I am truly enjoying life for the first time....I cant believe it!
By dloveli
@dloveli (4366)
United States
August 7, 2009 6:46am CST
For the last several years I haven't really felt happy or fulfilled. I was missing something. I dont have many friends because I dont like to have to worry if I am hurting someone's feelings or not including them. I dont like to have to watch my back or my man around someone because I am not sure they wont try anything. I have tried different types of friends and it all ends up the same. Until now. I have really been blessed to have a great man and most importanly two wonderful children. I havent found a job yet so I am sure that had alot to due with my depression or sadness if you will. My family has turned out to be the most disfunctional bunch of people I could ever had the displeasure of being related to. Its sad because I relied on my mom for everything. She was my best friend. When I decided to change my life to where I was doing things for me and my family, it became clear that I was not really welcome into the family anymore. There is way more to that so just imagine please. I dont want to get into that because thats not the point I want to make. All of the things that were occurring were no reason to smile. I used to lay in bed in the dark and wish that I could do more, better or make more money. It was my man and children that showed me I had the wrong idea. I had decide a few weeks ago that enough is enough. I signed up for school, started making plans even by myself, most importantly I realized that all the things I was dwelling on meant nothing at the end of the day. Today I can actually say I dont have more than $3 in my pocket but it feels like a million. I am soooo happy! I am thankful for my family, my dogs, my life!. I woke up today and was actually happy that I was alive. Nothing major has changed in the physical sense. I have huge mental changes. I think that just because we are parents we tend to give all of ourselves to our kids. While its good to put the children first, we have to be good within ourselves in order to be a good parent. Today all I have is me to give. You know what? That's all they want! I am soooooo happy I could shout from the roof tops. I know that my unemployment wont be forever so I am going to hold on an enjoy the ride. Thanks guys. I am Happy Yeah! Are you happy?
3 people like this
19 responses
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
8 Aug 09
LOL...you sound like a born again optimist dloveli...good on you. 
It's so refreshing to hear someone with this attitude when all around seems to be doom and gloom. I'm very happy for you...you are blessed indeed. Let the blessings continue now that you have opened yourself to receive them. Love and light to you.
It's so refreshing to hear someone with this attitude when all around seems to be doom and gloom. I'm very happy for you...you are blessed indeed. Let the blessings continue now that you have opened yourself to receive them. Love and light to you.1 person likes this
@dloveli (4366)
• United States
9 Aug 09
Ms. Tickle I cant believe how funny you are! You make me smile and that is something I truly needed right now. I am also really happy with being a part of myLot. You are truly one of the reasons I have changed my attitude from Hell No to WHY NOT! Thanks for listening. I know sometimes I can go on and on but trust me I needed it. You never complained or criticized. You were a friend. Thanks friend. dl
1 person likes this
@AngryKittyMSV (4317)
• United States
8 Aug 09
I struggled with depression for most of my life, and I can honestly say that I am now happier than I have ever been and fully content, despite the fact that my husband and I are dirt poor - we've been blessed wiht two wonderful children and we have echother (and lots of pets), that's really all we need.
I know what you mean, the change has to be IN YOU for it to mean anything. I am SOOOOO glad that you ahve found happiness and inner peace. I am proud of you for going back to school and I am confident you will get a job that you love when the time is right.
Thank you for posting this uplifting discussion, it's good to see some happy stuff from my friends.
1 person likes this
@dloveli (4366)
• United States
9 Aug 09
Hey Kitty! It seems that you and I have more in common than we could imagine. I am reading your response and crying. It is so sad yet refreshing to hear that you have meager means financially and extremely rich in love. You write so wonderfully. I,too, have nothing. Not a cent to my name. I have no job at the moment and am in school. I have no idea where my childs school clothes are going to come from. For some reason even though I have all these problems, I am NOW able to look past that. I know it may sound silly but I have hope again. Thanks to you I dont feel alone. We may have got off on the wrong foot but I am so glad we fixed that. I dont know what I would do without you. You responses have a great impact on me. This I thank you. dl
1 person likes this
@EliteUser (3964)
• Australia
25 Sep 09
Hey,
That is really good, it makes me quite happy when I hear people like you having a really good time in their lives. I just hope that everyone will have a good time in their life. Make sure you are always happy. Make sure you have a good day, God bless and Happy Lotting!!
@jshekhar (1562)
• India
7 Aug 09
Hello friend,
You have seen a lot of hardships and when happiness comes to you after all that, you really understand its value.Sometimes,when we are happy all the time, we do not realise how fickle and valuable happiness is. So, instead of enjoying and cherishing it, we want more and more.you are so happy with your 3 dollars but there are people who would not be happy even after having 3 million dollars!!
I think you are better than them..
Rock on..
1 person likes this
@dloveli (4366)
• United States
9 Aug 09
Unfortunately the thing I hate most is when someone is blessed and all they can think about is how to get more. I have nothing at this moment. No job, no money, nothing. If I was to get the chance to get any amount of money, I would first break it directly in half. THis is money I would put away so that I would never have to worry about being broke. THe other half would go to buy me a house or fix up this apartment. Depending on the amount. Not once would you hear me say that I wish I had more. Beggars cant and should never be choosers. I thank you so much for your nice thoughts. dl
@anniefannie (1737)
• United States
10 Aug 09
i am glad you are having a better time with everything and are happy now and keep it up.i know how it is when i get down and out i don't like feelng that way. i pray for you that you can find a job they are hard to find now days
@kidboy1988 (110)
• China
8 Aug 09
Hi dloveli,
I was moved by your pose. What a wonderful experience, what a wonderful person. I'm so happy that you're still very optimistic and have such positive thoughts. I believe that your family will be happier.
