Do they really want advice???? If not, why ask?

I they think they already know what to do, but there waiting for another person with the same idea so they know there idea isn't a stupid one

Hi Karen! You have a very valid point to make. I've also observed the same that some of the users seek advice, however, they do not tend to agree with our advice and we also donot come to know whether they were genuinely seeking our advice or just for the sake of it. We cannot come to know whether they actually acted on our guidance or advice. If you observe these points for a particular user, it would be better to ignore his/her discussions. I've seen some of the users are always complaining about their friends/colleagues/bosses/relatives and keep posting discussion to seek our views, irrespective of the fact whether they really want our advice, I feel they just want to vent out their anger against that particular person(s). (If I notice that any of the user/friend is doing it quite often, I ignore his/her discussions).

hi karen, you are right,when they are in some trouble they came to you for advice,some time it will worked out some times not,you do suggest advices to them the rest will be done accordingly,have a nice day

Hello my friend PeacefulWmn9 Ji, To deal with such charcters and many other problems, I have following few suggestions/way of application in life, I even might have told you earlier as well. So try out of following :- [b]"S A T S A N G If one can practice/implement any of the following, one will owe the whole world, free from all worldly bickering: - (A) ”If You Can balance / stable your mind, when they are otherwise around you and at the same time blaming you”. (b) “If you have belief on yourself, when others have doubt on you and at the sane time you strongly oppose their belief of their doubt” (c) “If you can wait for Good / Bad days embark and you do not loose patience/get disheartened of waiting”. (d) “Everyone is deceiving you and you are not”. (e) “ Every body hates you and you do not, at the same time, you are not proud to be ‘good’ and ‘wise’. (f) “ If you Can dream, but do not allow them to overpower you, and you Can ‘think’ but at the same time, do not live into dreams of ‘thinking”. (g) “If you can welcome ‘gains’ and ‘defeat’ with open hearts and they do not unbalance your mind”. (h) “If you Can accept your own words in twisted/mutilated /distorted form happily by ‘fools’ and they do not involve you in their bad plans”. (i) “ If you can bear, the items made by you ‘raised to ashes, for which you took whole life to build them , and at the same time you can once again order your tired hands to restart making”. (j) “ If you can take one chance to reduce your gains in your life, ‘loose’ or ‘gain’ (k) “If you can, after loosing every bit in your life, get ready fresh to obtain the same with total energy from all corners of your body and mind, without uttering a word even”. (l) “ If you Can compel your heart, mind and limbs, when they ARE so tired and refuse to accept any thing, except that your ‘belief’ and ‘desire’ to order them that they have to march forward and not falling back”. (m) “ If you can roam in crowds, but do not allow your ‘thoughts’ and’abilities’ to wander stray, and you live with emperor, but do not neglect common man “. (n)“ If you ARE unharmed by people loving you and people hating you”. (o“ I you Can respect everybody within the limits, at the same time nobody”. (p)“ IF YOU REMEMBER THE UNEXQUSED MOMENT IN YOUR LIFE, AND EXPLAIN THE REASON FOR THE SAME”. Then, the whole world belongs to you only and every thing that exists on this, at the same time you fall under the category of ‘ACTUAL INSAN’, which is greatest achievement in the life than any thing else”. (OM)"[/b] May God bless You and have a great time.

Hi Karen...I agree with you. I don't know why people ask for advice if they don't want to read what others have to say. The whole thing in asking for advice in my opinion is hoping someone can help you sort the problem that you may be having and even suggest something to fix it. I say if you don't want to hear it then don't ask it..lol flutterby

Sometime the people only want to know "what response from other people". And may be they only confuse with themself "what I do now" so the only say without any serious purpose. Some people do that to look around them, who are a good response and they want make a friend with the best response.

hi peacefulwmn9 sometimes I think the person is just looking for someone to talk to, just tocry on someones shoulder as no matter what I suggest, this elderly lady says,no I think that wouldnt work,or I have already tried and its always this same litany. She complains her kids dont come to see her, I suggest she remind them that they havent come for a long time. oh I couldnt do that. Then'she says someone has been in my dresser. I say tell the' administrator. I dont think she'd listen . She doesnt like 'the food,I say you can order a cheese sandwich or ham and cheese instead.oh well I'll think about it. And All the time I am thinking why do you say the'same dArned thing to me every day if you dont really want my advice. but she is my table mate and I do like the woman. Guess at my age I am supposed to have wisdom.oh well.

I know exactly what u are talking about. I don't ever give advice unless i'm ask & like u say they go right on & do what they want. I like to get other people's advice about things sometimes. I have some close friends that i can ask for their opinion & i'm so glad i do.

I am laughing because the same thing happens to me sometimes. Someone asks for advice you give it and they say what they are going to do and why your scenario won't work for them. It's soooo funny. Actually, it's a little pathetic. Are they just asking to get a response of what they did so they can console themselves that they did the right thing? I think people do that just to have a discussion and then to make themselves feel better by belittling other people's opinion. I don't know why people do that!

This seems to happen to me all the time. People seem to love to come to me for advice and some people take it, but most people don't actually want to hear what I have to say. I think they want "advice" hoping that I'm just going to say whatever it is that they want to hear to validate them, but it doesn't always happen like that and they get mad if it doesn't. My sister does this all the time. She's got crappy relationships with guys and she likes to ask my opinion about what she should do in her relationship and when I tell her she usually says something along the lines of she knows she should but that's not what she wants to do. So, basically, she just wants me to say that my advice is to do what she wants to do not what she knows she should do. All you can do is just give them whatever advice you have and let them take it at face value. Whether or not they take your advice is up to them and you can't really do much more than that. ^_^

As for myself, whenever I start a discussion about something I need help with, then I am being real honest. I have posted a couple of discussion that I truly needed advice. In return I got exactly that from members on mylot. I personally know no one on here and to think that there is people out there that are willingly to help with problems is just a joyous thing to me. I think that people who respond with rude remarks are just plain being mean and rude. Have a good day and keep lotting.

sometime people ask actually just for say on problem them. They not really want advice, one more time, just want to know what your opinion

Yes. I agree with you. It's not all about you giving them good advice. Some people just want you to listen to their problems. You probably are the kind of person who they can really trust and can depend on, someone who isn't so judge mental. It makes them feel more comfortable talking to you more than anyone they know. But beware, some people only want to feed off you positive energies. They really do not want to change. Not to mention, they will even ask you for your sound advice just to make you feel more important. Does any of this make any sense to you? It has happened to you, me, and many more. This is a common thing.

I often want advice for certain things, which i cannot decide immediately. The advice should be either from the close friend and the colleague. ADvice is required when there is a unsolvable issues.

The human mind is so simple and so complex at the same time. Often, people ask for advise thinking that the adviser may look at the perplexing problem from another angle or another aspect than they are looking. In case you have not been able to do so, the person querying may tell you so, and I see no reason to be offended, unless you encounter rudeness or vulgarity directed at you by the initiator of the discussion. Take a chill pill and leave it as it is. All that you have lost is a few minutes of your time for dispensing advice that pays you about 2-3 cents on mylot. No offense intended. Life's Lovely! Love & Live Live! Live & Let Live!