Co-workers : are they your friends, acquaintances or just someone to work with

People you work with are just that.We use to go to the bars all the time to at lunch. This was our common ground. Its funny as we age how different we look at people. Everybody at work thought I was so mean...... Only to find out ,its just the opposite, so work or not never judge a book by its cover.

Maybe they have bond already even before you enter the company. I think there are companies who are really like that and we can't blame them if they have drinking sessions every Friday. Maybe that makes them bond. Do not force yourself to join them if you really don't like it. I have been connected with a company who have the same people as you do and since I no longer drink if they invite me I don't join them and I don't feel bad about it because I respect their form of relaxation and I also thank them for respecting my decision of not joining them. In this instance it is still best that we execute our job well and do not focus on other social activities outside work. Happy myloting.

I am very much like you. Actually with a few exceptions I have not ever made any special friendships at work. I remember being more of less in the same situation with the parties and all those things that they had in common with each other, but I didn't share. Sure I will go to the 2 or 3 parties a year that we always have at school, if I'm available. But I don't usually share the weekly get togethers. Like you I am not being mean or anything, but that's not exactly my main form of entertainment and I don't need to prove anything. If I can go or if I want to go, I will show up, but don't make it a "every time " kind of thing. I am friendly at work, and treat everyone nicely. I am helpful and open in my place of work. HOwever, they are colleagues, co-workers, people that I know because I work with them. No necessarily people that I would choose for friends. I don't need to be best friends with everybody I know or work with. I might even like them, but I am not required to be friends.

Well, I consider my co-workers as my friends though we don't hang out on Fridays. What's common with us is we all are passionate with our jobs. Teaching, does not look like a job for us. It is something we all want to do.

To me, there is a difference between being friendly with your co-workers, and being friends with your co-workers. I worked at a place liek this, wehre it seemed like everyone were best buds, went out every pay day for drinks at the bar, etc. But i never joined in, and i think it is a good thing too. As i worked their longer, i realized that there was always drama popping up in the work place that made it hard to get work done and maintain professional relationships between these people. Thir outside lives were so entertwined with their work lives that if two of them had a disagreement at the bar over the weekend, they wouldn't be able to work well with eachother come monday. I also often saw people getting preffered treatment over others, or not getting spoken to at work about poor performance, just because these people were friends outside of the work place. None of this was coducive to getting the work accomplished that we needed to do in order to get paid, and was not fair to those of us who were part of this "clique" as we generally had to work harder to make up for the others who were getting away with not doing anything. Now in my current work environment, where i have now been employed for nine years, i have made some friends who i hang out with outside of the work place on occasion, and there is a group of girls i work with who gets together maybe once every couple of months to go out to dinner and chat, but it is not on a "best buds" type of level. It also helps that where i work now, there are far more employees, and many of us who do hang out together out side of the work place do not even work together in the same area, so it does not cause these types of problems. I have also found that now that i have worked my way up into a management at my job, i am less likely to go out, or hang out, outside of the work place with my fellow employees. I just feel that fraternizing too much with them makes it more difficult to be a leader. I don't ever want to put myself in a position where i have to reprimand someone at work, but would feel awkward about doing so as we are friends outside of work. This is not to say that if i go out with my other friends or my boyfriend and i run into someone i work with i am going to snub them and not say hi, or sit and have a drink with them, but i am just particular about how much i let my hair down around them.

There is no boundary here to what co-workers can become. Some marry each other. Some become your closest friend. Some just stick to hi and bye. So, it really depends. With my colleagues, I build a bond of trust. We become a source of depency on each other for support. They make them my friends.

Deb, you are like me. I do like some of the people I work with, but not well enough to hang out with. Like your establishment, these people are frequent drinkers. I am not. Another thing, they are all into sales parties, or fundraising for things I have no interest in. I am working hard hour after hour to get out of debt and I have a house buried in useless stuff. I do not need these things. I do not need to buy donuts or any food stuff, I am fat. They basically can read me, and do not invite me, and that is a good thing.

i dont see my co-workers socially much, certainly not after work. one co-worker and i facebook each other and another one and i visit socially once in awhile but thats it. thats not to say that we are not friends, but we just have a lot on our plates.

