How low can you go?
By kaitlyn_r1
@kaitlyn_r1 (42)
United States
July 24, 2009 9:27pm CST
Honestly, how low can life put you? Here's the thing, I just broke up with my long term boyfriend, and now... I feel as if I had made the most horrid mistake of my life. He was being a complete bonehead and all.. he even cheated on me.. so I ended it when I found out that the girl he was cheating on me with, was my supposed "Best friend". Now, I feel like a complete failure, not only as a gf, but as a human being. Why? Because now I think that I'm not good enough.. that my bf had to go out and get another. Maybe that's just me.. but it makes me feel low. I know that it could just be blamed on him, and the deal's done, well, that's not how I work. I do think, that I did something wrong without realizing it.. but then again.. I would have caught myself. I am causious. Sure I speak my mind, but with him, I was different. Most of my friends say that I turned into someone that they thought I would never become when I was with him. I just dedicated my full attention to him.. huh.. big mistake. Now, I am missing him like crazy. Even after all he did to me.. I still miss him and feel like I need him to go on in life. Is that right? Should I be feeling such emotion? I swear, I'm about to give up on love all together. But now I think back, at everything that he said to me.. all the comments.. cute names.. all the love and I can't help but think.. Was that all a lie or an act? Or... could it have been real? We were together for almost 9 months.. and I feel like all that time we've been together.. was he with that other girl then too? Was he leading me on, only to find a flaw in me, or to get tired of me and just move on to her? Did she know he was with me, and cheating on her? I can't help but wonder what goes through guys' minds when they cheat... even girls. I could never understand why someone would cheat on the other. You're supposed to be in love.. but then again what is "Love"? I haven't felt this down in a long time.. and he asured me that he would never hurt me.. psh, yeah right! Lies, was everything just a lie???? Ugh! This drives me insane! I feel so mad at myself for leting him go. I still love him with all that I am. Why do I love someone that has hurt me so badly?? I guess life just really doesn't like me.. Either that, or I need to chose a better man in the future. How can life be so complicated?
1 person likes this
10 responses
@norrisl4 (65)
• Zimbabwe
25 Jul 09
I am suprised by your stance. Someone cheats on you and you blame yourself. Learn to like yourself first and build your self esteem. Find happiness from within and do not rely on other people to make you happy.You take him again and he cheats again and this time around you will be depressed beyond repair.
@vzerocool (76)
• Philippines
25 Jul 09
Life....some say Life is like a game,you must know how to play with it.Some says Life is like a weather, there is rainy,sunny season and stormy season.Even Forrest Gump says "Life is like a box of chocolate,you'll never know what you gonna get"...
But for me Life is simple..u make a choice and never look back..Keep on moving...
@ladym33 (10979)
• United States
25 Jul 09
I am going to be very blunt here, and it is only because I care. The guy is a jerk. No make that a JERK. The guy cheated on you, and not only did he cheat on you he did it with a friend of yours. That makes him the biggest jerk of all. It also entitles you to some hurt because you have been betrayed by not only one person you cared about but 2. The guy has no morals what so ever. Don't spend another moment of your life wasting your feelings on this guy. There are other fish in the sea. Go out and find one who will be true to you and love you. You did nothing wrong in this situation. He is the one who did wrong. Now if you sit around and pine for him then you are losing out, and punishing yourself. Don't do that to yourself. Move on and get over that huge jerk.
@sblossom (2168)
•
25 Jul 09
don't worry. it happenes with everyone.
you can't say how long you can deal with a person, if it's short, it means he or she is not yours. if at last you find the one really belongs to you then you will can last longer, even for ever.
our life is a long way to learn how to deal with people, including to find your another half. if some one just found in the beginning so he/she is lucky, but most of us need to use more time to find the one.
i used more than 30 years to find the one who loves me and also i love him, not very lucky, but at least i found it. not too bad. now the relationship last more than 5 years, still works very well.
@girl13from13mars (100)
• Philippines
25 Jul 09
Let go and move forward without looking back. Think about it as the only way. It's better to be lost than to stay and be broken and die over and over again. Of course, tt's extremely painful to let go of the person you imagined to be with forever. But when things aren't going well and don't bring smiles no more then you have to tell yourself to stop and move forward without him. If he seriously wants to be with you, he should be the one to seriously find a way. Don't blame yourself.
