Do you find it easier to trust someone online, or offline?
By DCLehnsherr
@DCLehnsherr (1037)
August 18, 2009 4:23pm CST
This has also been inspired by a discussion I have been having with someone on here (though it is an unrelated topic so don't worry about that!)
Anyway, the topic set me to wondering, do you guys (and girls) find it easier to trust a person on-line, or off-line? And why do you think that is?
On a personal level I can definitely say that I find it easier to trust people on-line, as odd as that may perhaps seem with all the tales you sometimes hear! To me, especially in a place like this, people can seem more genuine. Of course I don't trust just anyone and all that, but if I start chatting to someone on a one-to-one level on-line I get to that stage where I trust them a lot quicker than in reality/off-line. In reality/off-line I tend to be too busy second guessing things, and people to trust them. That and for me the element of distance is important as it means that if someone does betray me (which I hope they wouldn't) they can't hurt me too much since they don't know the people around me so can't turn them again me.
But I wonder if that is just me though lol!
Thanks for reading and sharing your opinions,
Dranz
1 person likes this
13 responses
@here2learn (210)
• United States
18 Aug 09
Sometimes I can tell ppl different stuff when I meet them online cuz I know that I will never meet them in real life and so I have nothing to be ashamed off or I know that they will not be able to rub anything in my face later in life. On the other hand I will only ever truly trust people that I meet in real life.
1 person likes this
@sblossom (2168)
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19 Aug 09
Although I do have a few friends I met on internet, but I still think we should be careful with the online friend. So my answer about which one is easier to be trusted is the friend I made in my off line life because we have more ways to know off line friends. Compared to these ways we just can know online friends through writing and talking. If we can contact online friends in our real life later after we knew each other well, then it would be easier to get trust from each other.
@DCLehnsherr (1037)
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19 Aug 09
You know I actually really agree with what you said in the last sentence. The people I consider true friends, and who I trust completely even though I met them on-line, are people that I have exchanged addresses and real life things with. I never thought of that before but maybe that real life contact, after the chatting etc on-line, is the reason I actually trust them!
Fantastic response, you actually made me think lol :)
All the best,
Dranz
@hmfryklund (389)
• United States
19 Aug 09
I actually quite agree with you lol. I have been betrayed by, literally, every single best friend that I had, and now I have no one to completely confide every little detail of my life too. I do have my husband, but I need someone that I can vent about him to LOL :P... I agree that it seems easier to trust those online, because it isnt like they are going to tell all the people that know you, about your secrets or what you say, you know? Telling people in reality your secrets, sucks, because the next day normally everyone knows.
@DCLehnsherr (1037)
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19 Aug 09
YES, finally someone who knows where I am coming from!! I was starting to think there was something odd about me that made me so pro on-line and anti off-line therefore I am glad to know that if there is I am not the only one with it lol! It probably sounds strange but I hope you can find that person to confide in, maybe even on here :)
All the best and thank you for you response, I was definitely very relieved to read it lol!
Dranz
@kitty42 (3923)
• United States
19 Aug 09
What a great question, I have trust issues in general I would have to really, I mean really feel comfortable with you to say that yes I trust you, so online or off-line it takes time for me to really trust a person, as for me I am honest all the time, when I talk to people online and they ask me a question sometimes i say to myself why can't I be like everyone else and just make things up, no I tell them the truth, that can hurt you at times because I found that people online are not always who they seem to be, depending on the forum, here at mylot we have a better chance of actually getting to know a person because some of these topics are really deep, and when you read something someone responds too, it gives you a good idea who they are, so with that said no I don't trust anyone online or off to easily.
Trust is a really strong word, and when you say you may tell someone something online but you don't really worry because they don't know the people in your everyday life so they can't hurt you, I would not say you trust them at all, if you did then they would be familiar with your everyday associations and you would not doubt for a second that they will betray you, considering the fact that you trust them. this is just my take on the word trust, and a person would have to prove to me that I can trust them, I trust my mom/brother/daughter/grandson/1 sister/1 friend/niece/me, these are the people that I truly trust,short list I know, better to be safe than sorry.
