Could you manage without your servants or daily help?

That sounds so famliar

I'm with you there nonersays, my dream would be to have a cleaner come in for me and miraculously do all that tedious stuff for me but alas, as you say, it is pure luxury. I am though teaching my son to help around the house so that he won't grow up to be a helpless male who doesn't know how to wield an iron. Like you I'm the help too.

Thea, I'd be happy if someone would come in and just do the laundry if nothign else! I can't wait for my son to be born and old enough for me to give chores too. - grin-

I admire your spunk, lady. Wish u could be on your own. I'm sure u would be happier. Have a good week .

Hi Hatley, so far you're the only one with any kind of help and you don't like it. I'd certainly have no objection to someone coming in and cleaning up but I think I'd definitely miss being able to cook what I fancied when I wanted. That must really bite at your independance. I hope that no one assumes because you're 82 that your faculties are going. When my grandma was in her nineties she still used to knit for the 'old people' which used to raise a smile.

There is one important thing thea .In our place, first of all, the maids would not be as expensive as they are in the west.Even people who do not fall under the very rich category, even those who are of the upper middle class variety have this habit of hiring maids for washing and cleaning.People who are slightly more affluent hire a cook too[ this is a luxury and the slightly less affluent cannot afford this]. As far as cooking methods go, we do have a gas stove at home, a mixie, a grinder,[unlike in olden days when the spices were hand ground on stone mixies and grinders.]Washing machine, air conditioner are also owned by the upper middle class people. We do not eat non vegetarian and so I cannot tell you anything about chicken and meat, because I do not know how laborious htese preparations would get.Otherwise, in many houses males do not help. When a man helps in the kitchen by just lifting some vessels to the table, it is considered a luxury. However, there are very considerate men who do this too.Times are changing.THere are men who can cook too.But, basically, we do not expect a thing from our men.In my case, If I need vegetables I have to get them.Initially, I used to go out and lift bags filled with vegetables once in three days or so.I found this very tedious because I would have to walk some distance and get things and my shoulders would ache. Now, I have them delivered at home because I telephone the vendor and he delivers them home.I do find time for myself because I can work a bit fast and so I manage. But apart from cooking and keeping things in their places, the house needs to be swept[ours is a heavily dusty place] and the floor needs to be mopped daily with clean water and disinfectant. As I am a person who cannot do all this single handedly, I am totally down and out without servants. If the men could not afford this cost of labour, then in such houses women do all the work themselves.Poor things! Thankfully I can afford household help. Hope the sceneario is clearer now. The prime theme is that labor is broadly cheaper than in the west.

Hi kalav, I think I am beginning to understand more about this, I don't consider that I buy pre packaged food here but the chicken is sold ready to cook, not with feathers and head etc, is this how you mean. We have an electric washing machine, is it perhaps that you still do not have this type of thing? What is the cooking method, is it not a modern cooker or is it still done in a traditional way? On first reading I thought I do all those things myslef, washing, cooking, preparing meals, paying bills (not on line), but maybe each of these tasks for you is more ardous because of using traditional methods, I hope that you will enlighten me. Certainly I can do all those things, plus study, use the computer, look after my child, but have never known another way.

Hi kalav, thank you for explaining the situation so succinctly. So basically it falls down to economics and once the people who are servants for the richer can obtain a better income from another source of work, either the richer will have to pay much more for these services within the home, or do without. The situation seems to be on a par with England before the time of Indian independence when many of the people who previously worked in service were able to find higher paid jobs without being in servitude and only the very rich would keep up the tradition of servants. I expect that you will see these changes too in future years so it would be good to know how your house is kept in case it happens sooner rather than later and you have to take on these ardous tasks yourself. I think that in the Western countries which have been industrialised longer and women are used to being more independant outside the home, that men have been forced to help more within the home, so what once would have not been considered perhaps fifty years ago, of a man actually helping, has now had to change. There still remain many idle men in the West who expect to be waited on hand and foot by their wives, but the modern thinking men do accept they need to help in the house but still need to be told often the obvious like pick your own dirty clothes up from the floor.

Here in Italy there are many people from other countries such as Rumania, Albania, Russia and the Philippines who come here and find jobs helping in the house and/or garden. They also could have a position as a live-in help for older people, disabled or not.

hi Mys, our main immigrant population of workers is Albanian but they are barely tolerated here. Rascism is rife between Greeks and Albanians and where they can people would prefer to employ other immigrants such as Polish or Rumanian. Certainly though none would be employed as live in help as the Albanians paved the way in forming distrust amongst the Greeks as have mainly been responsible for the increase in crime in this area which was previously unheard of.

Hi mys, no I don't have any help but I sure wish I did, I loathe housework with a vengeance, it's all so repetitive. It's interesting though that lots of Mylotters from the East do retain actual servants though and I'd be interested to hear their point of view. One of my local friends does cleaning in the area to boost her income and the only problem she's had was with a family who moved over from a country where they did have servants and made her feel exactly like one. If someone is coming to do that for you one should at least treat them with respect. I'm happy to report that that house was dropped from her list of jobs.

