newly married couples... having a baby right away?.
By acie_21
@acie_21 (5633)
Philippines
July 30, 2009 11:59am CST
to a newly wed couples..do you want to have a baby right away after the wedding?or you want it maybe 5 more years or 3 or 2 to have a baby?to the part of a woman married earlier like me 21 years old..are you ready to be a mom..?be responsible to take care your child and husband..what you think?everybody can share their opinions..married or not married..
6 responses
@x_Jo_x (1040)
•
30 Jul 09
I think if i was in love and living with my husband, then soon i would want a baby. I really want kids. My mum had another baby when i was 12 and i helped look after her and have ever since so i know what needs doing to look after a baby. It is a huge step though, and not one i would take lightly. If we didnt have enough money and couldnt offer a child a good life then i wouldnt get pregnant. I would make sure i thought i could definatly 100% be a great mum first before I desided to get pregnant. I think people who rush into marriage and kids are a bit silly. But if they have taken the time to think about what they are doing, if they are 100% commited and in a loving relationship then i dont think there is anything wrong with being young!
For example:
2 young people meet, love each other, decide to get married after 1/2 years, then have kids a few months after, but didnt really think about it, they dont have enough money and argue because they are both tired and worried about finacial things, then end up divorced within 5 years because they didnt think things through!
BAD
2 young people meet, fall in love, date for 2 years or so then get engadged, take their time then get married, then move in together and after a few months decide they have enough money and are both ready for kids. Live happily ever after because they have a dedicated marriage and dont have to worry about anything!
Ok
So for me it depends on the situation they are in. Having a baby right away isnt bad unless you arnt ready for it. That wont be fair on the child most likely.
Im not saying all couples who rush into it will end like this, what do i know... i havent done it! But thats just my general view on things. I would rather take my time and get it right, than rush and get it wrong! I admire people who do make succeful lives at a young age though. I think people have a big downer on young parents, all the young parents i know are doing fantastic jobs and i dont think people should prejudge them so much!
@x_Jo_x (1040)
•
31 Jul 09
Awww thanks Glad I could help! You definatly shouldnt let your friends convince you to have a baby! They might of had them - thats their choice! Its your body and your life, only YOU can make the desicion when you are ready! Especially if you have had bad experiences in the past. Your friends should be more supportive! Have a nice day anyway
@acie_21 (5633)
• Philippines
31 Jul 09
thanks friend thats a good answer..many people we know keep on telling me to have a baby..and keep on forcing and teasing,and that makes me more mad at them..i really dont know if im ready physically and emotionally...i ones failed my 1st pregnancy...and still scared to have one cause of the trauma that caused me..i hope that God will help me..and your advice is a very big help and im happy that you made an effort to response to this discussion..thank you!
1 person likes this
@daliaj (5674)
• India
3 Aug 09
I would like to wait for sometime to get to know each other, have fun, and go for a lot of trips. I don't want to take the responsibility of having a kid right away. The responsibility of a mother is important and should be exercised seriously and carefully. It is good to wait till you are mentally mature to go for that.
@maximax8 (31046)
• United Kingdom
2 Aug 09
I think it is lovely for a married couple to have a first baby two years after the wedding and then a second child two or three years later. Some couples marry when the lady is already pregnant with the first baby. I think that if the couple get married at age 20 to 25 it is sensible to wait until age 28 to 30 before having a baby. If the couple are age 30 to 35 it might be sensible to get married and then the lady tries to get pregnant straight away. Then the couple would have time to have a second baby. I am 37 years old so someone of my age is getting towards age 40 which is a poor time to have first baby. My mother got married when she was 31 and she had my sister at 34 and me at 39 years old. She was so late in having her children.
@mdvarghese (1789)
• Bangalore, India
30 Jul 09
Hi...acie
In my opinion it is better to wait for two years. Before taking the responsibility of taking care of the child you should take care of your husband atleast for two years. After a child coming into your life, you will not be that free to keep time for yourself and your husband.
@qdietz (244)
• United States
30 Jul 09
I would wait, mostly because around 50% of marriages end in divorces, it would be stupid to have a baby, and make it live all its life with divorced parents.
I would wait a bit, 21 is early to have a baby nowadays, hell i'm almost 21 and I am not ready to be a father, I will still be in school!
cheers
@aurerm (371)
• Switzerland
30 Jul 09
I was married with 21.
Now I am 39.
My eldest is 18.
Are you good at maths? :-)
In my eyes it depends when you were ready. I mean you want the kid to taken care. This, if it sounds silly, is also a question of money. Also it depends on the support of your parents.