Say hello to your children. They should be proud of their mother.
Rock on!
@stephcjh (38473)
• United States
8 Aug 09
I am so happy for you also. I am glad to hear that things are coming together for you from the inside out. I have overcome those obstacles also in a sense. I hope you do find a good job soon too. I am failry happy also in my life most of the time now too.
@arcidy (5005)
• United States
8 Aug 09
good for you at times like this its hard to enjoy life with the ecconomy so bad. I havnt been enjoying my life for the past couple of years ive been having to many problems but hopefully I will start enjoying my life soon like you are now maybe ill make a post about it lol.
@jillhill (37354)
• United States
9 Aug 09
I am...I have a very fullfilling life and that is what it's all about....it could be enriched by two things though....a man who loves me....and more time to do the things I love! LOL.....but generally everything is good! In fact people ask me all the time why I am so happy....I usually say....I woke up this morning and alot of people didn't have that opportunity.....
@savypat (20216)
• United States
8 Aug 09
Dear One, you have had a true break through, congratulations. You are learning that we must love ourselves first before we can truly love others. Your life will come together so be sure to be open to all things, your mental well being may not be the only thing that changes. Stay focused on what you have found to be important and do not let other things capture your energy. Blessings
@sblossom (2168)
•
7 Aug 09
I feel happy for you. at last you found true happiness in your life. It's not easy and also not every one can reach the point.
I'm not happy, happy with my life. Because i always feel i have not reached my dream. The ideal life or the life i want to own is still not appear.
Compare to many people in the world I feel i'm a lucky one. So i should not complain and I should cherish what i already have and to be happier.
@ysobelle (202)
• Philippines
8 Aug 09
Life is the most precious that God has given to us. Every sunrise is a blessing. Life is not life until you experience hardships along the way. What is important is we know how to deal with this hardships, we should recognize the reason why God let us experience adversities in life. The reason is clear, to make us even more stronger and to make us human. You are right my friend, whatever happened our family is always there to help us in times we needed them the most. I am pretty sure that you are still welcome in your family it just a matter of time that for them to welcome you again. Children are precious gifts from God, they are their parents joy, I can feel that you are a good mother. Just always remember that happiness can be found in simple things.
Happy mylotting !
@ruzzel016 (241)
• Philippines
8 Aug 09
Hello friend,
I am very happy when I finish reading you discussion today.. And many things remind me also about my life and my problems that I encounter everyday and I want also to be happy like you..
@AmbiePam (94566)
• United States
7 Aug 09
I'm so glad for you. Sometimes a switch just flips in our mind and we see so clearly the possibilities ahead and what we have in front of us. Saying that I was thinking back several years ago where one day I just decided to take charge of my life. I already thought I had taken charge, and in a way I had. But there was so much more. I'm glad you are happy. I'm happy you're happy. lol
Right now I'm not happy, but I'm certainly not unhappy.
@ShirleyBillingsley (1544)
• United States
7 Aug 09
I am so happy, that you are doing much better now. That is just wonderful news.
@Pose123 (21635)
• Canada
7 Aug 09
Hi dloveli, What a wonderful post and what a great attitude! I am very happy for you, it seems you have discovered the secret that you just have to "be happy". Always count your blessings and be grateful for what you have. Going back to school is a great start towards the job you want. As for your mother and siblings, look for the good in them and keep a positive outlook that they too will someday find that happiness that you know. I too have much to be grateful for and yes I am happy. I am retired and don't have a lot of money but I've learned that happiness has nothing to do with being rich in material positions, it's a state of mind. Remember always that we are meant to be happy and life is to be enjoyed. Blessings.
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
7 Aug 09
dloveli hi hAtley here once you learn to love yourself as you
do others then a lot of burdens lift, christ himself said if you dont love yourself you will not know how to love others.so
when we moms take a bit of time out for me time,we are
actually giving more to our kids because an unstressed happy
mom is what your hubby and kids really want. as for your
unemployment knowyou are okay because there are A zillion good
people out there who are also unemployed ,and I am hoping ,no
counting on there being better days and jobs for all very
soon now. my own son is in the same predicament, out of
work and diligently hunting but not yet getting a job.So both of us are holding on now and going to enjoy the ride, my big hope to once more share an apartment with my son and move out of this retirement center.but for now I am happy.
@syankee525 (6261)
• United States
7 Aug 09
glad you seen where you need to make changes and went and did it. yeah i suffer from depression as well. but that shouldn't stop you from having friends. i also have bipolar and i have gone off on family and freinds too
but you know i figure ok the ones who didnt run are my real friends and family. but for me to realize and know when i need to say sorry. all i did at first or when i first meet people who i know i am going to be close to or spend time with i just explain to them i might have a day or two i am a jerk, if i hurt your feeling wait a day or so or even call my wife, and i am big enough to say sorry.
i guess often when some thing we really need them and then we no longer dont as much then i guess they get hurt. just keep tryint to talk to your mom and be honest with your feelings, and its up to her to do with it as she want. if she dont do what you think she should try not to worry about it.
keep up the good job
