His dad asked my name!

Hello, First, im sorry I dont know what Hindu family mean but I came from traditional that require the girl marry before the boy. I have two brothers and only a girl in the family, so I have to get marry first... some families are so trick about this marriage thing but if your man is strong to fight and show them how the real life is then it will be ok. Im sure they will agree. well, if his father wants his sister to get marry first then let it be, but he has to be Ok for you and him are dating too. and second question about name, he might want to know your name and want to see how pretty you are... he might change his mind once he gets to know you. wish you good luck

I heard that hindu family is very strict the marriage. Th people come from the different classes can't marry together. If your family name is not a noble name you will not get the permit of that. I think his dad ask your name maybe was not a real good sign. But I still wish you can marry with you boyfriend. Hope that only my excess worried. happy mylot!

I think it is good sign. wait for some time. It seems the guy also like you. I hope at last there will be some way and acceptance.

Perhaps it was his way of starting a conversation. How did you respond? Did you give him a smile and tell him your name or did you just say that your nmae is.... How did he respond to your reaction? There are a few things that one needs to study before giving a frank opinion, but if he smiled back and nodded, its a good sign.

its quite difficult to find the words that makes u understand the situation unhurt..lemme try my best.. well.the reason his dad wants younger sister to get married first is,once his once marries a foreigner,he fears if society treats him an outcast.. the psychology in semi orthodox hindu families is an intercaste marriage makes him n his family agnostic and is looked down in society.. that was scenario ages before...now its not there,to that extent..but a psycho pull down do exists in fathers generation.. so his father fears if your wedding to alok comes in a way of getting a good groom to his sister..so he wants her to be married off first... and knowing ur name might be just out of curiosity...so no problems to your relation..

Ummm I am slightly confused here, but maybe that is because I am not too familiar with the Hindu and their lifestyle. So why are they going to marry off his sister first because he wants to get married? Is him asking your name a good sign, or it it a bad thing because he knows and doesn't remember?? LOL Sorry I am just kind of confused!

Hi there bluehibiscus, Alok is his name! I think I got it wrong in previous posting. Ok. I do not know much about Hindu culture but the Dad is treatening to marry off his younger sister first? I dont understand that either. And the fact that he is asking for your name shows some interest there isnt it? Your love towards Alok must be very strong to overcome this obstacle. Not many people can make it, I wish you all the best!

I am not sure about him asking for your name. I think it at least shows some curiosity, and possibly an openess to learning more about you. If he objected to you flat out, then he wouldn't care what your name was. Of course, he could also be asking for it so he knows what name to use when he's cursing you. I have never liked families interfering with marriage to this degree. I have always said it is about the two of you, NOT THEM. I would try to respect their wishes as far as can reasonably go, but they should not have all the power in the relationship. And your future husband is going to be married to you, not them. Your family and you should be his priority. I know that is a hard concept for a lot of people, myself included. But you still want to be on good terms with them, so compromise is so essential. I've actually never heard of an order of getting married when it comes to boys in the family, only that for some the oldest daughter should be married first. So he's the oldest, but the girl must be married first, so he has to wait. But what if in your family, you should be the first to get married, but have a younger sib waiting on you? I find it all confusing and wierd (what does it really matter) but I'm trying to be culturally sensitive here. Good luck, I hope this works out for you.

bluehibiscus It is good sign to ask your name. At the same time in hindu family, you cannot get marry till your sister or big brother get marry first. Wait foer some time try to understand each other you have sufficent time to marry. First understand your life partner.

heyy i am from a hindu family..well i dont have any siblings but there is no such rule a s such in our culture..and besides this is the 21st century..how can anyone say things like this??if i had a brother 6 years older than me i am so sure my parents would have got him married first..maybe your boyfriend's family is really conservative to inflict such rules..or maybe they have some problem with caste and creed and all that..

Its really tough , If you really love him try to win the dads heart cause if you do, you are home free