6 months

I totally agree with this. For the first few months people are so overtaken by the feelings of love, lust and infatuation that even if the bad habits are there, they are easily overlooked. It is only after you have spent quite a bit of time with someone and those initial "giddy" feelings have worn down some that you start realizing that some of these other things bother you. I guess i just think about the fact that i am sure some of the things i do bother him too, but unless it is something absolutley major that really just makes you start to despise the person, it is easier to overlook these little personality quirks. Soemtimes you just have to step back and think, is this something that is just a minor annoyance? or something that i absolutly cannot see my self living with for a long period of time? Many times i am only annoyed by something my partner does or doesn't do because i am in a bad mood or stressed out about something else. After that mood passes or the stress is relieved, i realize it really isn't that huge of a deal breaker.

For me, by that time I was probably so much in love (or more likely infatuated as it turned out) that I overlooked anything unpleasant. I've always believed that love means accepting someone warts and all. Unfortunately their behaviour or their 'warts' were the cause of the resentment that developed. You cannot continue overlooking bad character traits or forgiving a person when they don't even try to be better or do the right thing. And if the person isn't even prepared to talk about things and work things out or work through any problems then....what hope is there?

My Ex Husband managed to hold the nasty person back for nearly 2 years, as soon as the ring was on my Finger, the nasty Person surfaced, did he ever

Maybe it varies a little from person to person, how long they can maintain a "good" facade... and conversely, it depends on how long each person keeps their "blinders of infatuation" on. I think the underlying IDEA is good, but the time varies. My first ex essentially was a different person for all for the 2 1/2 years we dated and then lived together... then we got married, and in a matter of about a month (maybe less) it was like "the truth came out." Like someone else mentioned in their response, it was like there was a sense of "OK, now that we're married you can't get away, so I don't need to TRY, anymore." My second was nice until she had a massive crisis and meltdown over an abusive work situation... and she just "never came back" (emotionally speaking) from that... whether the trauma released "the truth," or simply changed her personality... that, I don't know. My current love and I are in year five of a starry-eyed honeymoon... sometimes we look at each other and say "I can't BELIEVE how well we fit together." So maybe it IS possible to "get it right."

After 6 months in a relationship with my ex he started being abusive so that sounds about right to me! I think that is why people shouldnt rush into things like getting married and having kids before you have been in a relationship with the person for at least 1 year at the very minimum!

Exactly! Except now at 52..I'm ready to hit the door after a four hour date. I'm way set in my ways...and don't feel I have to take what most men are dishing out. Guess I am older and wiser. Or I just chose all the wrong ones in the past and am jaded.

hmm..my ex's it usually didn't take that long for their other face to turn around.. usually once they seem to feel secure in their position. *sigh* dad did always call me an a**hole magnet.. and he was often right.

Well that must be pretty accurate.....I met my ex and four months later was married to him....on the honeymoon things really came out! Like he told me that I was his wife ....and I would do what he told me to do! I also dated a guy for a while...after about "6" months I could only tolerate him for about three weeks then I would have to take a break. First he would take me out.....then when he thought I was all his....he wanted to fall into a routine of being a couch potato and just lay around.....I found out how very boring he was!

Hello this is my story now... well, I felt in love with my husband 5 years ago and he was sweet and nice and awesome guy that I never met before. I thought this was it, and he was the only one in this world that i wanted to marry to. But after we married, thing change... he started going crazy about arguing... we fought almost every week on unnecessary thing. He was not a patient person... screamed and yelled at me all the time... not even that he used to call me names... that made me uncomfortable at all. I decided to leave him then he changed back to who I met before. I said to him that it was nothing to me now and everything is too late... you had made a nice girl in a deep dark room. well, right now I still stay in the marriage cuz of my children. I never feel love like I used to have for him anymore, sometime I find myself to hate him so much. He knows about that too and everyday he tries his best to make me love him back again, I am also try to work this thing out too... But my heart broke already and nothing he can do about it. He used to hurt me almost 3 years... I gave him many many many chance to fix but he never did, until now... For me, I still dont trust him that much cuz he can change... I just be prepare for myself more than anyone now... the most people I care are my children.

Hi dawnald, That is so true, my hubby showed his true traits as soon as we were married but \I put him straight, lol! Tamara

..hmm.. I think it,s not like that actually.. because when we are in love with the person in the first place, we tend to look at the positive side even if that person is doing something negative.. We are blinded by the love we feel towards that person.. Only later that we realize these negative things when we can already control our feelings.. actually, sometimes, other people would just realize this if they are already married.. that's why some people would advice that if you are in a relationship, you should be careful and control your feelings so that you can see both the negative and positive side of the person.. However, if you love the person, you will love everything about him/her both his/her negative and positive side.. because everybody has weakness and nobody is perfect.. likewise in a relationship, you will always encounter petty fights.. it's just how we see things that matter so much.. There are people who think that what they are doing is good but actually it is hurting others.. This is an instance where we need to remind our partner about the mistakes he/she is doing.. maybe he/she is not doing that intentionally to hurt us..

I support some views like " there is no prefect men/women in the world " even though your favour lover. it's good feeling for each other to make a couple comes together, and i believe fall in love with one guy have no reason , love is crazy and amazing .so after you and him in a relationship few months or years later ,it's doesnt matter if he/she be found something weird. if u really care about these , just one thing can explain , you are not compatible with her/him.

Maybe he`s already comfortable with you and he believes that you`ll accept him despite of his glitches after knowing you for 6 months.