I am feeling uncomfortable with leaving my children alone with my mother-in-law.
By cream97
@cream97 (29087)
United States
August 2, 2009 12:42pm CST
Ever since my mother-in-law has said a few statements to me about her grandchildren, it has left me feeling a bit puzzled and on edge. The first one was about my nephew. She told me that the devil told her to strangle him. And the same with my niece as well. These children belong to my sister-in-law. She told me that her daughter was hungry and wanted something to eat. And the little girl was whimpering for something to eat, and my mother-in-law said that the devil told her to strangle her and not give her anything to eat. As long as she has been keeping her grandchildren, she has never hurt them in a bad way as far as I know of. But when she says these statements around me, it makes me feel as if she is capable of harming my children and any of her grandchildren. I talked with her about what she has been saying, and she told me that she would never harm any of her grandchildren. She so assured me of this. She said that she loves them. Which is all lovely. But when a person says or does the impossible around you, it gets one to thinking. And it has me thinking very hard. I told her, that if she does not mean these things, don't let Satan get in her mind like that. If she would do so, something bad could really happen that she would have no control over.
And I told her that she has to be careful of what she says around others. If she have had to have any other son and daughter-in-law's, they would think that she is abnormal. Not everyone will understand her. They will think that she is capable of hurting her own grandchildren and Lord forbid, possibly even her own self. She has told me on numerous occasions that they devil tells her to run outside and go somewhere in the woods.. She was saying that she won't do this because no one will be able to find her and she could be killed. The way my mother-in-law keeps talking makes me fearful of her. Is this normal to carry on like this? Am I wrong to feel so oddly against what she is saying. When she talks about the devil like that it makes me think twice about leaving my kids alone with her.
What would you do if you were in my shoes?
What would you do if you were in my shoes?9 people like this
24 responses
@leenie50 (3992)
• United States
2 Aug 09
Cream,
I know you want to believe that your mother-in-law won't hurt you or your children but if she truly believes the devil is talking to her, then I'd be very afraid for your family. When people have voices telling them to do things, they have a mental disorder. Maybe you can convince her with the help of your hubby and sister-in-law to seek counselling. If it were me, I would not leave the kids with her until she gets help and you are assured that things are under control. Good luck. Hugssss
leenie
2 people like this
@cream97 (29087)
• United States
2 Aug 09
Hi, leenie50! I feel the same way. When I brought all of this up to her, she denies it so badly until she wants to cry. But, I tell her that the way that she is talking will make anyone believe that she needs some psychological help immediately. She wants to fight her way with her words. But, I tell her that I can't trust her. She talks about what the devil tells her to do to others. He also tells her what to think about others as well. It is bad. And I am the one who has to hear it. I am tired of it.... My mil hates when someone calls or thinks that she is crazy, but the way that she carries on, one would think that something is very wrong with her.
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
3 Aug 09
She sounds crazy to me. if she does not want to APPEAR crazy or have people think she is crazy, then she really needs to stop talking about the voices in her head. Having voices in your head is never a normal occurrence anyway, and that's usually a yellow flag to anybody who experiences it.
@leenie50 (3992)
• United States
2 Aug 09
Cream,
I know you feel sorry for her, but you need to get your hubby and SIN together and tell them all these things. People with mental disorders don't want to believe it. I think my hubby might be Bipolar but I'm not sure. My Son who I adopted from birth has Bipolar Disorder. Hubby supposedly went to a behavioral center and they told him that he wasn't Bipolar. I didn't go with him but I feel I have to believe him. Before my Son was put on Meds, he was either in a manic state or in a deep depression. My husband doesn't have all that but does have some. Your MIN has a serious disorder and until she gets help, I wouldn't let your kids or neices or nephews near her. Keep me posted please. Hugsss
leenie
@katsalot1 (1618)
•
2 Aug 09
I wouldn't leave any children with her. Even if she is harmless, saying things like that to children can be very distressing for them. It might not seem so at the time, but it's the kind of thing that can re-surface as nightmares etc.
2 people like this
@dreamr802 (985)
• United States
3 Aug 09
I completely agree with you, I wouldn't leave my children with her no matter what. If she is saying these things to the children, they will remember it and it might affect them and their behavior. They might be afraid of their grandmother if they keep hearing her talk like this.
