Hating Brother-in-Law
By bemtotz
@bemtotz (58)
Philippines
August 22, 2009 3:36am CST
I hate my brother-in-law!
A bad start for my discussion's first sentence, right? But I cant help not to type it down first. I really don't like my brother-in-law. For me he was very irresponsible to his family. His wife (my sister) and their son are staying with us, well that's fine because we also like to help them in a way because as of now they cant afford to buy or rent their own house. But what i was annoyed about is that my brother-in-law seems like he forgotten his responsibility to his wife and son. He is always on his work and seldom visits his family. He usually don't buy milk and food for his son, and worst, he did not buy clothes for his son even once. So, it is all up to me, my mother, and my sister to provide the needs of the child. I talked to my brother-in-law about his behavior. He cried and told me that he will be better. But until now he still don't change. He is still who he was. I talked to my sister about it, but that move just torn me down. My sister love him so much so she took his side and gave justifications on why her husband behaving like that. It made me hate my brother-in-law more!
How about you? Do you have a problem with your brother-in-law?
2 people like this
8 responses
@grace118224 (1038)
• China
22 Aug 09
Yes i do have a problem with my brother-in-law who is my husband's brother. He knows very little but he likes to control our life. We cann't make any normal talks with him because we hate to listen to him. He always thinks that he is right and he makes orders to others just according to his thoughts which always are proved to wrong .
@clorissa123 (4926)
• United States
22 Aug 09
For some reason, some people thought that he is the supreme of all others. I met someone at my work. He just older and thought that he is better than everyone. So, if you think he is wrong, you don't have to listen to him. Do what is right for you and your husband.
@trisha27 (3494)
• United States
22 Aug 09
I have a brother in law, but all of them seem really cool and I don't have very much of a problem with them. But I can understand why yout sister would stick up for her husband, because I would do the same and have before. There may be a true reason why her husband is acting in the way that he has been acting and doing what he's been doing. There always is a good reason for things. Sometimes its good not to get involved unless your sister ask for your advice. Sometimes I hate it when my family gets involved in my personal business when I did not ask for it.
@goldeneagle (6745)
• United States
22 Aug 09
I hate MOST of the people in my wife's family...not just her brothers LOL For the most part, her entire family is worthless...
@clorissa123 (4926)
• United States
22 Aug 09
Well, I am the only child in my family, so, I might not go through what you go through right now. Some man just won't take his responsibility seriously, or they simply avoid that responsibility. They rather spend the money on somewhere else rather for what is important for his family. That is unwise, and stupid. I agree with you. What is the most important to do a father's duty to provide what is the basic need for his child and his family. That's his part of responsibility.
About your sister, she should enlightened up a little. She should reason with him for the sake of their child. Sorry on that, hopefully I didn't offend you.
@sujuwonder (212)
• Philippines
22 Aug 09
I can really relate to you. He is my husband's younger brother. Just like you brother in law, he is very irresponsible. His wife left him. His two sons are with him, but my mother in law takes care of them, buys them clothes and provides for their food. My sister in law gave him a tricycle ( a public transportation here in our country) but he doesn't work. Stays all day at home and do nothing except for finding another woman. I feel bad about my mother in law, who was forced to take care of his children. I talked to my husband about it but both of just will just sigh and can do nothing since all other siblings have done everything for him.
@letsee77 (224)
• United States
22 Aug 09
I don't have a brother in law, I have a younger brother and a sister in law. I like my sister in law though she's a very nice girl and she's a bit older then me not much though. I can understand you are frustrated that the man who married you sister is not taking care of his family. I don't know how long you gave him after you talked to him, but if it wasn't that long ago give him the chance and time and see if he improves. He has a responsibilty, he has a wife and a child with her yes but it's also true that some guys get married and have kids and they are not ready, or mature enough to be in that situation. He may still need to grow a little as a person. Help him through, let him know what he needs to do, and encourage him to do these things. Do it in a positive way, as anger and fighting never leads to anything but misery. I hope things work out for the better.
@wrangel15 (1443)
• Philippines
22 Aug 09
I don't have a brother-in-law yet but I know how it feels to have one with the descriptions you wrote above. I have heard so many stories like that before.
Just be patient with him. You said that you talked to him already right? Just show him that you still believe him when he said he "will be better." For sure he only needs someone to show him what things to be done. One reason may be because his his father was like that or he was raised like that.
Don't get me wrong if I say that even if you hate him, he will still be your brother-in-law. He is loved by your sister and there's no way you can get him out of your lives.
Since you are aware and affected by the situation, I know you can help him.
@srganesh (6340)
• India
22 Aug 09
Does he earn a decent income and save something for his future?If he is not responsible for that even,then the good thing is to ask your sister to leave your house and live in a rented house.You shall even give out any shares from your family for her to gain confidence and leave that family to live alone.Then they will realize their position and grow responsible.Otherwise they will take you and your mother for granted and once you get married,things will be more worse.
