Do you get better sleep when you are alone in bed, or when you are sharing it?

United States
July 23, 2009 10:42pm CST
A question for all you mylotters out there. Do you feel you get better quality sleep when you have the bed to yourself, or when you are sharing it with your loved one? I have heard differing opinions from many friends, some say they sleep better alone when they can stretch out and take up as much room as they want, while others say they just can't sleep with out their loved one being in bed next to them. I personally am torn on this issue. I have a much harder time falling asleep when my loved one is not in bed next to me, as it is comforting and nice to cuddle with him, and the feeling of safeness and love are calming to me, yet i sometimes feel i get better quality sleep when i am in bed by myself. When i am by myself i can stretch out, and my body can be more comfortable during slumber, and my boyfriend and i have very differnt body temperature requirements while sleeping. I sleep better when i am on the cool side, with just a light blanket covering me most nights, whereas he likes to be on the other extreme, very warm when he sleeps. This causes problems not only in the sharing of the blanket on the bed, but because his body temperature gets so high at night that it makes it very hard for me to be comfortable sleeping while cuddled against him! though in the winter when it is too chilly for even me, it is nice, like my own little personal heater *l* I supose maybe the solution for me is just to get a bigger bed, one where i can stretch out and be comfortable with out me being to warm and uncomfortable to sleep due to being so close to him, yet we are both in the same bed and i can feel good about that.
8 people like this
32 responses
@Sweeten (159)
• United States
24 Jul 09
I personally sleep much better by myself in my own bed. I just dont have to worry about rolling over on some1 or hitting them in my sleep. I sleep talk and occasionally sleep walk so its better that im in my own room without anyone else. Id prefer sleeping by myself unless i HAD to sleep with some1 else.
2 people like this
• United States
24 Jul 09
Wow, i think i would get freaked out if i were a sleepwalker. Do you ever wake up, not in your bed, and start wondering just how you got to wherever you wund up, or what even possessed you to get out of bed in the first place?
@lelin1123 (15595)
• Puerto Rico
24 Jul 09
I definitely get a better night sleep when I sleep alone. I can move around and not be bothered by anyone especially their snoring. I'm a very light sleeper so any type of movement or noise from the other person I would wake up. As for temperature of the room I like it comfortable where as my boyfriend likes to have a fan on during the spring and summer. The fan bothers me big time where I feel I can't breath at times because my nose gets stuffy.
@glesil_00 (1142)
• Philippines
24 Jul 09
Like you i much prefer alone when sleeping because of freedom to move around although i am not that kind of person in bed that keeps on turning like a clock. I can also sleep with someone but i am not too comfortable because i am just self conscious if i am disturbing the sleep of the other because there are night i keep waking up drinking water.
1 person likes this
• United States
24 Jul 09
That does pose a problem, stuffy noses are certainly not conducive to a good nights sleep! Luckily i am the type of person who can sleep through just about anything (other than my alarm clock, i have conitioned myself to wake up to that noise) so as long as i fall asleep, noises from another person don't disturb me. It is only when i go through one of my occasional bouts where i have relly hard times falling asleep that the movements or noises of my boyfriend bother me.
@Ithink (9980)
• United States
25 Jul 09
I totally have a better sleep with my husband in bed with me. Not only am I comfortable, I fall asleep faster. If I feel like stretching out I can as he just moves over some. We also only have a double bed but we find it quite big for us. I have had to sleep alone when he was out of town for work and I took forever to fall asleep and didnt sleep good at all. Give me my S/O all the time!
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Jul 09
Couples do have a way of finding the positions and ways of sharing a bed that are most comfortable for everyone, don't they? Sleeping alone, even if you sleep better, is not worth being withough your significant other, that is for sure.
25 Jul 09
i go to sleep better alone than to be with someone with me, as of now. because i dream to be with someone, that is, my beloved husband in my universe. he is my world. i love him so much. who would he be? haha....pretense! oohhh, but may god have me a loving godly physically healthy, wealthy husband and children also and me to them also. hhhhuuuhhhh,,,, ilovegod so much. i just cant wait for him to bless me in my life of where i would have everything in normal dangerously glamorous and safe nature! till then! leyen
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Jul 09
Well, best wishes on your quest to find the perfect husband! I hope once you do, you get plenty of good sleep while sharing the same bed!
• United States
24 Jul 09
I do sleep wayy better at night when i am sleeping next to my hunnie! It's harder when it's the summer, like it is now, because it gets all sweaty, but nonetheless, i sleep way better through the night when im wrapped in his arms =] I think maybe if we, too, had a bigger bed, it would be more comfortable for us both, but neither of us sleep better without the other.
