looking for advice

hey buddy you need your space and we all need to grow up some time and to get away from the parentals in order to discover ourselves. i lived with my mother till i was about 25, but in between then i was always out and about staying over with friends. my mother wanted for to be that which i was not, i did not feel completely comfortable around her being myself. then i moved to a whole other continent thousands of miles away. not just another country but another continent. i moved from botswana to london england and lived there for a while. i did most of my growing then and i became very independent and i had no one to rely on but myself and i got to experience fending for myself and living alone in my own space with my own rules and stuff. it is a great growing and learning experience and it does not make you a bad child for wanting to get away from them in order to find yourself. your parents at the end of the day are still there for you even though you have moved away. at some point we all have to fly the coop and your parents get that too, they have been through it too. and you are only a drive away or short flight. they are probably preparing for you to fly the coop anyways and are just waiting to hear from you, just broach the topic with them and see how they feel about it. to some degree our parentals do want us to leave the house and get out of their hair and grow up, they want to see if they have imparted any lasting wisdom to you, and to see if those life lessons and skills are paying off and of course their hard earned money they spent on your education. it can be scary leaving home and fending for yourself, but if you have some sort of plan like where you will live, what you will live on and whether you have a job or not, if you secure all that before you leave then you are off to a great start. then just get their, gird your loins and get on with it. good luck man. on a side note one of my favorite bands is from iowa slipknot, heh heh so it can't be all bad heh heh

Hi rockyrm2009, I think you should move with your dad.You need a change in your life and you have got a chance to get that change by going to Iowa.Sometimes you just do what feels right,so just don't think about it too much.GO back to your old friends and i am sure you will feel a lot better. Many of us feels the need of getting from our parents for a little time.Thats not abnormal.But always remember parents love us more than anyone in this planet.

It's never wrong to want to be on your own. You could always give Iowa a chance. If it doesn't work out, move back to California. Just make sure that you keep aside some money so that you can leave Iowa if you want to.

I currently live in Iowa....it's not a bad place to live. Friends are easy to make here. It's not wrong for you to want to get away from your parents sometimes...that's normal. If I were you I would make a list of pros and cons, you know weigh out the factors. And if you do move here, and was home sick you could always go back....

First of all, you shouldn't feel "out of place" because you aren't tanned or something haha. In my opinion you can make yourself part of any place you live or any group of friends, if you want to. If you choose to not want to be apart of the Cali lifestyle.. then yeah, why not move if there's an opportunity?! As for needing to get away from you parents.. I haven't lived at home since I was 17 I'm 21 now). I LOVE living on my own. I love having my own house rules and not having to follow other peoples. I have an amazing relationship with my parents but leaving for school and living on my own has been a huge growing-up process that was well needed.

I have a friend who is from Iowa and he now lives here in California. He loves it here because of the beach weather so often and because of the different atmosphere in the state. It depends on your personal feelings, but personally i could never leave California for another state, especially one more inland.

Hi This is Ahmed here, My sugession is to stick to your current job with your parents, b'coz parents are the most precious gift from god, if they r with you, its like god is always with you. (sorry if you dont like my sugession)

I say go for it get away and experience something new... it adds flavor wisdom and knowledge to your life. you sound young, I think this is the best time to do it. you know you will always have a home to come back to if it doesn't work out. if you don't have children,or husband holding you back I say what are you waiting for. especially if CA is not for you...

hi rocky it sounds like itstime for you to be onyour pwn and iowA is A nice place.its far different from Ca and probably its easier to find jobs. i am inCa and my son' has been out of work for nine months here. jobs are scarce here.Its not wrong to want to leave the nest,you hAve to fly on your own wings now, you Are all grown up. ca is not the wholeworld and probAbly there are better job situations in Iowa. good luck and god bless.

Leaving your parents behind because you are pursuing your dream is not at all bad. In fact, for me personally, you are making your parents proud, because you are living the life that your parents have hoped you to be. An opportunity like that should not be missed at all. Now that we are in global crisis, a job offer like that should not ignored.

Only you can REALLY answer your own question on whethere you should relocated to Iowa. I will advise you as I advised my children when they were growing up and needed to make decisions about what choices to make if they were unpressure. I took them to take a sheet of paper, draw a line down the middle, write "pro" on one side and "con" on the other, and write down all the positive reasons on the "pro" side and all the negative reasons on the "con" side. Which ever side has the most responses is what you should go for. Corny I know, but it really works. I can say, you do need to consider your age, your level of maturity,and the drastic change in the life-styles. Good luck in your decision. I regret my decision to move to Florida and left my family in California, I didn't take my own advice. I considering moving back.

I would have to say the old saying, "go with your gut" or "your instinct" if you feel that you wouldnt be comfortable going to Iowa, then don't go. If you really enjoy living in California and feel as thought that is the place for you, stay there. If you want something new to do and feel independent enough to do so, go hi-tail it to Iowa and check it out lol. Just make sure u have enough family/friends/and funds!!!!

Your situation is kinda the opposite of mine. I grew up in the mid-west (Indiana) and now live in California. I sometimes feel out of place here because I don't look or act like the people out here. Not that they act in a negative way or anything, but different regions have different lifestyles and mannerisms. You know what, though? It's perfectly normal to feel out of place sometimes and it doesn't matter one bit what people think of you. The mid-west is a great place to live and I think you should take that job offer. It's always good for one's person to experience new things.

do what every you think is right. never let any make decision for you. you will regret it if you choose based on someone else's opnnions