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
3 Aug 09
Well, I wouldn't leave my daughter with my mother-in-law anyway, regardless of the other oddities you mention. I think she is perfectly fine where she is in another state and we can talk friendly on the phone but I don't trust her to take care of my daughter.
In YOUR shoes, I would not ever allow her to be alone with my children. I might visit her with my children but that's as far as it would go. If she said anything weird in front of my kids or just to me in regards to my kids or someone else's kids, that would signal the end of us being around her. I know I might sound a little bit overboard but yes, people who cant' seem to control what they say (and what they say includes things about voices in their head or the devil or god or whatever) and these things are harmful things like strangling, killing, hurting someone, depriving them of food, etc, that sounds like some sort of a sign of mental illness. Don't know about you but I would never purposely even EXPOSE my daughter to someone I suspected of mental illness, not someone who talked about the potential of harming somebody!
Bad thoughts lead to bad comments or remarks which inevitably lead to bad actions. The things she says do not seem normal to me and I'd rather be safe than sorry - meaning that I would not prevent her from acting or talking the way that she is BUT I would never allow my children to be alone with her in any capacity for any reason.
@mikeysmom (2088)
• United States
3 Aug 09
i would not leave them with her!! there is nothing to think about here. mother's instinct has to prevail and you have to protect them. she sounds very unstable and is not the kind of person who should be taking care of children.
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
3 Aug 09
No kidding! Mother's instinct also protects you from allowing your kids around POTENTIAL threats, even if they are not ACTUAL threats yet! People would be wise to listen to the 'hair raising on the back of your neck' if you feel that way about a situation, even if you haven't entered into it yet!
@kellyjeanne (1576)
• United States
14 Aug 09
Hey cream, I just now have been able to respond to this post of yours. That does sound a bit scary, hon. How are things now? Can you respond to this with an update on your kids and if your mother-in-law has gotten better or worse? I would really appreciate knowing this myself. God bless you, sweetie!
Purrs,
Catwoman=^..^= & Mija
@CRIVAS (1815)
• Canada
3 Aug 09
I am sorry to tell you, that talking to the devil is NOT normal. It sounds like she might even have a mental disorder and you need to address the problem with family. I know that it is difficult but at this point she could very well hurt herself or one of the children around her. It is great that she says that she loves them and would never hurt them, but you cannot leave her alone with the children. It is clear to me that she is unbalanced and that she has a very serious problem. A person that is hearing voices talking to them, needs to seek immediate treatment. I am not saying that she should be locked up, but she does need to get some kind of help. I am pleading with you however, not to leave her alone with any children, at this point I don't even think that it is safe to leave HER alone. I would definately tell someone about it and have them look into the problem. It could just be that she needs some meds to make her better,. Either way I would hate to see you leave her alone with the kids, if something were to happen I am sure that you would blame yourself and that is something that you can avoid by not leaving her alone.
@mansha (6298)
• India
3 Aug 09
It seems probably your mother in law has some kind of mental illness, she is hallucinating about these things and for her these are really and truly happening. But some how her religious faith has kept her from harming herself and those aroud her. Its definately not safe to leve kids in her care when she is all alone. Also make her go to a trained psychiatrist to probe deeper and make a right analysis. Its good that you heard her saying all this and now you must help her too.
@Sreekala (34312)
• India
3 Aug 09
Hi cream,
It is disheartening to hear bad words about children. I understand your dilemma and it is difficult to leave the kids at her place. May be she is saying those for words sake only and she love her grandchildren. Calling the kids as devil is really too much. Usually grandmas are so sweet and lovable to their grandchildren. I think you can discuss the same with your hubby and find a solution and please try your best not hurting your mother-in-law.
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
3 Aug 09
dont leave your kids with her, shes acting very abnormal and needs physchriatic help in the worst way. I would suggest she
get a check up with her doctor and tell him about the devil, he will u ndoubtly send her to a shrink, but dont leave your
children with her, she is not acting normally at all.
@sblossom (2168)
•
3 Aug 09
in this case i think you should talk with your mother-in-law directly, or at least you should talk with your husband about your idea.
if you tell them what you think they would understand you.
if not you just need to insist your style.
your children is your previlege. you should be responsible for them. no matter how they critise you or not.
you should have a strong mind and not take any risk. if some bad things happened and you will feel regret, it's already too late.