1 person likes this
• United States
24 Jul 09
Yes, it is hard to find that happy medium when two people have totally different sleeping requirements. Oh, the things we will sacrifice in the name of love....yes...i am definately thinking a king sized bed is in order for me, and maybe for you too! Or maybe at least a fan for your bedroom!
• United States
24 Jul 09
Definately! Im gonna go out and buy a really big fan.. or move to alaska for the summer =p
1 person likes this
@rosepedal64 (4188)
• United States
25 Jul 09
Oh WOW are trying to get me into trouble? I have a husband and I will answer this before he walks into the room. LOL No really back to honesty. I really enjoy sleeping with my husband. We are cuddlers. When it time to fall asleep I lay on my side with his arm around me. But later we seem to wake up apart. I think during the sleep process we either get too warm or need a little space. He use to work out of town and I got use to sleeping alone(all over the bed) and when he came home it was real nice to cuddle again,but we did have some issues about being too warm laying so close. We had to get use to the cuddles all over again. But I still love him.
• United States
26 Jul 09
No no, not trying to get anyone in trouble *lol*...though i did have to explain my answer to my boyfriend as well ("No sweetie..i really DO love having you in bed....i just feel i get a more restful nights sleep when i have the bed to myself...no..that doesn't mean i want you to sleep on the couch....i can't get to sleep well if you are not there...i love cuddling with you and miss you when you aren't around")
@flagella08 (5065)
• Philippines
24 Jul 09
i don't have any problem about getting sleep anywhere and with anyone. infact i can sleep even when im just standing or leaning to some stuff. i am always thankful that i don't have any trouble with my sleeping pattern too.
1 person likes this
• United States
24 Jul 09
That must be really nice! It reminds me of the little kids i see in the store i work at a lot. A parent will walk by, and their child will be sitting in the cart just sleeping away with their head resting against the side of the basket, or on the hndle of the cart. I always look a them and think how envious i am that if they are tired, they can just fall asleep anywhere. Just don't fall asleep while you are driving, ok?
@mikeysmom (2088)
• United States
24 Jul 09
i sleep much better alone in bed and that is how i prefer it. i need my sleep and i sleep very lightly so any noise or movement wakes me up and then i have a tough time falling asleep. also i cannot stand having anyone that close to me while i sleep because i get too warm and i cannot sleep when it is warm.
1 person likes this
• United States
24 Jul 09
I know the feeling. If it is too warm i just can't get comfortable, i feel like i am sticking to the bed! Do you do the "temperature control" thing as well? where if you start getting a little warm, all of a sudden *pop* out comes one of your feet or your entire leg (depending on how hot it is) from under the blankets to regulate your temperature?
@lazeebee (5461)
• Malaysia
24 Jul 09
I sometimes complain that he takes up too much of the bed; however I still prefer to have my hubby with me. Sometimes when he's out of town or overseas, I would lie awake, hearing noises (imagination?)in the house. Most probably these noises have been there all the time, but without him around, I tend to imagine rats, thieves, ghosts.....so on.
• United States
24 Jul 09
That is precisly what i was getting at when i commented that i feel safer when he is in bed with me. When i am alone in bed, all of a sudden every little creak sounds ominous...the cats tearing around the house at night sound so much louder, and too big to be just the cats...
@wahmivy (776)
• Philippines
24 Jul 09
I definitely get better sleep alone, but we co-sleep and I won't have it any other way. Sometimes though since I sleep between my daughter and my husband, I end up with about 5 inches of space, lol.
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Jul 09
that does make it diffucult to sleep, having that little amount of space. But the comfort of resting with lovedones can be worth it.
@machizmo (279)
• United States
24 Jul 09
Who I am sleeping in bed with determines if I get any sleep or not. If they snore or not. Also if they wiggle around in the bed all night. If they are like that, I get better sleep when I am alone in bed but if they are not like that having a person to sleep in bed makes the bed warm.
1 person likes this
• United States
24 Jul 09
Yes, a warm body to snuggle up to on chilly winter nights is always an enjoyable thing. But a wiggler? that i don't think i could stand. My boyfriend tends to be a it of a bed hog at times, and that can get frustrating and annoying as well. All of a sudden i will wake up in the middle of the night and i am all but falling off the edge of the bed cause he just kept snuggling over to my side! Often times there is enough space to put a whole other person on the OTHER side of him, but there i am, gripping on for dear life trying not to get shoved to the floor *lol*
@aschip (166)
• India
24 Jul 09
I used to sleep alone before marriage and in fact I liked to sleep alone. But 4 years into my wedded life, I can not sleep if my wife is not there besides me. Whenever she visits her parents and stays there, I usually do not get sleep till 1 or 2 am in the night. Somehow I don't feel comfortable. Its not as if we are cuddly sleepers or something. But no matter how sleepy I am, I can not sleep alone any more, that easily!
