What Women Appearance Means to Men?
By zandi458
@zandi458 (28102)
Malaysia
July 27, 2009 7:35am CST
It is a known fact that men are attracted to beauty and sexiness of women as women are to tough and good looking guys. That is the first impression that catches the roving eyes of either genders. It is a natural phenomenon as we are endowed with a pair of crystal clear eyeballs that appreciates beauty in human nature in all angles. Some of us by good fortune maybe quite physically beautiful on the outside but it is at best a very temporary beauty. It fades along with the bloom of youth into a mass of wrinkles and sagging flesh. Along with this fading beauty, I began to wonder if the men still feel the same way about their wives as on day one of setting eyes on them?
Is this statement true or false for the men out here "I want my wife/significant other to look good and feel energetic. It is not as important that she look just like she did the day we met. It is more important that she made the effort to take care of herself for me now." If you're a man reading this, how would you have responded? And if you are a woman reading this, what percentage of the men would you guess responded "true," and what percentage said "false"?
So what happens when, years into the marriage, half the reason he married you is gone? The love blindness has finally opened up his eyes when he enters into marriage and could see clearly now that he had made a blunder of himself. This creates an obvious and serious problem in any relationship. I think most men wish that their wives would give adequate attention to their physical appearance, diet, weight, clothes makeup, exercise - the whole thing. It may not be important but most men don't say it out for fear of hurting their wives. It is important to maintain our appearance for the sake our husbands and marriage. What do say about this?
4 people like this
17 responses
@Lakota12 (42600)
• United States
27 Jul 09
Only one time did my hubby say anything about me and told me I was to skinny as my bones cut int o his leggs when I sat on his lap So I put on a littel weight lol.
And I really think a women does it for herself more than for hubby so they stil look good in their own eyes.
2 people like this
@GardenGerty (160908)
• United States
28 Jul 09
Lakota I believe you are right. If and when I do myself up, it is for me. Hubby thinks I am beautiful anyway.
1 person likes this
@paula27661 (15811)
• Australia
28 Jul 09
I have always taken good care of myself for me and me only. If you talk about love I would like to think that my partner will love me regardless of how I look and vice versa but I do think there is a difference loving a person’s imperfections and body changes due to age, illness etc. and being with someone who takes no proud in his or her self and has no concern for their appearance at all.
Whether you look after your exterior depicts your general life attitude and I like my partner to know that how he sees me does matter to me; I’m not talking about senseless vanity but pride in myself as a person.
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
28 Jul 09
Many times I have heard women express the need to be loved by their husband "for who they are" and not what they look like. They hang to the overweight condition as a test of their husband's love. I find this reasoning fascinating, hearing a woman say she is deliberately making herself unattractive to test her husband's love. 
1 person likes this
@paula27661 (15811)
• Australia
28 Jul 09
That's a test I would not like to put my husband through! I would hate being fat so much, it just would not be worth it!
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (58678)
• Delhi, India
28 Jul 09
Hi Zandi!
It is very true that outer and physically beauty of a woman (and a man too) gets diminshed and gets faded with the passage of time. At the age of 40, a woman cannot look like a girl of 20 years. I would like my better half to look 'good' and feel energetic when she become older and when we both grow older and her outer beauty gets reduced, I won't take it otherwise. What is more important is that her love, care and attention towards me should remain unchanged and our bond should get strengthened with each passing day of our married life. If we are successful in strenthening our 'relations', then our outer appearance does not carry much value.
Good Post!
@dpk262006 (58678)
• Delhi, India
28 Jul 09
Hi Zandi!
I agree with you that inner love and affection between couples should remain intact, irrespective of their growing age.
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
28 Jul 09
Oh yah...nowadays it is hard to differentiate a 40 year old woman from a 20 year old. There are lots of gadgets and medications to revive the beauty of a woman. But what is important is the strong love that should not diminish with the passage of time.
