What is a lie?
By Carolyn63
@Carolyn63 (1403)
United States
August 21, 2009 11:17am CST
See, I realize that speaking an un-truth is a lie. Some people think that is the only definition. But isn't keeping your thoughts from someone you care about a lie? Isn't not speaking up when you have a concern but acting like everything is wonderful and perfect a lie?
Recently I had to call the state representative of one of the local parts suppliers. The manager at the local store was not sending me my bill at the end of each week. There had been a discrepency. We all looked at my statements, my past payments, cores, and current tickets. The bill said one thing, we all agreed that I was caught up. They said they would look into it. They stopped sending bills. I kept all the tickets on my desk and would tabulate the amount owed and still pay each week. The reason I wasn't recieving my bill was because they did not want me to see that I still showed an outstanding balance. The manager went out of town and the assistant manager sent me a bill. I saw that it was still on there. We investigated again. This went on for months. But to me, the fact that he was not sending my bill, keeping the truth hidden, was lying. Isn't it?
Also, recently, I started a venture with two friends. One hid the fact that she didn't like the site, the set up, some of the people involved, etc. (This is mentioned in my post "Is there a new definition for evil?" Eventually the truth came out. Her not voicing any issues or concerns to me is the equivelent of lying to me. Is it not?
What do you consider to be a lie?
5 responses
@jashoaf (296)
• United States
23 Aug 09
The answers so far are all right, I think. Telling an untruth is a lie. An untold truth - well, it kind of depends on the situation. In the case of your manager, he may have been working on the problem himself, and so tried to spare you grief while he worked on your behalf. In that case it is not a lie, you already knew about it.
With your friend, it sounds like she was hiding her opinion, not a truth. That is not a lie. People should be allowed their own opinions, and they don't necessarily need to be shared. If she knew a fact and hid that from you, allowing you to come to some hurt because of hiding it, then that would be a lie - an untold truth. But opinion is something else entirely. The same with something you THINK may be true, as opposed to actual fact. If you worry so about voicing everything so that you do not lie by not telling it, you are probably going to be the worst gossip on the block. Gossip causes much more pain and harm than withholding opinions.
@Carolyn63 (1403)
• United States
26 Aug 09
In the case of the parts house manager, the agreement between businesses was that I was to recieve a statement each week. Some shops are on daily pay, some on weekly, and some on monthly. We chose weekly meaning I pay each week and meaning I recieve a bill each week. He purposely avoided me.
The girl that lied, blatantly did so in saying she was happy with things and then backtracking and not explaining which caused everything to go haywire. Say you have 3 partners. All three are equal in decision making. One claims to be happy with every thing, begins knit picking, attacks innocent people and then lays all blame on everyone else.
I'm not claiming perfection. I am claiming that when two of the three reached out and did all they could to try to make things right for all involved, not just the three, then one should not attack all.
You are right in that gossip hurts all. Bravo for saying that.
Thank you for your response.
@jashoaf (296)
• United States
27 Aug 09
Well, that explains things a little better. No wonder you are upset! No, she may not have originally intended to to you dirty - but she did you dirty and probably killed the whole business venture in the process. She is a person with no backbone; avoids confrontations, lets stuff build up till she can't hold it in, then talks to everyone except the one she should be talking to (aka, gossip). Choose your partners a little more wisely. I've had a couple of those too, and they undermine you till there's nothing left.
@merlinsorca (1118)
• United States
23 Aug 09
I have to disagree with you here. Keeping your thoughts from someone is not a result of bad intentions. Lying is telling the not-truth, but holding your thoughts is just human. It wouldn't be alright if I always said that I didn't like something...
@Carolyn63 (1403)
• United States
26 Aug 09
What about if you are a partner in a business. Should you not voice your thoughts? Should you keep your concerns to yourself? If something isn't right, it's hard to fix if no one knows.
@cobrateacher (8432)
• United States
22 Aug 09
Hi, Carolyn!
A sin of omission is no less a sin than one of commission.
@MachaMongRuad (191)
• United States
21 Aug 09
OK, I know what you're talking about sort of. If I neglect to tell my boyfriend some things I start feeling guilty as though I had lied to him. But no, these things are not lies. You can't just make up definitions for words because you feel the word should apply. The things you describe might be wrong and the people shouldn't have done them, but that doesn't make them lies.
@vbangs (9)
• India
21 Aug 09
a lie is not about not telling the truth but it is about telling the untruth because there is a very thin line between saying untruth and not telling the truth......because in not telling a truth you are actually hiding a truth but in saying untruth ...one actually misleads a the listener
@Carolyn63 (1403)
• United States
26 Aug 09
Well, the person that caused me to ask the thoughts of others actually did both. However, she doesn't see it as being dishonest. She misled me, she insinuated things about others without explaining why when asked, and she blamed everyone else for the trouble she caused. Perhaps I should stop using the word lie and simply start using the word dishonest?
Thank you for your thoughts.
