What Do You Consider A Date To Be?
By singlemommy
@singlemommy (2955)
United States
August 12, 2009 6:50pm CST
Friday night I was supposed to go to a movie with a guy who my mother's ailing friend wanted me to meet a few weeks back. Now since we met, he went to the fair with me. We did a lot of talking that night, then he asked me to go to a movie with him this pass Friday night, but circumstance changed and the ailing friend was sick and couldn't be left alone, so he was going to stay with her and invited me to hang out with him while he sat home with her. I agreed as I didn't feel like it was that big of a deal, she is my friend too and I would do anything for her. Now, when I showed up, she had called another friend to sit with her so me and him could go do something, we didn't do much, just went and got a soda, then went to the park, walked a trail and sat down by the lake and talked, then after that we went back to his house and sat on the porch and talked until about 11pm. Now, I was telling a friend about this and she said, "You totally had a date". I said, "No, we were just a couple friends hanging out and talking". She said, "Well, that is what I consider a date". I think it all depends on the circumstances, I mean, I'm not even sure if he is interested in anything more than just being friends and honestly, I'm okay with "just being friends" with him. But when she said that, it got me to thinking, "what do I consider a date, what do others consider a date? Should I have considered the other night a date?". It just got me thinking. What are your thoughts? What do you consider a date to be?
5 people like this
13 responses
@Thoroughrob (11742)
• United States
13 Aug 09
I am not sure that was a date, but it sure was getting to know each other better. I would not push things right now, just be there for him.
2 people like this
@singlemommy (2955)
• United States
13 Aug 09
Yeah, exactly what I'm thinking. We just got to know eachother a little better.
1 person likes this
@lilaclady (28207)
• Australia
13 Aug 09
I don't think one can disect a date, dates are different things to different people, to me a date is just two people spending time together, just enjoy it for what it is and let it build into what ever it does..just enjoy being together, he sounds like a very nice person....
@singlemommy (2955)
• United States
13 Aug 09
I guess you are right, just spending time together. We are getting to know each other better. I've said, it doesn't matter if it goes somewhere or not, it is nice to just have a friend. I hope he feels the same way, I know I have no intentions of trying to push a relationship on him. If he is interested, then I believe he will say so. Yes, I think he is a nice person too. Thanks for the comment!
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (168721)
• Boise, Idaho
14 Aug 09
I think a date is when two people interact. Usually socially but can be just the two of them as well. Friendship is the key to any relationship. If you keep a firm grip on that and go forward as such anything that comes along besides that is a sweet surprise. Don't push it, don't expect more from it and just try to enjoy what you have. Such is a grand aspect to the adventure of life!
1 person likes this
@tamarafireheart (15384)
•
13 Aug 09
Hi singlemommy,
Don't listen to anyone, this was not a date, it was just tow people being friends and having a talk, maybe it will turn to something more but take your time, just be friends for the moment.
Tamara
2 people like this
@glords (2614)
• United States
18 Aug 09
dates are different things to different people. I think you would be able to tell if it meant more to the boy then just hanging out. I think judging by you're own attachment to this fellow you know that deep down it was more then just "hanging out" to you as well. Be honest!
@danishcanadian (28955)
• Canada
13 Aug 09
For my husband and I, a date is anywhere where we can be together, and have a good time together. Things have been extremely tight these last few months, so we have not been able to do that much. We are happy, even if it's just a trip up to the coffee shop for a mocha, and a little time together.
1 person likes this
@jbrooks0127 (2324)
• United States
13 Aug 09
I consider a date to be any time the two of you get together for more than hanging out with other friends. It would go anywhere from having a cup of coffee and talking to an intimate encounter.
If the two of you are alone and you are enjoying each others company it is a date. Doesn't have to be a planed thing. Typically we think of a date as going to a movie and/or out to eat but it can be almost anything as long as you are together and learning about each other.
1 person likes this
@I_LUV_U (2519)
• India
13 Aug 09
It doesn't matter what really you do or do not do, or how long and where all you two got to hang out together and so forth. A date usually, in my opinion, has to trigger some emotions and when you get back you should not be where you started out on. I mean, on the emotional plane, if you could feel a difference between where you started out and where you landed up after the outing, then you could attribute the experience to a date. Do you get me? You should feel something has changed, it cannot be like when you hang around with a long-time mate whose company you would devour absolutely but when they bid good-bye, you'll end up the same as before saying "Hello".
1 person likes this
@ketybhagat (4123)
• India
13 Aug 09
Well, so long as you are getting to know each other, I dont think you should sit to consider what a real date is supposed to be. Be friends first, good friends. Get to know each other, the likes, dislikes. Being able to talk to each other is also a plus point. Keep your mind open. Do not start seeing stars where there are none or you will end up hurt. Like I said before, one day at a time. Actually you cannot consider dates. They vary from people to people. If someone ask you out on the insistance of somebody else, or just because he is new in town, understand that it is not actually a date, just companionship. If he shows genuine interest in you, then go ahead. Till then, hold back on your emotions. Good Luck.
1 person likes this
@paula27661 (15811)
• Australia
13 Aug 09
I wouldn’t consider it a date as such but more of a situation of two new friends hanging out and getting to know each other which may or may not progress into a date. I imagine a date to be more of a circumstance where the guy is trying to impress the girl with a romantic dinner or something along those lines. I think that if you ever get to the ‘date’ stage you will know it!
1 person likes this
@dex1007 (556)
• Malaysia
13 Aug 09
I think this is a very confusing topic. it has confused us for years and generations. point is, you had some time alone, you talked. if you want it to be a date then its a date. but if you don't want it to be a date, then clearly show signs that this is not a date.
A date to me would be, perhaps, an amount of time spend with this person, we talked, of course there has to be some sort of food or drink, then its officially a date. lol. oh and the person has to be a guy. haha.
1 person likes this
@browneyes1360 (1)
• United States
13 Aug 09
I personally wouldn't consider that a date...expecially since you guys hadn't made any plans. I totally agree that it was just a couple of friends hanging out together...lots of people do this all the time. I would consider it a date when you both decide on a time and place to go somewhere together (other than sitting with your sick friend) such as a movie, dinner, etc.