@mdvarghese (1789)
• Bangalore, India
27 Jul 09
Hi...zandi
I agree with you that men are attracted beauty and sexiness of women. But aging is quite natural and we cannot stop. As a married man, what I can say that I have the same love , affection and attachment to my wife till today. Both of us are aging, we cant help it. Moreover in my opinion we will be more attached to our wife after she gave birth to our child. I dont think that I made a blunder by marrying. I agree with you that most men wish that their wives would give adequate attention to their physical appearance and fittness.As far as I concerned It is not necessary to maintain the physical appearance for the sake of marriage . I dont think marriage is a glass tumbler to break easily.
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
28 Jul 09
I can say your wife is lucky to have you. You have not change despite seeing your wife no longer having the beauty that she once had. I agree with you that both are aging and should accept each other regardless of how aging has transform the appearance of your other half. You are a great man and the aging look of your wife has not diluted your true love for her. I salute you!
1 person likes this
@mdvarghese (1789)
• Bangalore, India
28 Jul 09
Hi....zandi
Thank you for your appreciation and salute. Have a nice day
1 person likes this
@HelScream (2822)
• Philippines
28 Jul 09
for me I dont look at physical beauty to choose my partner in life. I feel in love with my gf without even seeing her in person or even in picture. I met her at the net we chat we became best of friends and just talk naturally, its her inner beauty that attracts me the most and believe me I am so in love with her that I am willing to be her partner in life in the future. till now I only see her once and that is through webcam only once but that glimpse of her remained in my heart and till we meet nothing will ever change for even blind men see what others cant.
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
28 Jul 09
sometimes it is not the physical outlook that draws people together but with the intelligence of a person which create a deep impression that attract one another. I am not at all surprise you get attracted to your net friend. There must be something in her that stirs your heart.
@my_name_is_coco (4333)
• Philippines
29 Jul 09
first,the men have to admit that they are really particular about the physical appearance of a woman.these men are really particular about how their partners look.of course,as men ages,their thinking changes.they get to appreciate their partners' personality.they get to appreciate that beauty isn't really all about the face and body.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (160908)
• United States
28 Jul 09
A person who loves you sees you at all times through a lens of love. Being afraid of my looks changing would make me a very insecure person. I will change. I need to respect and love myself enough to take care of me, but I do not have to do false things to not lose a mate.
1 person likes this
@Wizzywig (7847)
•
28 Jul 09
I guess it depends on how much he cares for her as a whole person. I think the emphasis would be on wanting one's partner to be healthy and feel good about him/herself. IMHO physical appearance is just a small part of a meaningful relationship and that the changes in personality, aspiration and outlook have far more effect. Everyone changes and relationships change - but that doesn't mean they end. I dont think its important to maintain appearance for anyone's sake but your own.
@ivan2000bd (1009)
• Sweden
28 Jul 09
i didnt marry a girl looking by the beauty outside. i know it very much the beauty of figure and all fades away by the passing of time. i considered a good mind a good person to be my life partner.
@maygodblessu44 (7336)
• India
13 Aug 09
Hello my friend zandi458 Ji,
Time and again, I wish to inform you taht we are happy married couple since 40 yrs now and about what you are aiming we never checked each other on liking and disliking to appear more attarctive by using more body fitness or make-up and dressing up. My hubby ha shis own way of doing and he never disturbs us. He always appriciatesmy fitness. He never compares me with many other ladies in our family or in friend's circle. At this age of 65, he is very much attatched to me, and in response, i am too. We have no contract between both of us. We are bound by our social religion and would like to remain together till end.
May God bless You and have a great time.
@maygodblessu44 (7336)
• India
15 Aug 09
Hello my friend zandi458 Ji,
WE are very much happy going with many differences, he never wants me in kitchen, if he is there, he wishes to do himself. he is of the opinion , if something goes wrong, he would like to take full blame. Though our youngness has left us, but we have many more other feelings attatched andtry and remember our good old time. We always make programme, which is suitable to both of us. I do not know, how any of us wouldlive alone in absence of another. That is our great worry. He is 71 and still going well in his duties. May God bless You and have a great time.
