What happens when they turn eighteen?

I believe that each child is different. The economy is a major deterrent for a young person to just go out and fend for themselves. Sometimes it takes a couple of years for a young person to figure out what to do with their lives. It is important that they be either in school or have some sort of job. There is quite a dilemma in taking out loans for school, especially if a choice is made that does not fit the child and then they have no way to pay the loans. I personally wish that my in-laws had not had the idea that everyone should leave at 18. We have struggled for many years with inadequate income because of lack of education or help. A child who has a good start in life can be equipped to not only take care of themselves but will have a greater ability to also help parents later on.

its a very good decision kids should find their own way , u can just help them show the way but cant do spoon feeding for them ,

I agree with you on this. I think kids appreciate their education so much more if they are the ones doing the work to get there. Our job as parents is to raise our kids to be good and respectable and independent people. I am single and have 4 kids...I did not...could not pay for their college. My 15 yr old wants drivers ed...so expensive...I don't have it. Two of my girls are on their own. One is married , has a high position in a bank, 2 kids and doing great. The other lives with her boyfriend of 2 yrs and so far, so good. 3rd...really struggles with this whole being on her own thing. She bounces back and forth. It's really tough out there for them on their own. I'm ok with her moving back home when she needs to. She works and just doesn't choose reliable roommates.

I started paying rent when I was 16. My mother thought it would be a good learning experience, and she was right. She was there to lend a helping hand with applications and such, but I had to do it. It was difficult, but I was glad for her support. By 18 I had learned a few more skills and was ready. I think it is a good idea to prepare our kids for the "your 18" before hand, so it isn't such a shock. Wishing you lots of luck as you get ready for him to fly from the nest!

i really appreciate the way you educate your son. In china parents support their children until they go to work . I did think it's a great burden to parents and at the same time the children will be spoiled. Children should learn how to survive in the society . The early the better.

The study is the only thing I would focus on on several years ago.. But now,if I turn back to eighteen,I think I would try to the things I would good at...Not only study...

The transition of roles from raising kids to being parents of adults is a hard one. We want to be there for our adult kids, but we also want them to get out and move on with their lives. There's a fine line between being there for our adult kids and being an anchor around their necks. Most kids can't wait to get out on their own, but "most" doens't mean "all", and just because a kid doesn't fit in the "most" category, doesn't mean there is something wrong with them. I think you are on the right track with putting some of the financial responsibilities on him, even if he lives at home. This makes it so his income isn't just "fun money". It also reminds him that he is an adult and with that comes adult responsibilities. With our kids, we let them know from an early age that after they graduate, they are expected to become independent citizens. We let them stay at home as long as they had plans and were working towards them. In other words, if they planned to go to college or tech school, they can stay home while they are applying for whatever tuition assistance they are eligible for, as well as applying to schools. That way the money they earn at work can go towards their plans, instead of living expenses. However, if all they are doing is working, with no plans to go to school... then it's time to help them find a place to live, and be on their own. Parents never quit being parents, but there comes a time when it's no longer the job of parents to raise the kids... in fact, if they continue to try, they are mistreating the kids... and the adult kids are mistreating the parents.

I think what you are doing can be ruled out as educating your child to face the real world. He may have blissful years in college but in real life, earning hard to put some dough on the table is a lesson teenagers should learn early in life. In my opinion, you need to keep encouraging your son but don't forget to support him or else too harsh a behavious can often lead to obstinance and disobediance. Best of luck!

I agree with you. If the time, children need to learn independent living. Learn the truth about life. Although sometimes the parents do not dare to remove it, and financial help. I educate my children to independent. I can help them in another. My first son to study in the Management Information System department. He works freelance designing the system office or company. My second son studied in the Marketing Communication department. 2 years he has become a Disc Jockey (DJ), and had several shows in the city. I love them. Spoil them is a mistake.