Money matters are Private in a marriage?

Hi ang, I see this money thing having some kind or the other issues with money worldwide. Especially in India and still particularly in some community money plays the God;s role. This is so that marriage is scheduled on the balance sheet of money, I mean how much the girl's family is able to afford for the marriage. If the deal is done there would be marriage or else just push off even without showing a courtesy of saying a bye. Here with this folk it could be that money is for living and living a better life or to settle with some investment, though this is just an excuse. Now there are independent women too. And yes as you have put it is better to have own pocket than to put your hand at others.

I am hubby always handed his check over I paid the bills bought the groceries and any thing else we needed. Worked for him he didnt even want to handle the check book and would only use bank card when out of town then call me and let me know what to take off account.

I've always been the banker. I've lived with guys who had no idea how to budget or save and who would spend money as fast as they got it. They resented my management skills basically and so that was eventually the end of the relationship. I've always pulled my weight and put in my share and more. I live happily and am financially stable on my own.

I do all of the finances for our household. I earn money but my husband is the actual bread winner. I do not rely on him to do our bills and things though. I do all of that myself to make sure we get what we need.

HI Zandi! Money is indeed bone of contention between a couple, specially when both are working. Many arguments and fights take place because of money. I just cannot understand the term 'my money' and 'your money', when a couple argue on the authority of keeping money. I believe that if a husband and a wife have harmonious and coordinal relations and they can gel well with each other, then they should collectively do the spending. It is right that one of them could be the incharge of spending, but the other fellow should 'trust' him/her and should give him/her a free hand. BTW, I am the banker in my house, I look after all financial matters and though my wife is working, it is I who does all the spending. We also fight our money matters, but I keep a record of each spending and I show her where the money goes, so that she gets convinced. Good Post!

I think u are very smaert to do that. WORKING as a hairdresser for so many years & seeing my customers lose their husbands was bad enough but some of them didn't know the first thing about buisness or what they needed to do next, one of them had never even written a check & paid a bill bow that's ridiculous. Women need to know what's going on!! i think being independant is a very good idea. oF COURSE I'M THE BANKER HERE CAUSE' IT'S JUST ME HERE.

I think money matters a lot in household. It is true reklationship can't be measured with respect to money,but sometime sits the main argument. Life can't go without money. so before marriage, one should control and manage things well.

What a coincidence you have posted this zandi because I was going to start a discussion about this very subject. I am still smarting from resentful comments my husband made on the weekend; he has since apologised but the words are out there. I came home from my daughter’s dancing class on Saturday morning and told my husband that I enjoyed a lovely cappuccino while I was there and that the other mothers and I have decided to make a ‘coffee run’ every week so we can have a nice hot drink while we are watching our kids dance. My husband reacted very unexpectedly and asked me how much the cappuccino cost. I was somewhat surprised and told him, “$3.95 why do you ask?” To this he replied, “I suppose that’s another regular expense!” I was astounded but it did not end here. That evening he and my daughter decided to have a barbecue for dinner consisting of steak, potatoes etc. and because I don’t eat very much red meat I pulled a frozen dinner out of the freezer and was quite happy to have that for my evening meal until my ‘beloved’ asked me how much the frozen dinner cost! HE WANTED TO KNOW HOW MUCH MY MEAL COST!!! Do you believe it? He went on about how expensive frozen food is bla, bla, bla... I have been so upset about this because I have always been an independent person and no one has ever begrudged me a coffee or a frozen meal! Considering that I hardly ever buy anything for myself that is not a necessity, work very hard trying to make money from my writing and take care of my home and family very well I feel very hurt by his attitude. I vowed to make my own money from now on so that I can consume as many cappuccinos and frozen dinners as I like! You are doing the right thing zandi keeping your independence and not relying on the man of the house for financial support. In my case I am expected to manage the money too...

They say size doesn't matter. But what's so attractive about a guy who won't pay your way into the movies once in a while? Notice, I didn't say CAN'T...I said WON'T. It's one thing for one spouse to achieve greater financial success than their partner. So, long as the significant other isn't jealous about and then that's usuallly when the fights start. Money is a touchy subject because not everyone is fortunate to have enough money to live comfortably. I think each person in a relationship should be independent financially. If you want to share just one seperate account for bills, etc. that's fine. Keep yourself in a reality check though. Set yourself up with the ability to leave a relationship the same way you came in, without the other's money or assets!

If u don't know let me tell u that money is taken as dowry in India for marriage from the girls parents when she gets married to her spouse.So money ios everything in marriage here in India, atleast I can say that

In my family my BF makes the money and we both try to decide where the money goes, but he likes to be in control so he usually dose everything and i just tell him what we need like things for the baby and house hold things. But usually my BF dose all most all of it.

Money matters are definitely not private. Sometimes I pay the bill, sometimes my hubby pays the bills. It is no more I or he, it is "we". It is how you take it. After marriage, how can "money" draw a line between the life partners. For me money is the least thing that I would like to acquire. Either I or my husband both have no issues handling money.

In my household, we keep money for oneself. I think the money matters are big problems in a marriage. We have lots of quarrels about money. But i don't think it doesn't matter, we love each other more than these problems.

I am the banker in this house and in the business we run. My husband does not have a clue as to how much anything costs or what bills need to be paid and when. I just tell him we either have cash spare or we have no cash spare and he needs to earn more! I am also the spender in the house and my say is final, if I think we can afford it then we will purchase it, he will always speak to me first. this is the one thing we do not argue about very often, as the bills come first then luxuries come after. it works for us.

Hubby balances the books, we bring home about the same amount of money. We have very few squabbles about money. I would rather be working less. I find that there is a lot of stress that comes home with my job. I am looking for other ways to earn that will free me up. I count myself lucky, however, to have a full time, regular job,when many are doing without.

Im the banker in our home, my husband works and gives me the check. I pay the bills and make a list of things needed. He isnt interested in doing the bills or anything. I agree thou alot of couples agree over money and it isnt healthy for the relationship. Sooner or later thou I think most couples learn what works for them.

I am the banker here, but I run open books so that Hubby can look anytime he wants. In fact I push him to be more involved in case I'm the one to pass on first. Money has been in the past the cause of most fights, but that is just because at times it was a little short, now if things get tight I make sure that he is involved in all choices.

I think it all depends on who you are with and what you would like to do as a couple. For me I like to handle the money but I will admit that my boyfriend seems to not like the way I do things. He has said to me give me the money and I will pay the bills. I just cannot do that, I want to pay the bills and I think I am good at what I do. I live on very little every month but I still make it so that is all that matters to me. I think a lot of people fight about money and I think it is something you should talk about with your current lover, boyfriend, etc to make sure you are both on the same page. Take care and happy mylotting to you.

I don't think money has got anything do with marriages except meeting the expenses. for true relations to survive, money matters should not be brought in especially , in the very begining if a married life. MOney talks are alwayz dangerous and willl end up spoiling the married life, that too very early. I too think that for really strong relations to exsist strongly , money matters should not be brought in between their married life. It should be a private deal. generating your own income can be an answer to a certain extend , but what if only one earns ? Then the problem arises again. so itz better to keep money matters out of a family life. Take dicision together

My hubby is the banker, the bread winner. I am the typical housewife. That is why i'm trying my best to have extra penny here on net. Money is not a big a problem in our home.