@kitty42 (3923)
• United States
19 Aug 09
Thanks for your wonderful response to my post, always remember when I respond to you, or anyone else for that matter know that my response comes from my heart.I have a friend online that has my address as well, I can't say we are the best of friends but I sent him something so he has my address, I don't believe that he will ever try to hurt me, he is a good guy with a wife and a lot of children lol, so he don't have the time to come after me, lets hope lol
There will be some people online who you truly connect with and that is great, but only time can tell if they are truly worthy of your trust. again thanks for the response have a wonderful day, when you respond I promise I will reply.smoochess
@DCLehnsherr (1037)
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19 Aug 09
That second paragraph is a very interesting way to look at things. I hadn't really considered that the distance is also a sign that you might not trust someone. That said the 2 people I was thinking of when I was making the topic do have my address, and visa versa, so I guess if they were desperate to stab me in the back they could manage it, though I don't imagine they will lol! As for other on-line people though I definitely take your point and think you are correct, I guess I forgot about the degrees of trust you can have! Consider me enlightened :)
Many thanks for the fantastically thought provoking response,
All the best,
Dranz
1 person likes this
@standbymeforever (887)
• Australia
18 Aug 09
Thats a really good question. Now when you talk about someone online it could be someone you dont know at all really or someone maybe you know a little bit or it could be a best friend. I feel that if you are talking to someone you dont know at all you shouldnt trust them because it just cant be there the trust without knowing someone in person. People online can fool you into thinking they are some great person and you can get suckered into it really quickly. In person however you mmight know the person a little better and find it easier to tell if they are true to there word or not..things that also help are seeing the expressions and body language as that is a great way to tell if people are fibbing. I think the best thing to do is allways follow your heart and trust yourself first before you trust anyone else.
@daryljane (3406)
• Philippines
19 Aug 09
The last time i trusted someone on-line end up betraying me..so i dont think on-line chatting is good for me either. Offline, its also not that easy, because you can see the person first hand, you can see the facial expressions and the movements..so its hard to trust wherever.
@yuansplace (543)
• Switzerland
19 Aug 09
Not anymore. Many people online do cheat. Because of experiences, I hardly trust people online because you do not know them personally, you have no basis to trust them. Any words can be very sweet but when you meet the person in real, he or she might be another individual. I can trust a person if I have known him or her for longer time. Happy Mylotting. Keep posting. Have a nice day.
Jeff
@hunnie1979 (270)
• United States
18 Aug 09
Well me personally I don't trust many people at all. It takes me a while to trust any one. I guess that's the kind of person I am. I have to you you for at least a few months.
Maybe in my past I have been hurt by a few people and all so have been lied to ,and talked about behind my back and so forth.So I guess I chose who I have in my life,and mostly its family. The ones I trust.
@polo_princess (803)
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18 Aug 09
I too find it easier to trust people online, i dont really know why, perhaps its because i cannot actually se them so i just have to take their word for things rather than in real life you take into account things like looks and body language when getting to know and trusting someone.
Interesting question youve brough up there 
@DCLehnsherr (1037)
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19 Aug 09
Many thanks for the complement on the question, I get a strange buzz when someone says things like that :)
I really liked what you said as well. My main reason for not trusting people is definitely body language, mostly because I don't have a clue what mine is saying to the other people, or theirs is trying to say to me. It is just so complicated! On-line though I never have to worry about any of that and so can just be myself (and if the person is untrustworthy my weird sense of humour, and talkative nature generally scares them off lol!)
Many thanks for the response,
Dranz
@thelittlenaga (226)
• India
19 Aug 09
Is it some kind of rhetorical question? I don't think there are many people who would easily trust someone online rather than offline.
@rhoday (152)
• United States
19 Aug 09
No, I don't trust people online at all. I hate to say it but I don't. There are just way to many freak's out there. Look at what happened to my daughter inlaw. Having someone stalking her all over the place online, and threatening to kill her. The next thing she knew they had photos of her kid's that they had taken in her yard. So this just show's you dont trust people online.
@DCLehnsherr (1037)
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19 Aug 09
Yikes, I am sorry about what happened to your daughter, though it does make me curious. If you don't trust people on-line, how do you feel about being here and taking part in discussions? As a person if I don't trust someone, or some form of situation, I avoid that person/situation like the plague to avoid running into those issues and being hurt again. So is there something different about myLot that allows you to interact here without feeling too nervous, or do you watch carefully what you say, and where you say it, in order to feel safer?
Thanks for your response though, and I hope that the nice people here and helped to change that view a little :)
Dranz