Also you should talk with your children and make them careful if they are out of your eye sight.
happy mylotting.
@gcorp09 (940)
• Singapore
3 Aug 09
Well, like the rest, I do also think that there are some mental problems with your mother-in-law. Although nothing bad had happened at this moment, you may never know the future. I think it will be good if you could talk to your husband first about this situation, and see how he had to say about it. In addition, it will also be good if you could talk to your mother-in-law about this issue and persuade her to go to the "specialist" to have a look at her situation. She may feel uncomfortable about it, and refuses to go, but you have to make her see the light that it's uncommon that people are able to hear the devil...
By the way, I would not think of letting my kids alone with her unless the whole situation is "solved". I don't feel safe at all with the kids over there.
@jules67 (2788)
• Philippines
3 Aug 09
When you feel uncomfortable, your instincts tell you to follow them. You being a parent should see to it that your kids are all ok. I would not leave them with their mother-in-law if I were in your position. Perhaps you could talk to your husband and explain what you have heard. I know that he will understand your apprehension. It is better to leave your children under the care of a person you really trust.
@yogambal_64 (1014)
• India
3 Aug 09
She must have got tired to baby sitting with your sis in law's kids, so to avoid taking care of your children and to make you think whether it is necessary to leave your kids with her, maybe she is putting a drama. Or it is that she needs psychic treatment. How will be accept she is normal when she speaks all sorts of things like this. Either she is doing it purposely or needs medical aid.
@mrittika77 (13)
• India
3 Aug 09
I would take ker to a counsellor. People when they get old they develop different complexities. may be someone had told her something so she is acting in this way. I believe that grandmothers generally love their grandchildren and so don't move her away from your children. It will hurt her. How old are your children. If they can speak and capable of understanding something apprise this thing to your children that their grandma may behave irrationally and give them one or two options of dealing with her. Children tackle these sort of situations much better than elders. don't worry your MIL will be ok take her to a doctor.
@sorcerer (10)
• Philippines
3 Aug 09
Yeah,it is uncomfortable leaving your children to anyone because you did'nt know if your children will be in good hands.It is hard also if you are a single parent because how can you live wothout money to support all your daily needs.I suggest that you will get help or nanny for you children as they will staying in your house not in your mother in law.
@lynnemg (4529)
• United States
3 Aug 09
I don't think I would be leaving my children, or any children alone with her if it were me. She may have a mental disorder and it could some day end up causing her to really do something horrible even though she normally would not do anything to harm anyone. Statements like that would worry me enough to try to find a way to convince her to get an evalutation.
Recently, in the newspaper, I read a horrible story where a woman stabbed and decapitated her 3 week old baby and then stabbed herself stating that the devil told her to do it. The things your mother-in-law has said to you should not be taken lightly no matter how nice she normally is. All it takes is one time for her to listen to what she says she is being told for something tragic to happen.
@shimanaja (493)
• Indonesia
3 Aug 09
Hi there mylotter..
I live with my husband, also my mother-in-law too.
I go everyday to my work, and i'm leaving my kids with my husband,cause he works at home.
But sometimes..my hubb has to go out, so i have to leave my kids with my mother-in-law.
Only at the certain time i leave them with my mother-in-law..
If i were you...i may not leaving my kids with her coz so many differences in her.
Better make myself comfortable for our kids than i must leave with someone that i cant trust.
@grace118224 (1038)
• China
3 Aug 09
Well it do seem very strange that your mother-in-law to say such words . i would be scared if i heard these words and not willing to let my child to stay with her.
Ok my-mother-in-law didn't say anything like this but i'm also feeling uncomfortable with leaving my children alone with her because she is realy careless and knows nothing about common. But now i have no choice since i begin to work again.
@advokatku (4033)
• Indonesia
3 Aug 09
My feeling uncomfortable too if leave my child alone with my mother in law. This not about she wanna hurt my child. This about style of supervision my mother in law. Some time she always following all wish my child so as cosset. This make my feel uncomfortable
@jason0980 (11)
• United States
3 Aug 09
Ok, i do think there is something wrong with her mentally. But her denial tells me that either she is making up that she hears the devil and doesn't really believe that she hears him. but even if that is true she is still in need of attention. but if your husband doesn't believe that she says these things, then you need to get proof of some kind and then you can face the problem together.