I currently work from home. So this situation doesn't apply any longer. However, previously I had a few acquaintances. I had one friend outside of work. We went to dinner, and each others houses. Movies as well on occasion. But after a time, when I left the office the friendshipp petered out. Seems we had the office in common, only.

I work at a very small firm. I have 4 other co-workers who are like family. I've been working there for 29 years and the "newest" one has been there for 18 years. We've been with each other through ups and downs, good and bad times and it seems we are always there for each other. Sure sometimes we argue and fight, but like with any other family, we still care for each other very much.

Some of them are my friends but some are just someone to work with. actually, it depends to them if they want to be my friend. In the company that I'm working, there are 2 of my officemate are same age as me while the others are older than us. It is very hard to be friends with the people who are 5 years older than my age because their likes are different from mine especially their moods. I can deal with them and be friends but sometimes it seems I can't understand what they really want. Of course, I need to respect them since they are older than me. I'm trying my best to be friends to all of the people in our office because I want to have a good communication and relationship with them.

I would consider each person individually. The people I work with range from 19-60 and have a wide range of interests. There is no-one I dislike but there are some that I enjoy working with more than others. I am not much of a drinker either, partly because I am the main driver in my family and because my financial position doesn't allow spending on 'luxuries' like entertainment. Consequently, I dont go out socialising much with anyone but there are a few colleagues that I meet with outside work.

Hey Debs! You are so right in what you are saying! I have had so many jobs where I have been in the very same position! And after I was no longer at the jobs I never heard from any of my co-workers again! It is all a bunch of s!it! It is just a stupid excuse to go out drinking! Some of the co-workers are married and just need an excuse to get out so they say they are going out with the people from work! Yeah right! I have so many miserable memories about this very thing! You are right if you don't want to be a part of this nonsense! That is all it really is! It has nothing to do with work and if you weren't working there you would never hear from these people again!

my co-workers are my friends as i love doing friendship with whom u have to spend some part of my day regularly ..

Given a different circumstances, I could have been friends with them, but right now as they are my co-workers, I try as much as possible to let our relationship be that way-co workers and acquaintances. Neither am I hypocritical, if I don't like a person I don't make an effot to like him/her. If that person does not like me, who cares? My officemates have also this weird habit of going to sale, treating everyone for lunch just because your loan was approved, gossiping about other co-workers. I can keep up with them, I can tolerate them but sometimes it's kinda tiring. Another thing is co-worker often competes with you because of salary increases and promotions, so I wonder how can I be friends with these people if they are my competitor. So if its friends that you want, don't look for it in the office. Look somwhere else.

Where I work, in our department at least, there are a couple 'groups' that do the partying, drinking, hanging out thing outside of work. Then there are a few who have nothing to do with anyone, then there's the 'group' I seem to be in = hand ful of us who talk a lot at work, email or call occasionally at home, don't really 'hangout' but pretty much know what's going on with each other.

Hi Debs, I prefer to keep work and personal life separate. So even though I remain friendly with my colleagues, I opt to stay out of after-office activities with them, like shopping, movies, holidays or partying.(unless they are organised by the company).

I consider co-workers are just somebody wo work with and see everyday when I go to work, I don't really like to make "friends" with them if I don't need to, or socilaize with them for that matter. Remember there was a management manager was very passionate to me and always tried to go out with me, I refused couple times because of family stuff and this and that; I think she was trying to be friendly to me and she always wanted to know where I always go and shopping and stuff... that was so weird because I was a new staff and she was the manager so she always came and talked to me about my clothes and stuff... she was being too too kind and made me feel a little awkward...

I really wish I had never become friends with my co-workers. Most of this is because my husband use to work at the same place. He is more outgoing. There are 4 people that work in the department where he use to work. I only talk to one of those people now. Actually, he comes & talks to me & I wish he wouldn't. One of the guys is the reason my husband quit his job, so I don't talk to him. Then the other 2 we use to be friends with & had a falling out & we no longer speak. There is another couple at work that we occasionally hang out with. You really have to watch how to act or what you say because it can come back to bite you in the behind!

Well, for me, I would do my best make friend with my workmate,but not everyone can be your friend, and for those who can be your friends you should get along well with them all the time, but for those can't you should keep a distance from them.