I never think about it to tell u the truth. I have always done it just takes me longer now than it use to, lol. To twll u the truth they probably wouldn't do it to please me if i had one.

Hi Jo, I rather thought you would, but don't you sometimes wish you didn't have to, I know I do. Apart from the inevitable cleaning up before the cleaner comes in of course

Sorry, meant to say I didn't think you would not that I thought you would,you come across as far too practical for tht.

How rightly said malpoa! And even if the members of our family are very tolerant and not at all fussy[ -in my case it is so]we take it as a duty to prepare a balanced diet for all and in the process , vegetables must be chopped and so much of other work is there.To compound issues working in the kitchen makes us sweat and we get even more tired than usual.In which place are you? If it is Mumbai, please do recommend a cook for me.I am struggling to find one.

Hi malpoa, again I stand corrected on memsaab. This is fascinating that you have two people in your home to do everything except pour water. This practice has really become outdated now in the West except among the very rich. Is it the habit of many to live as you do or is it just the preserve of the very rich, just curious? I presume that the men don't help in the kitchen much there, that is male family members.

Hi thea, To be frank getting a maid can be an uphill task but it does come cheap. In our case our part time maid works for less than two hours and she works for three other families in the same building, so it is a boon to have one like that. Regarding the one who stays full time it is a bit expensive. But considering the laziness of the members here (so lazy that they would call out her name even for a glass of water inspite of the water jug right near them say less than 10 feet!!!) it seems like a necessasity. It is actually that they got so used to her service that they wouldnt be able to carry out their chores in life without her. Yes it is true to an extent that comparatively men work less. Here my husband makes breakfast once a week and helps me out when we have guests for lunch or dinner.

hi thea, thanks for the comment,have a nice day

Hi yugasini, I stand corrected on memsaab, thank you. I am intrigued by your wording, do people in business call employees staff or servants, in the West they would be consided emplyees. So the servants in India are there to help the employers in the household, do you actually still call them servants or employees,

Hi dlr, I think this will be the typical response and was really hoping for more response from those in the East who still keep this practice. Sometimes they move from their homeland to the West and have a complete culture shock as the riches they had in their homeland, with land and servants, is not a lifestyle they can maintain once in the west. I wouldn't be comfortable with the idea of a servant, I think you have to be brought up that way, but I sure would like to be able to afford a cleaning lady, rather than like you, have to do it all myself.

Hi versio, I presume you grew up having servants around. It is good that you are able to manage without them and that must lead to appreciation for the work they actually did, maintaining a house in the heat is a difficult job. In most western countries help with a child is usually taken when the mother has to return to full time work and then usually employs a nanny or au pair to look after the child.

Hi angelajoy, I am glad to see you use the term helper rather than servant and you explain well why you employ a helper. Laundry in the west is not a big job at all, everything goes in to an automatic washing machine, hung up to dry, and ironed if necessary. Is the laundry there a more difficult proceedure and more time consuming, here I find it a much easier chore than preparing meals or cleaning? I take it that your helper lives in the house as you provide extra benefits.

Hi vingyan, it is interesting that in Malyasia they hire maids from outside the country, is that because that now Malaysia is more developed the local people do not need this kind of work. Quite a few people have commented that they are reliant on help and I am wondering if it is mainly the people who grew up in that fashion and less the modern way.

Hello radx, this is becoming interesting, I could not imagine feeling comfortable with a servant in the house but you are more relaxed with one. Is it the custom for your servant to come every day or does she have a day off? I think the nearest I could imagine is to have someone to come in and clean once a week, that I would adore as I hate housework.

Hi Donna, I didn't think that servants would be the norm in China, after all it would not have been acceptable in the recent past. The view would appear to be more like the Western view where people do not have servants but sometimes have help in the house when coping with busy schedules. So far it appears to be the more traditional thing in India.

Hello mith, this is interesting as I think the last three posts have all been from residents of India who feel the oppostite, that they could not live without their servants. I have a friend who at the moment is supposed to be not moving around due to a medical condition, and his Mother visited and went into the village and employed him a maid to come and cook and clean for a few weeks. He refused to hire her as he knew he would feel uncomfortable with someone else in his home and preferred to struggle on without the help.

if i could find woman that could straighten them out,she'd be worth every penny maybe one of those older grandmother types that rule a house with an iron fist.

Brilliant scarlet woman, I just fell off my seat laughing too hard. Come on admit it, you'd love your bunch of slobs to be reined in by a really tough maid who taught them to pick up their own dirty washing. You'd probably have to pay double though

Well if you find one make sure you take yourself away for a mini break while she sorts them into shape.

Hello smart, that sounds like a good balance, to have help but not to be totally reliant on it and especially to teach your children to be independant with household chores. The example I gave in my introduction was rather extreme but I could certainly imagine this old lady ringing her bell because perhaps her book had fallen onto the floor. Apparently the family used to dread her visits as she treated them all like servants.

