Do you want to be respected or feared?

I am responding to this discussion based on experience. I used to be a choir leader and i did feel both respected and feared. The group respects me because i teach them everything they needed to know about musicality. The group also feared me because i was strict to them. I put distance because i dont want them to be overfamiliar to me, lest they would lag down and not take practices and church service seriously. This has also its flaw because there arent enough new recruits coming in because rumors has it that the group has a terror teacher. The other disadvantage is that the members couldnt sing with confidence because they feared that their old mighty leader would pounch on them like a tiger! hahah Come to think of it, fear came first than respect. After proving them wrong that their tiger leader was actually a sweet kitten, i had somehow neutralized their fear and the distance waned a bit but the respect was there. True enough, some members got a bit lazy. And when times like these do arise, the tiger needs to be unleashed to strike terror again. Fear does come in handy from time to time. One earns fear from respect as much as respect is earned from fear. But you know.. you dont have to be fearful if you respect.

Respected or Feared? hmmmm. That is a good question. Here is what I think, respect is something you earn yes, but a part of respect is earned by fear. Take an Alpha wolf for instance, yes he is respected, you can tell by the way the pack treats him, but they respect him for many reasons, not just cause he can hunt better or provide better, but because he has proven he is better then the others are physically and mentally, if not he would not be leader. Hence their respect for him has a healthy dose of fear, a fear that reminds them he is not one to cross as he has proved he can best them. Now in a job setting, when you prove you are the best for a position, betting out others for the spot, then the respect you earn by proving your ability to do the position you have been given is earned, but will carry with it a small dose of fear from those under you. It is a basic survival instinct, we have a healthy fear of those that can affect our lives, just like the alpha wolf can kick a lower out of the pack if they get out of line, a person in a head position at a job can fire those under them for not following rules. So I am not sure it is possible to be completely respected without being feared a little. Now running things by just threats and things trying to scare people into listening is another story, and has been proven through out history not to work for long. People, and even animals will only cower for so long, before they will fight back. If you push a rabbit far enough it will bite. Earning the respect of those under you by proving you can do the job is the best way to lead, both short term and long term.

i like to be respected and not be respected.It is very hard to find true friends when you are being feared, such as if you are a powerful woman or a man..you have all the bodyguard, money and wealth. your servants respect and follow you because you pay them and they fear you. but, when you lose all your power and influences nobody will befriend you, because they feared you and you always talks in loud voice, shrewd and greedy. But, if you remain humble and God fearing. You could be a leader servants, respected by the people and highly loved. You command respect, awe amd your opinion and advices are being regarded as the advices of the wise with a wisdom that every listeners would like to receive.

Hi tuliorowena. I would definitely want to be respected. Same like you, I could be respected without being feared. I still prefer that people would still be able to talk to me and share insights than being avoided out of fear.

For me, I prefer to be respected. I do not like to be feared by others, because for myself, I do not like those kind of person who looks very serious. So I also want myself to be mild and to be a respected person.

I want to be respected because for me, being respected is much better than being feared since if someone is afraid of me, they will pretend that they respect you as a person even though they dislike you so much. Respect is the ultimate currency in this world as stated by the leader of the gang in the movie "Inside Man" starring Denzel Washington.

I want to be both. I had handled people already and I should say I always want them to respect me and give that it should always mean respecting me is that they had fear on me. Fear to disrespect me, fear to do some inappropriate things that I will get angry with. I'm always friendly with those people I handled and tried my best to give them what they need but not to the fact that they will not respect me anymore. Making a good leader is being responsible enough to understand them and their needs. Respect begets respect. So I believe I also need to respect them as to their rights so they will pay me back the respect.

I prefer to be respected rather than be feared, but to have it we must be able to respect people also, not with the fear, to have it we must have to be strong and powerfull person, because only two of them that will makes people be afraid of you ... that's my thought

I would like both. If they respect me but don't do as I say then there is no point of getting respect. If people fear you but don't respect you then you won't have a good image. You could find them making fun of you behind your back.

Well i ve always wanted to be respected, if u are respected in the community it means that u ve gained reputation buy some legal doings but if u r feared then it something like u have a very bad soul

Good day tuliorowena, Well for me I really want to be respected than to be feared. If you are being feared by other, it only means that you have something or you are making something that made them fear you, and if that something will be lost, their fear to you will also be lost or gone. While if you are being respected, you might done something good to the ones who respected you, or you been a good role model to them, and I think if someone respect you it will be forever and cannot be changed.

respected is way a lot better.. people treat you nice or look up to you because they feel you deserve it... not because they are afraid of you... (besides when people are afraid of you, doesn't really follow that they respect you, and it somewhat creates a negative impression / image towards you)

i want to be respected.getting things done by fear doesn't yield proper output.creativity takes a setback when it is made to work in fear or pressure.and being respected makes subordinates listen to u n follow your words whole heatedly without any hassles which is not the case if feared..

i want to be respected because in that way you can gain a lot of friends and not to be feared and if you want to be respect by your subordinate you need to respect them too......

I prefer respected rather than feared. Feared, means prople afraid of you and they might not be sincere, but respected is different. I want to own respect and friendship from others.

Hello friend, Gaining respect is more difficult and instilling fear in your subordinates is much easier and attractive.I would like to earn respect because if your subordinates fear you then they would talk absurd about you behind your backs and would never respect you from within. They will only respect you out of fear.

I'm sure most of us here would liek to be respected than fear. As a matter of fat i would like to be respected for what i'm and not feared - but it doesn't work that way all the time. Most of the time MILs and FILs demand for respect and i think they want me to be afraid of them - not because of respect but because they are my elders. I don't really believe in this crap thing called fear

i want to be respected but then that respect should not be because of fear. The respect should be pure and independent of anything else.

Hi tuliorowena, I prefer both. Fearing is a kind of respect (my humble thought). So Partial fear and partial respect is expected. I dont want to dominate. But I want to learn so for learning there needs some respect and to control there needs a fear on me. Happy Mylotting.

I want to be respected a lot and feared a little, especially by my younger sisters and brothers.