• United States
24 Jul 09
After a while you do become so accustomed to haveing that person beside you that it becomes difficult doesn't it? I usually wind up staying up way too late when i have to go to bed alone as well. It is like i force my self to stay up until i can hardly keep my eyes open, that way hopefully as soon as my head hits the pillow i will pass out, and not lay there tossing and turning just because he's not there.
• New Zealand
24 Jul 09
I toss and turn all night and then as soon as my partner gets up in the morning, he gets up about an hour before I do, then I stretch out and have the best sleep for the next hour - go figure!
1 person likes this
• United States
24 Jul 09
Sounds like you are in the same predicament i am in, where you just need to get bigger bed so you can be stretched out all of the time! My boyfriend and i don't live together, he actually lives in the next state over, but we do go back and forth living "part time" at the others house. when he has to go back home after staying with me for a week or more, but i have to stay here as i have to work i am always so sad to see him go, but i do find that though it may take me a little longer to finaly fall asleep, i do sleep better when he is gone.
• Philippines
24 Jul 09
Its nice to sleep at bed when your sharing it to your love. I dont know why but its been months I have been away from my love one because of work I need to live in countryside. I really miss not my bed but the one I love. I am longing to hug him and just lie there at bed embracing her so tight. Whew now answering this post makes me feel more missing her. I want to go home and be with her
1 person likes this
• United States
24 Jul 09
Awww..i am sorry...i didn't mean to make you sad by making you think about missing your loved one! I hope you get to at least go on a visit and see her soon, if not be together for good again in the near future.
@psphacker (1053)
• United States
24 Jul 09
I get better sleep when I am alone in my bed but when I get a girlfriend I will get better sleep when I am sharing my or her bed.
1 person likes this
• United States
24 Jul 09
tank you for your response, and happy sleeping. Hope you find that special someone soon so you can sleep better.
@ds6413 (2070)
• United States
24 Jul 09
Hello, I can sleep either way. When I am alone I can keep the television on for how ever long i like but when my b/f gets back home he needs to sleep with no television.I also prefer having the window open instead of shut but he likes the window shut.Since it has been hot lately he doesn't mind right now if I keep the window open.
1 person likes this
• United States
24 Jul 09
I am the same way! When he is not here i fall asleep to the tv. I generally turn on the "sleep timer" mode and set it to turn off in like an hour though, otherwise it sometimes will wake me up in the middle of the night. But my boyfriend does not sleep with the TV on, and when he is up i don't need it on either, as we will lay in bed and talk for a bit until we fall asleep, or even if we don't just the comfort of him being there allows me to fall asleep even if it is silent.
@marguicha (223021)
• Chile
24 Jul 09
I liked sleeping in the same bed as my husband all the years of our marriage. There was a sort of ritual in how we cuddled. It has been difficult to sleep alone now that I am a widow. It has been a long time but I still use half of the bed Take care!!!
1 person likes this
• United States
24 Jul 09
I am sorry for your loss, but thank you so much for sharing! I think i kind of know how you feel. I went for years sleeping with my (now ex) husband, then when he and i split apart, it took me a very long time to get used to sleeping on my own again.
@busky5 (3164)
• Thailand
24 Jul 09
I used to sleep with another than alone.For me i can sleep well both.If i can select i like to sleep alone more because i can not listen the snoring of another.
1 person likes this
• United States
24 Jul 09
Snoring can be bothersome! My boyfriend snores very loudly sometimes, but other times he is quiet. I think a lot of it depends on the position he is in when sleeping. Many times if he is snoring and it bothers me, i can get him to stop (at least long enough for me to fall asleep) by gently pushing him to roll over on his side or something.
• United States
24 Jul 09
I am a type of person that is very easy to sleep. I do not mind to sleep alone or share my bed with someone else. If I know that person, it is gonna be fine. If that person is totally a stranger, I would prefer to sleep alone or sleep on the couch instead of sharing bed with him or her. That will freak me out.
1 person likes this
@cabz360 (41)
• United States
24 Jul 09
personally, i like to share my bed with someone... ...i actually dont prefer sleeping alone i guess i kinda got use to it as a child sharing a bed with my siblings, cousins, mom and dad so i feel more comfortable and less lonely when someone else i'm close to is sleeping beside me... i dont really care much about being able to stretch since i usually sleep very still and quiet...z Zz
1 person likes this