Family Gathering Bickering again!
By pudgles
@pudgles (414)
United States
August 22, 2009 7:19am CST
I have a huge family that consist of 10 kids, many grandkids and great grandkids, Every year we would have a Christmas gathering at my parents house, which was always a blessing. Then my dad passed away, and my mom couldn't bear to do it. Well a couple of years ago, she decided it would be nice to keep the tradition going,seeing how her health isn't all that great these days, she wanted to see "all" her family in one,so she started that tradition again.
Well, the last 2,last years and the one already being planned for this year, seemed to start a family feud. It seems that one person thinks its too loud for the many kids, one person thinks that my moms arm was twisted in having it,another thinks one is only doing it for attention and so one. I don't know the real reason behind the this feud, is it jealousy, the saddness of my dad gone and not being able to share the joy with us, the hatred some family members have for others, etc.
We don't have this feud when we plan labor day or memorial day parties, or birthday, graduation, etc, why is it all starts when its the Christmas gathering?
Alot is said and we all know that words hurt more than anything and words you can't take away.
How do I bring the family together without the feud? I hate to say this, but my mom is really getting worse and this might be her last one. family is all you really got in this world, and it is sad that it would take a "family" gathering to ruin it.
Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated
1 person likes this
4 responses
@twoey68 (13627)
• United States
23 Aug 09
My Mom has four children and most of the time we get along half way decent but come holidays it seems like fights break out more easily...perhaps b/c of the holiday stress. Anyways, my Mom has started working it out like this: I have two brothers that still live at home, they have dinner with my Mom and stepdad. My older brother and I stop by later for dessert. Mom gets to see everyone and we're not all there at the same time.
[b]~~AT PEACE WITHIN~~
**STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS**[/b]
@pudgles (414)
• United States
7 Sep 09
Like I wrote in the response before you, it isn't until a week or two before Christmas so that shouldn't be a problem. but for some reason it still is in my familly,
My mom is very sick and this might be her last one, and I pray its not, but all should get along just in case. wouldn't you agree?
@twoey68 (13627)
• United States
9 Sep 09
I think most times families can get along for the greater good, but sometimes it's a lost cause. I'd say have Thanksgiving as a trial run...if everyone gets along for that holiday then plan on having everyone together for Christmas, if not then maybe it can be split up. After all, the most important thing is that your mom get to see everyone.
[b]~~AT PEACE WITHIN~~
**STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS**[/b]
@stephcjh (38473)
• United States
4 Sep 09
WE have the very same thing going on in our family too. We do not all get together anymore because it just does not work out. Our family is split apart and some live in different ways than the rest of us do and some of us work alot and it is hard to gret together anyway. There is always some kind of bickering going on also and I would rather stay out of it.
@pudgles (414)
• United States
7 Sep 09
Oh I hear you loud and clear on that situation! My family is scattered all over NH due to the bickering and noone seems to know what is going on lately in each other lives,new babies, new houses, etc. its sad for I always thought family is the number one thing in life that you should cheerish in spite of what goes on, that you should always keep in touch or it will be too late one day and you just might regret it.
I think alot of the bickering is because alot dont get along with each other, so they are coming up with excuses not to show, and if they face to face, don't know what it will cause, and seeing how its a holiday and all, they don't want to ruin it for my mom.
But like you, I too stay out of it.
@ladym33 (10979)
• United States
11 Oct 09
I think for most of us adults Christmas is more a sense of stress than a joy. We have to go and spend money we don't really have or we feel guilty if we can't. I think that puts a lot of people on edge at Christmas time and that is very unfortunate.
I think you need to remind your family that your mother may not have that many more Christmas's left and if she wants her family all together for Christmas in her home then that is the least they could do for her. They will be sorry if they don't this one thing for her after she is gone. Tell them to give her the most special Christmas of all and that being having her whole family together at a special time. It actually brings tears to my eyes thinking that she really wants this but that your family will not come together. I would give anything for just one more traditional holiday with my grandparents.
@craftyhomebody (443)
• United States
9 Oct 09
why don't you go to each one of them and ask them if they our blind.surly they can see your mom is sick and all the fighting doesn't help it just add's to the stress
but i understand how your mother feel's there is nothing better to have all the kids home at once and to watch how everyone has grown all the noise is part of it so just tell the one that don't want to here it put cotton in your ear give your mom her christmas and tell eveyone to grow up and ya'll can fight whe she is gone
