why is it difficult to get over the past & just live in the present?
By ADELIZA07
@ADELIZA07 (47)
United States
August 19, 2009 1:02am CST
One of my biggest issues is that there are certain things I just can not seem to leave in the past and well it makes it difficult to make things right in the present to work towards the future so tell me how did you do it what worked for you i am sure that there is someone that can throw me some sort of feedback in regards to the topic... hope to hear from someone.
3 responses
@Laurie1986 (384)
• United States
19 Aug 09
I agree with jshekhar...I'm 22 and I'm terrible at this, too. I think the best solution is to keep yourself busy, because the only real cure is time and the only way to make time go faster--that is, to make it seem like it's going faster--is to fill it. Fill it with friends, family, good work, and the things you love to do.
@ADELIZA07 (47)
• United States
19 Aug 09
THanks for your response and for your advice on the... keeping myself occupied.. that is definetly a great idea the problem is usually when i am not doing that ... that is what happens my mind brings it back because it reminds me of so much pain that i never want to experience again
@Laurie1986 (384)
• United States
19 Aug 09
Oh, I totally understand. That happens to me, too. Jai Pausch, who is the widow of the late Carnegie Mellon professor Randy Pausch (he wrote The Last Lecture) remarked in an interview that when her husband was terminally ill and she found herself dwelling on it, her therapist advised her to say "not helpful" over and over again to herself and force herself onto a lighter plane of thought. It doesn't always work, but it does sometimes.
@ADELIZA07 (47)
• United States
20 Aug 09
That is interesting thanks for the positive feedback i truely am greatful for your advice :0)
@jshekhar (1562)
• India
19 Aug 09
I do not know your age so the solution I am suggesting might be difficult for you.
I did have a relationship and I came out of it about 10 months back. The thing is it is not difficult if you think practically. I only think about my future and how to improve it. Those who don't care for you don't deserve your time so its best to completely stop thinking about the past. Meet new people, make new friends and you'll really be fine.
@ADELIZA07 (47)
• United States
19 Aug 09
Thank you for your response and for your advice it is always great to hear things from all views and to see how others can relate.
@med889 (5941)
•
20 Aug 09
Well I have always had this similar impression before, infact we can say that we have forgiven what the past had given us but we still fail to understand that we can forgive but cannot easily forget what we have endured, so it will take time, and then we will keep on thinking about the past yet. Maybe to start doing things which you like will perhaps let us to have only good memories from the past.