@kawalnarang (1095)
• Trinidad And Tobago
27 Jul 09
A TRUE statement ,, I think exercise may be even in taking good care of the household,, U do not need a gym ,The 2 should join in fixing up the place,, Sweeping,gardening,washing, cooking,, etc should provide sufficient warming up,The attraction diminishes in all couples,, If one of the partners needs beautiful young looking /energetic other,,than the choice was not get tied up with one,, stay unattached,, get another partner later,, But the problem is when we are young and crazy( at the time of marriage),we do not posses the thinking brains to plan,,Anyone wants the other to be attractive , beatutiful/strong ,or whatever,, TAKE care of yourself first,and beauty is not skin deep after 20 or 30 years of marriage,,
@kawalnarang (1095)
• Trinidad And Tobago
14 Aug 09
I do support ur thougts,,,,,,,,life is too short,,to live in misery,,mooooooooooooove,, wish u best
@madamenihao (117)
• China
28 Jul 09
I am sure the man would attracted by the beauty girl.But the appearance is not the uniquely reason he love you.
Not mater how beatiful you are ,the man would be feeling bored with your appearance.
@madamenihao (117)
• China
28 Jul 09
If the women is the good wife,good mother,good dauther-in-low,and she could earn money by herself,and she have some saving...
The men would not leave you,even he is bored with your face...
@studentabe (109)
• Belgium
28 Jul 09
I don't like those men who are over care about the appearance. Appearance can't be a main reason for a man to choose you. Or your relationship will fail when you are no longer beautiful as before.
Many other points which are much more significant than appearance should be taken into consideration when you decide to set up a relationship, such as character, personality, common interest,etc.
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
28 Jul 09
The right chemistry between husband and wife should be able to sustain a relationship. But I discovered that men would not be able to control their roving eyes when they see a beautiful woman who just passed by. Maybe it is their nature who can't resist to look at beautiful, young and sexy women.
@jsatt1816 (1)
•
28 Jul 09
I would say that when my wife makes her self look good by working out at the gym or dressing in nice cloths with makeup and so on, that says to me that she cares about us and what we have togeather as a husband and wife. It is so easy over the years to get used to having your mate around and to get to the point of saying inside your self "I don't care." I have tomorroow to make up or look good or say I love you. I have to work hard at loving my wife to avoid this and she has to work hard at loving me to avoid the I don't care cycle.
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
28 Jul 09
You are lucky to have a wife who take good care of her appearance well. They are some women who don't even bother to care for their appearance once they get married. They just take things for granted as their husbands never comment on them. The silence does not mean that the men doesn't notice or care but just that they don't want to hurt the feelings of their wives.
@kprofgames (3091)
• United States
28 Jul 09
I see this from kind of a different way. I've seen married couples that just let themselves go because they're married now so what's the point. I don't agree that a person should let their body or looks fall apart because a wedding ring was put on.
I also don't think appearance needs to be kept up for the sake of a marriage. I think a person should care about their appearance for their own body image.
You notice when people are dressed up how they carry themselves differently. They look good and feel good BECAUSE they look good.
I think a person should continue to keep themselves up for themselves. If you feel good about yourself it reflects on your attitude and actions. So when I read this I think that people should care about themselves for themselves. I don't think people should have to look or dress a certain way for another - married or not; but they should do it for themselves because everything they do still helps them in their everyday lives and working relationships.
If you feel good about how you look, it radiates from you because you know you look good. If it keeps an active spark in a relationship, then that's a bounus to me, but it's not manditory to make the relationship work over the long haul.
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
28 Jul 09
A very good account from you and I agree with your views. Taking care of our appearance make us more confident as it feels good and comfortable to be in a well toned body draped in a beautiful dress makes us walk and talk confidently. It make a woman in us and that in itself brings out the aura. With a strong aura it is impossible for the spouse to look elsewhere.
@tundeemma (894)
• South Africa
28 Jul 09
yes womens appearance matter more than men's appearances, men can go for several days without having their bath while women cannot do that otherwise they will smell , men also need personal hygienic plan and we all need to have beuty routine but they are much more important for women
