Meeting the Ex or His/Her Friends/Family

What type of therapy are you doing to combat this situation? I know I had an experience in grade 2 or 3 that has had an everlasting eafect on my confidence, but nowhere near the level of yours. Is your fiancce aware of this? and does he help by trying to keep any situations to a minimum? Sorry I couldn't be more help.

I feel where you're coming from. . . . I suffer from anxiety and some sort of "inferiority" that makes me feel less than others as well. I've been this way all my life, but it's mostly due to my environment. You need to make sure that you surround yourself only with people that love, respect and appreciate you. I understand that in certain situations (such as your job), that you may not be able to avoid certain people. But as for your life, you can shut out everyone that feeds your weaknesses by affirming your fears. Your man should not be the type of man that would blatantly tell you how better his ex was. There are guys around you that would never disrespect you, but you have to believe that you deserve better so that you stop attracting jerks. Don't put too much thought into who he's been with before. If you feel that you are in a position where your man and his ex's are manipulative and would do something behind your back, then you need to take some time away from being in a serious relationship for a while. It's clear that you have a "wounded spirit". You need to take care of that spirit now by reverting it away from hurtful situations. Yes, it's time for some "spirit rehabilitation". You need to take all those crappy things that were said and done over your lifespan; those things that made you who they/you think you are right now and just tear it all down. I experienced distrust against all men after being involved with abusive guys for years. Right now I'm single and purging myself of all past hurts by doing things that make me feel better about myself. My dear, this is how you love yourself. Live your life and see to your own happiness. Putting all of yourself in a man will only bring disappointment. You are the only one that knows what it will take to make you feel whole about yourself and you are the only person concerned about YOUR happiness. I have lots of male friends and you better believe that they're gonna treat me great if they want my time. I'm too busy raising my child, I'm getting in shape, continuing my education, being counseled,helping other people, cultivating my talents, doing the things that make me feel good about being me, and the Men around me have to get in where they fit in. I rather plan a trip to tour a nearby city, than stay home cooking a meal for a guy that I'm trying to woo into liking or loving me (especially if you're ONLY sleeping with him). You'll still have days where you will feel like giving up, and when that happens, that only means that you've taken eyes off your goals and you need to get back on track. And did I mention that you should Pray? I don't know where your faith lies, but prayer is a source of strength. As a person with a major Anxiety issue, I need to gain strength everyday to help me maintain my composure when up against all of the ugliness in my world. What gives you your strength Princess?

Just seeing my ex's family, his sisters or brothers makes me uncomfortable, and how much more my ex boyfriend..it's really weird since we parted ways badly. And besides I hate him for being talkative, he keeps on telling other people who knew me about our relationship, that is why seeing them especially him makes me sick!huh!

I used to feel the same way that you do ... we agreed that we both have a past and that unless its relevent to the life we are living now, we will never bring anything up... what I found hard is that he had this life that 'I' wasn't apart of and that was special at the time to 'him and someone else'( a hot someone else) My advice ... you need to look at this relationship ... can you live like this? these problems you have now with self esteem are going to be there forever unless you deal with them now ... I am serious. If thats your picture in the corner I'll tell you honestly that you look like a happy, confident, pretty chick ... it's sad that you feel so out of control

How should I feel! It is his or their lost so why should I be scared and afraid to look them in their eyes. I talked with my ex family members and him as good as how we used to talked when we were in the relationship. My girl you need to start loving yourself and be strong. I am sorry I don't feel the way you do because I have a good self esteem. What you need to do is read self development books because after awhile that fiancee of yours will be sick of your behaviour it seems to be one which is disgusting and you need to start taking your lack of self esteem in your hand. My God I am HIV positive and I don't act the way you do. Please get a grip of yourself.

Yes, I have experienced this whenever my ex husband and his new wife are at family functions, etc. So very awkward, and sometimes, downright scary! My situation and experiences differ from your own, but I can identify with your panic attacks and depression and also the low self-esteem that abuse can cause. Never feel ashamed of who you are or how you feel, though. A psychologist helped me a great deal with putting an end to panic attacks and rebuilding my self-esteem after years in an abusive marriage. Might that help you? No one should have to suffer so. Now, I can face the family functions with more confidence, as he and I will always have our grown children and our grandchildren in common. Best wishes and a hug... Karen

My husband's ex is very pretty, much younger than I am, and has given him a child. I know that they are not together for specific reasons and that he is married to me and she is married to someone else, but that doesn't stop me from wondering if he would leave me for her just because she gave him a child. I brought 3 children into our marriage, and I highly doubt that we will ever have a child together. I always wonder if he would leave me for her if she asked him to. I don't think that he would, but there is that little part of me that can't help but wonder. Let's just say I have been down that road before and don't want to go there again. We live fairly close to his ex, but not in the same town. I am an insecure person. Not the greatest of combinations.

Meet the EX ..... I am certainly uncomfortable but sorry I cant describe because I not yet ever feel that situation.lol

Hmm..my ex family lives nearby..actually my ex is THE BEST i`ve ever had..we had to separate for specific reason,not becuase of someone else.He is a government employee in small town in sumatera,Indonesia.We had been together for almost 7 years and we still care for each other,eventhough we are not together again (sometimes i wish he could move to Jakarta but i think it`ll be unlikely.I met his mom several times and we still talked about everything,his works his sisters etc.

just a littel hi would do i guess..

when i was younger i was a butter ball use to have very low self- esteem but after i had my first son i went from a size 18 to a size 9 and im not afraid to be side by side with my soon to be husbands ex gurl i hold my head high like yeah i know he loves me im not worried and thats what you should do