@starlight70 (316)
• Malaysia
25 Jul 09
Let go of him. He is not worth it. I think this is a good life experience for you, so that you are better in handling future relationship. As said, cheat on me once, shame on you. Cheat on me twice, shame on me.
Of course it is normal to think of him and miss him. It is that you did have some good times with him. But that does not give him the right to cheat on you. Tell you what. When you miss him, think of the ways he had treated you. Feel the anger. It is easier to let go.
@sugarfloss (2139)
• Malaysia
25 Jul 09
Hey there kaitlyn_r1. Hope you're feeling better.Don't let a man put you down. His loss for leaving you. Men do not think, they just do. That explains most of the things they say or do. I've had men cheat on me. You'll get over it, sooner or later. Hang in there kaitlyn. Hope this helps:)
@spalladino (17891)
• United States
25 Jul 09
First of all, not to minimize your pain, but you're very young and this guy wasn't "the one" you are destined to spend your life with. At your age relationships don't normally last long and that's as it should be. How do you know who you're supposed to spend your life with, what kind of person you're most compatable with, if you don't go out with different people? And stop projecting the actions and shortcomings of others onto yourself. You are not responsible for the actions of your ex boyfriend or your ex best friend. At your age, friendships are fluid...they change. This is how you gain life experience. Sure, you feel down...you're supposed to feel down...so let yourself go through the process and watch how you come out stronger and wiser on the other side. You have a lot of growing and changing to do before you find your true self so give yourself time. Give the guys you meet time to grow and change, too. Life can be very complicated but, remember this...every obstacle you overcome, every pain and every disappointment you get over, makes you stronger and wiser. Be kind to yourself.
@blue65packer (11826)
• United States
25 Jul 09
You are better off withou this jerk! You did the right thing! It is normal thinking it was all your fault! Believe me I have been there,more then once! Get on with your life and realize alot of people go through what you are going through!You will get through this and be a better person then you are now! You know I think men cheat for a lot of reasons! They don't care! They think it is exciting! Men who cheat are jerks,pigs,idiots,dumb,stupid,immature and are thinking with their pants,not with their heads! I have given up on men but it doesn't mean you have to! Take your time and you never know,your someone is out there! Take care!
@wigima5 (904)
• United States
25 Jul 09
AWwww. I feel so bad for youuu. *HUG HUG HUUUUGG*
What I say is FORGET HIM. If a guy leaves you and does all those horrible things to you he is heartlesss and a leech and he does NOT deserve you! =D
And guys are stupid. There ARE good ones out there, but remember one thing: guys think with their special friend down under. :P (u kno wat i mean) So that's why SO many cheat on their gf's because unlike females who think with their brains they see a hot girl and they turn into animals and their brains no longer function. And NO tat doesnt mean ur ugly, just tat guys dont do very well with commitment and when they see something new and different and their special friend is excited too then they go for it. They think oh! i might as well just try this other person! cuz maybe i like them more than the person im with, pssh the other person will never find out.
And PLEASE DON'T RETURN TO HIM. Trust me love will go on. You're "young and foolish" as they say so of course you're gonna want him back, but trust ur head and stay strong, stand up tall and pretend like it doesn't bother u until time passes and it WON'T bother you. Love will go on, someday you'll find someone who's gonna be PERFECT for you. =) it might take a few more tries but just let yourself know NEVER take less than you deserve. every good honest girl out there deserves a good honest man that will love and adore them. So no matter WHAT happens DON'T TAKE HIM BACK. He cheated on you! He treated you like crap! And If he EVER comes back to you trying to persuade you to come back SLAM the door in his lying face!!! Cuz ppl like that NEVER change. Even if he cries or begs on his knees or tries to sell you story after story. DON'T believe him. forget him.
=) And trust me you sound like an incredible person, and you have the same exact right to love and happiness as every other human on this planet.
I'm really sorry to hear about your best friend being involved too. That is horrible. *HUG* idk, you should try to talk it out. and if u find u can make up and tat its the guy's fault u should both forget him n not let a stupid boy come between you. if she doesn't care bout ur feelings then she's a horrible person and u should find some other more loyal friends. :) good luck.
Btw add me as a friend on here n message me if u want to talk.
