Are your shoulders strong enough for additional burdens?

Hi, My daughter tells me all the time mom you are too nice, you need to toughen up, you let people take advantage cause you can't say no, I say I will rather be the woman I am than be like a lot of heartless people I have came upon in my lifetime, I feel if I am a part of your like you should consider yourself blessed.I wear my heart on my sleeve so I have been told many times, but yes it tends to take a toll when you don't feel like you are appreciated by others, that is where I am even with my family, when I give advice I tell people the truth unfortunately people don't like to hear the truth, which leaves me wondering who are my real friends I don't have many but it's their lost not mine, I am in a place right now that I want to be around like minded individuals, I don't think you should feel bad about how you are feeling there is a reason for it, only you know what that reason is. You know growing up my daughter was a lot like me, so sweet so sensitive but when she was hurt by he sons father, something happened to my baby, now she is so mean/heartless I sometimes don't like her, she thinks this is best for her, but I don't feel that way she has a son to raise and sometimes we debate ( oh let me add we are a house full of virgos) and my grandson who is so much like me and he is only 6 feels stuck in the middle I explain to him we both have opinions and sometimes when people try to get their opinion across they tend to raise their voice this does not mean we don't love each other we are just passionate about the discussion at that point in time, her insensitivity is not a good thing when you have a smart/intelligent child to raise, she thinks she is right so all I can do is be their for him and guide him as best I could, We are not all blessed with this gift, my advice to you is to sit down and think about what has hardened you heart, get pass it and continue to be the wonderful woman that you are, it's there you just need to calm yourself and figure out what happened.

Beaushell52, I think its all of the things you listed plus maybe even a few more that have you feeling and being the way you are now. Those things weigh on us, they eventually bring us down and we start getting hard and less sympathetic to things we used to think we could make better. I say just sit back girl, you won't be like this forever. Its just another season. Linda

I am just in college so i am thinking i am still young in your category but similar to you my friends would always come to me whenever they had any problems. Every time they had any problem they would come to me looking for solutions or help and for problems that can not be solved a person who will make them forget those problems. Even till this day people know me as a person who is ready to help others in every condition. I am thinking that as we grow older our will for helping other is but the same. It is the degree of problems that increases. When you have got more friends with different problems and whose problems becomes more complex and difficult. I always forget my problems pretty soon as if i never have any problems. So i never spend any time in solving my own problems. Some time in later stages of life with work or family or even life, there may be some problems that i cannot solve or problems that i may need to solve if such things happens we will always look for others to help but then with our problems to solve our mind is not solely helping but interleaved in solving our own and others problems. It is not easy to know that your help throughout your life was not so important to people you love. If you have cared for people enough then you look for similar care which you do not get in life. That is the loss of having a loving and compassionate heart in impassive world but if you live strong enough then you will be the strongest man in the world even if it be for your own self. Stop looking at others for help or consent to acknowledge your efforts. When you depend on anybody for help you always end up thinking i help but do not get help so why help ? Well the best way is to stop depending and the next best stop thinking. Also people who help like to keep low profile so i think when you help the others realize you have helped but do not acknowledge it but you should know deep in there hearts they have done that ten times. So let it be. may you get back your tender heart with the strongest will.

Whether I want to or not, I'm often saddled with my friends problems. People need help, and I don't have the heart to tell them no. Often, I don't even do anything. All I do is listen. As I know they will be there for me, I don't mind returning the favor.

To be able to lend a shoulder to someone we must be strong enough and my past has made me strong enough to deal with someone in life now and to be able to listen to others as well as help them whenever its possible. So lending a shoulder to someone is only good because at the same time we are lessening the pain of that person to make him/her realise that we are here for him/her.

Actually the answer will just come in your own. Try to talk to yourself. Think about what you really feels . I think it is also possible that you are longing for that tender heart. I dont believe that you already turned to stone. You just cant understand yourself. Maybe there are just things bothering you that really affects your life. The best things is that maybe you need the comfort of other maybe it is the time that you will be the one to ask advice to your friends. Hope you'll pass it.. Good day!