If you married a divorcee, would you live in their house, and share the bed
By mipen2006
@mipen2006 (5528)
Australia
10 responses
@paula27661 (15811)
• Australia
20 Aug 09
I went through a divorce and by the time I met my current husband I had moved out of the house and living in my own place which is something I needed to do because my original home was what we had chosen together along with all the furniture in it and it just didn’t feel right living with all the memories.
I would imagine that a new relationship would be better off starting in a new place that is both yours but that is not always practical.
I consider my ex as part of my life and I still have photos, mementos etc. and although I don’t display or look at them very often I still hold them as memories; not all were bad and my current husband accepts that as part of what has made me who I am today.
1 person likes this
@mipen2006 (5528)
• Australia
20 Aug 09
Very well said, paula, and very sensible of both you and your husband. Unfortunately, I wasn't so lucky. I arrived at "OUR" house one Friday evening, for my weekend access, to find not a sign of life, and not a stick of furniture left in the house. There was a plate,a chair, s tool actually, knife and fork, and that's about it. Antique furniture that had been in my family for generations, my valued coin collestion, and all the pictures of my children, all gone. And that began a very sad, and depressng part of my life. Enough from me, thanks for sharing.
@paula27661 (15811)
• Australia
20 Aug 09
That would have been devastating! I was fortunate because I did not break up on bad terms and he practically left me averything which wasn't much and we did not have children so it was a simpler situation. Thankfully you have someone now that loves you as you deserve!
@tigeraunt (6326)
• Philippines
20 Aug 09
i havent thought of that until this question popped up because there is no divorce in our country.
i guess our first conjugal property will be a new bed, if ever. 
you didnt say what you will do, allow or not allow to share the bed?
ann
you didnt say what you will do, allow or not allow to share the bed?
ann1 person likes this
@mipen2006 (5528)
• Australia
20 Aug 09
I'm aware there's no divorce in the Philippines, but you can have a marriage annulled, can't you, ann? To be honest, I don't know what inspired me to start this discussion, but there are some interesting opinions. Thanks for your contribution.
1 person likes this
@tigeraunt (6326)
• Philippines
20 Aug 09
could be. but that would be a long tedious court battle and expensive as well. hey, you didnt answer my question.
will you? or will you not? 
ann
ann
@mipen2006 (5528)
• Australia
20 Aug 09
That's what I like to hear, the past is past, let's get on with today. Thank you for sharing.
@sample2009 (131)
• United States
20 Aug 09
well, I will insist on buying a new bed. I don't like sleep on a bed that he/she sleep with his EX before. It likes live under his/her EX shadow, it makes me uncomfortable.
1 person likes this
@mipen2006 (5528)
• Australia
20 Aug 09
That wouldn't bother me in the least. Thanks for responding.
@fruitcakeliz (2638)
• United States
20 Aug 09
I have often wondered if i am the only one who has ever had these thoughts. It doesn't even have to be someone who was divorced..just a new boyfriend in general.
It has never weirded me out enough to not sleep there or stay over, as if i did iwould be hypocritical, as i have shared my own bed with others in the past as well, but i will admit that the first few times i stay the night, to make love in that bed, then to fall asleep later on, i lay there thinking about the fact that my partner has been with at least one other woman in this bed.
As i said, it doesn't weird me out enough to force anything to change, as i know that isn't feasable or really even reasonable...but i do think about it....
1 person likes this
@mipen2006 (5528)
• Australia
20 Aug 09
Hi fruitcakeliz, I wonder if there is a different attitude between males and females on this subject. As far as I'm concerned, as long as the original relationship is over, then, so be it. Thanks for your contribution.
@fruitcakeliz (2638)
• United States
20 Aug 09
which is exactly why i never mentioned anything to him about the fact that i thought about it at times LoL. i know that i can get caught up on silly little things like that, that guys would never ever think of. I am sure he never once had a second thought about the fact that i have slept with other men in my bed....and after the first couple of nights, i never really thought about it agian either, as i was more and more comfortable in our relationship (not that i wasn't when we slept together...but well...you know how relationships just continue to grow and blossom). they were just fleeting thoughts those first few times. (Plus since then he HAS gotten a new bed, as his old one was a water bed that finaly got damaged beyond repair and needed to be replaced anyways)
@hmfryklund (389)
• United States
20 Aug 09
I guess it matters who the guy was married to before me. If I happened to know the girl, it would definitely get on my nerves. Also, if he talked about her a lot, or saw her alot because of kids or something, it would get on my nerves as well. But, if she was pretty much out of his life and he rarely talked about her, I wouldnt care. Odd, but yeah lol.
@ivan2000bd (1009)
• Sweden
20 Aug 09
if i have to do that i will definately change the bed and also try to change the layout of the house like changing colour, furniture and some other instrumenst that were used randomly. thanks for the nice post. happy lotting.
1 person likes this
@mipen2006 (5528)
• Australia
20 Aug 09
Hey ivan, all that wouldn't worry me. If the first relationship is over, then it's all systems go, if you know what I mean. Take care, and thanks for responding.
@daliaj (5674)
• India
20 Aug 09
I don't think the old bed makes a big difference if you really love the person and trust the person. Destroying the old bed and pictures shows a little insecurity feeling. At the same time it can be of possessiveness also.
I will say the person who marries a divorced women should have the mentality to acept that she has the right to save things from her past relationship. But, this rule doesn't apply with non-marriage relationships. I mean no husband will like her wife to save things from his wife's ex bf.
@mipen2006 (5528)
• Australia
20 Aug 09
To be honest, I wouldn't care if my wife carried a picture of her ex in her wallet, as long as it wasn't put in front of me and used in some way. It was an important part of her life, and gave her two children, now adults, who respect me and call me dad. They refer to their biological dad as Pa. I really couldn't care about the house or bed. Thanks for responding, daliaj.
@mipen2006 (5528)
• Australia
20 Aug 09
I'm not sure I understand where you're going with this dhawwnbm.
@Brandon_hildum (83)
• United States
20 Aug 09
I would have to insist on buying a new one, it wrong to share a bed that was shared with the other person. I just couldnt see me doing that.
@mipen2006 (5528)
• Australia
20 Aug 09
I think you may change your opinion when you're older, Brandon. Thanks for the reply, Bud.
