Do you feel like you are being taken advantage of?

Oh it is so good to see that I am not the only one who has great difficutlty in saying "NO". Someone is always asking something of me. I do finally get to a point where I tell my boyfriend that I am tired of everyone taking advantage of me and he tells me that I need to be more like him and just tell them "No". My biggest problem is when someone asks me to watch their kids or do something for their kids as I have a tough time saying "NO" to a child. I have been working on this learning task, but it isn't coming along real well. One reason is when I tell someone "NO" I start to feel badly or feel like I lied. Example being that my neighbor sent her daughter down here for milk the other day & I said I didn't have any and had to go to the store to get it, when in all actuality I had a 1/2 gallon. Unfortunately as we have a 1 person income for 4 people (5 at times), we do not have the money to go out and buy a lot of groceries & this child's mother is given $400.00+ a month in Food Stamp assistance. I kept telling myself that I didn't do anything wrong. It was just a little white lie, but for me I fealt guilty knowing I did have milk and said "NO" to this child. So yes, I to could benefit from the assistance of others to teach me how to say "NO" and to not feel guilty.

Do you say yes or no?... That depends on what's being asked of me. Do you say no because you have something you want to do rather than do whatever was asked of you?... Depends on the situation. Do you say no and then feel guilty that you said no?.. No. I make my decisions with confidence. Do you say yes so you won't make it hard on the one that is asking?..No. I say yes because I sincerely mean whatever it is that I might agree to. Do you say yes because you want them to like you?.. Hell no :P Do you say yes so you can be more popular?..Nope. Could care less who likes me and how many or how few do. I don't depend on others for my overall happiness. Do you say yes because you sincerely want to help?..Yes. What if you feel you are being taken advantage of, do you stil say yes?...Another big heck no. Do you say yes so you won't inconvenience the one asking?..Depends on the situation. I really don't like inconveniencing people, but find it necessary on occasion. Do you volunteer before you even think about what you are doing? Then think what did I do? Do you then do what you committed to do or do you back out? Do you just stop doing it? ...Nope, thankfully :) I used to be the doormat.. but I seriously couldn't take the stress emotionally anymore, or the physical problems that were stemming from the emotional ones. I've cut a LOT of people out of my life lately and haven't felt this good in years!

I have a hard time saying no too. I will say no when I have to even though I may feel guilty later. I will say yes most of the time because no one likes being rejected. Good day.^_^

I do have a hard time saying no when I need to. I think over the years I felt that if I said no they would not like me or would be mad at me. I have always been a people pleaser. The ironic thing about it is people lose respect for you when you do not stand up for yourself. The very people I have spent so much time trying to please and do everything they wanted and needed (including giving money) they now treat me like I am a bum in the street. People will take advantage of you if you allow them to. It is better to risk them being angry or upset than to be a doormat....take it from me!

Wow.. many questions there.. i will try to answer some.. as for me, it depends... if they were my close frens, i feel very difficult to say no to them when it comes to favors, so most probably it will be yes, if i said no, i will feel guilty later, u r right, that is what I will feel. No, i m not anyone's doormat, no walking over me, that is for sure.. but i dont mind compromising with my family and friends...

I have a really hard time saying no as well. Even if someone asks me to do something for them and i have plans already, i feel like i have to be apologetic and explain WHY i am saying no..instead of just saying "No..sorry i can't" and leaving it at that. there are even times i say yes, even if it isn't something i really want to do, just because i don't have anything going on to give me the excuse to say no. Mostly this happens at work, ith people asking me to switch shifts with them, or to work for them for some reason or another. Often times i feel guilty if i HAVE to say no, as often times they are asking me to cover so they can do something with their families or with their children..and as i don't have much in the way of family and i don't have kids, i am the first one they come to when looking for someone to cover, as they know i really don't have much of a life *lol* But i have been getting better at saying no over the years. I deserve my time off as much as other people..even if i don't have plans! And i can't tell you how many times i have agreed to pick up and extra shift on my day off, only to have a friend call the night before with some exciting plans for the next day that they want me to join in!! That always gets frustrating!!

Here in Trinidad people are always taking advantage of each other. Its like a way of life. I do feel guilty when I say no to a request but that doesn't last and if you don't say no you'll be trampled upon mercilessly.

My answer of yes or no depends solely on the merits of the question.It will never depend on anyone liking me or to make things easier on the one asking. If I see you truly need help, I will generally help even though I have to reschedule things in my life. If I see you are well capable of handling the problem yourself, I will insist you do, being around only for advice. After all life is about learning and growing. What better way to learn than overcoming problems. I don't have the yes or no problem.