Hi snugglebunnies, it's interesting that you mention the last part about the lady who is used to having servants in India as I have had a few responses from people there who do indeed have servants and I wondered how they would fare if up sticked and moved to the West as rich in one land does not translate to rich in another. You really need to train those children of yours up, you could start with a really fun game called let the kids play at being servants for the day.

I could definitely get used to having someone come in once a week to do all the cleaning, that's for sure! I wish I had known my husband earlier but we only met a little under 5 years ago. His first marriage was to a Taiwanese woman and she did practically everything for him. After he was divorced from her, his sister did a lot for him when she visited or if he visited her. (They lived about 175 miles apart.) He would buy frozen dinners in between the times he saw his sister but she would cook up a storm and leave him with tons of food. He most definitely is a lazy pig but he does his own laundry. Our home is one story but has a basement and that's where the washer/dryer are. Stairs are very hard for me so he at least does his own laundry and even does some of mine occasionally. I've always been a fiercely independent person and raised my sons to be the same way. I taught them to cook, clean, even iron their own clothes. One of them is still a slob and hates to cook but the other one loves cooking and does pick up after himself. Both will help me with anything I ask, though. The problem is, whenever they are doing anything for me, I'm right there beside them doing whatever I can and usually spend the next few days paying for it. Fibromyalgia is not a very forgiving disease! There's no way I'd be a servant to my husband if I worked full-time! No way! I've always done more than my share of everything without complaining but if I worked a full-time job and my husband expected me to do everything around the house, he'd find himself out on the street before he realized what happened! I've seen a lot of so-called "Christian" men who will quote the Bible about the woman taking care of her husband, but they seem to ignore the fact that, in Biblical times, women did not have full-time jobs outside the home. These days, it's almost essential that both spouses work. It's only fair that both share equally in the housework, too. Fairness is a huge issue with me. But, yeah, I think I could get used to someone coming in once a week to clean the place. I don't think I could just sit there and watch, though. I'd have to be up and doing some of the cleaning. It's just who I am.

Hello Mentalward, you've just brightened up my evening with the lazy pig of a husband and the slob of a son. There's no way I'd ever take on a man who couldn't do the essentials as I don't see my role in life to look after a man or pick up after him. When I was married he didn't know how to use an iron or washing machine so I emphatically did not know how to use a brush, mop or hoover. My current man lives indepedently and is more than capable of running his own house, in fact he's a bit laid up at the moment and when his mother visited she hired a maid to come in and he refused to hire her as didn't want someone hanging around the place.She did send all his washing out two hours away back to where I live to a friend of mine who does laundry as a sideline, my friend was a bit taken aback at receiving his things from his mum as she thought I ought to be doing it. I find that a strange thing for her to think but then it kind of reflects her own subservient role in her own marriage. She's English not Greek by the way. Anyway don't take on too much and make sure the pig does all your laundry

Hi mentalward, it sounds as if you should have trained your husband up to help you out when he was younger and now he's probably been let off for too long to change his ways. At least it sounds as if your sons have been brought up to help out with things so good for you, maybe they won't end up being so useless around their own homes. I'm already bringing my ten year old son up to be able to do things for himself and to be able to manage without a woman waiting on him. Some of my male friends here believe this is wrong and it is the woman's place to do everything in the home, up to and including putting the fork of food into his mouth. I'm friends with a Greek married couple and when we eat together she cuts all the food up for him on his plate, in a taverna, yet she has a full time job too. I'm like you, I couldn't imagine someone living in and doing everything but I wish I could afford someone to do all my cleaning. One of the earlier respondees from India though is so used to having everything done by servants that she mentioned she would be able to pour herself a glass of water though.

hmm right now it depends ..in delhi the families who have servants or maids usually earn from 1000 to 4000$ or more a month.. and no Indian woman work ..they do take care of kids..they help them in study..they might be doing a job too.. and since Indians usually eat at home all 3 times and they want it freshly made so kitchen work too and believe me thats a lot even with a servant. But yes they don't do dishes or cleaning or mop floors .

one more thing if you want only for doing dishes and cleaning your house ..then the maid would come daily once or twice to your home as agreed and would do it and it really cost not much..costs only about 10 to 15$ a month if you are living in a apartment in Delhi. If the house is big then it can go up to 30$.

Hi agrim, you are the first one to mention the costs of employing full time domestic help and it does indeed sound very inexpensive but I do not know what ratio of a family income that would cost. So are the Indian women generally as helpless as the British lady I mentioned and do they treat their help as employees or as servants, the latter seems to imply that the servant would have a more servile attitude to their employer.

Hi vandana, I have learnt a lot about why the Indian households employ servants from my friend Malpoa. it seems that every aspect of housework would be left to the woman otherwise as the men appear to be totally helpless. The pay sounds extremely low but of course I have no idea how the Rs value is in Euros but I presume that the whole cost of living there must be very cheap in comparison to here where prices have now made us the most expensive country in Europe.