I am so sorry to hear of your adventure with the nursing home. You are so right to sue them. My mother was in one before she passed away but it was a very nice place and she was well taken care of. I remember complaining one time because my mom was very particular about her food and she wanted butter not margarine. That was the only problem I had. After reading your story I feel very fortunate.
1 person likes this
