do you happen to dislike one of your parents?

Philippines
August 23, 2009 1:54am CST
I do not want to sound like a bad daughter... but I have my own thoughts and feelings, and I believe there's nothinw wrong on being honest about how we think and feel. I grew up from a broken family... my dad is a lawyer, a businessman and a successful poilitican in our place when I was little. My mom was an educator but had to stop working and stay home for us kids since there are four of us... she is a veeryyyyy goooood mom.....my friends envy me becasue she is sooooo loving, sweet, supportive, undertsanding....... she is my best friend. i can tell her things I couldn't even share to my closest friend. she is a wonderful person and so loooved by everybody.... she has a good heart. my dad, on the other hand, is the owrst husband, the worst father I have known, and a very terrible person. he is so cold and aloof and distant and oblivious....... i guess his being an "only child" has a big factor why he is like that... he is not used to affection, and sharing......... he's got tons of money but he keeps it to himself... my mom had to look for ways to pay for our school fees and other needs........... when i get home from school very excited coz I'm bringing home a first-honor medal, he doesn't even show one hint of appreciation or being proud of me. he doesn't know any of our birthdays.......... my dad is not physically abusive, but sometimes he does, very rarely tough....... but he treats everybody like pigs. i grew up seeing my dad, but its just as good as i didn't have a dad at all......... if it weren't for my mom I wouldn't be where I am right now..... if it weren't for mom too, we could have grown very troubled, but we didn't........her strong love for us helped us through everything... we grew up that way, and we learned to distance ourselves from our dad too though we live in the same roof. but life is so tough and we need money to get by, so my mom went back to the states to work... we are left in dad's house... it's so odd because we see each other, yet we just ignore each other. he has women who are very yound, and he spends for them--- buys them cars and pays for their apartment, and buy them expensive gifts and mobile phones. yet when we were little, he doesn't even buy us toys. I can't help it that when I was growing up.... my hatred towards my dad grows and grows too.. and no matter how bad it sounds... i can't help it, coz that's the way i feel...and nobody could really truly understand unless they are in my own shoes and have lived the life i live... do you happen to dislike on of your parents? coz i honestly do........
4 people like this
38 responses
jillhill
@jillhill (37354)
• United States
23 Aug 09
You don't have to love someone just because they are related! So you really have the right to your opinion and feelings.....I loved both my parents and as I have grown up and met more and more people I see what a wonderfu set of parents I did have! They did everything for us.....to make sure we knew we were loved! It's too bad your dad doesn't see what he is missing by being a loving father.....
1 person likes this
patofgold23
@patofgold23 (5069)
• Philippines
24 Aug 09
you know jill, you are so lucky...a lot of people would envy you. Keep up your good relationship with your parents...they are your treasures... as far as my dad goes... i don't think he ever realizes what he's missing, caz as far as he's concerend, he has everything he needs.
versio9
@versio9 (329)
• Philippines
23 Aug 09
i understand your situation and i think although you dislike your father, you also love him. you have no choice, he is your father. so not to make things worse, try to get out of your home before those feelings of dislike really turn to hate. get help from your mother. talk to your mother about this. the act of going away should tell your father that you don't like the way he behaves. when he gets offended, tell him about your dislike for him. i advise that you do not discuss anything while you live under his roof. be independent first before you confront him.
1 person likes this
patofgold23
@patofgold23 (5069)
• Philippines
23 Aug 09
I am trying to be independent as possible...i have made my career, some money, but it is never enough yet........ I am saving up for a big jumstart for me and my son..... so right now, I have to be more practical.........I could use up all the savings I could set aside one day...I am not ready to get a house for myself yet coz the expenses just won't stop when you have kids..... but I know I would not settle for this for long............ i'm giving it a little more time.....besides, i just ignore my dad,we have nothing to say to each other............ (and as far as conrontation goes, it's no point..he doesn't want that,it's just gonna turn out messy) i just don't let him get to my nerves or ruin my day in any way anymore... worse, ruin my life.......... i am tougher now....so i know i can handle this. in terms of asking help from my mom... she is alwasy there for me for moral support...she is not financially okay so when it comes to financial problems i woudl rather handle it myself. i am on my way to becoming independent.....like totally, hopefully...... but it's too late for waiting for my dislike to turn into hate...it already had.... long ago.... thanks for the response versio........... happy myLotting!
1 person likes this
grecychunny26
@grecychunny26 (9483)
• Philippines
1 Sep 09
Oh Pato, I am sorry about your father. I remember when we first met here in Mylot your discussion is about your father and now you share the whole story. Well I also dislike my father in a certain incident only. when he is stress he keeps on shouting on my mother, that is what I dislike about him. He sometimes drink too, when he drink there are many horrible things happen, he will force my mother to fight him or he will attract fight in our neighborhood. It was so frightening. And the most shocking of all, when he was back to normal he will deny all the things he had done, he will insist that we are only making stories. I lose my respect to him when he was drunk. I also can't avoid to say hurting words to him. IF he is drunk I lose my temper and I forgot that he is my father. Because when he was drunk he became a different person. When he is normal, he is okay, although the shouting is there but it is tolerable. But I still love him and accepted the crossed that our family is carrying......him.
grecychunny26
@grecychunny26 (9483)
• Philippines
1 Sep 09
and that's the advantage of sharing it here because you got to found that you are not the only one having that kind of misery hahahhahaha.
patofgold23
@patofgold23 (5069)
• Philippines
1 Sep 09
sure does feel great to know you're not alone heh!!!=)
patofgold23
@patofgold23 (5069)
• Philippines
1 Sep 09
Hey grecy...it's been a while since we talked... from my discussion I discovered a lot more out there who are having family troubles...each has their story to tell... I always thought the mess I am into is the wors mess there is... but I cam accross a few responses and I learned there are people who had been through worst times than I did... so I realized no matter how bad the life i have is...there are more out there who are unfortunate than I am... I must even be thankful I am stronger than most out there... I guess you have to be strong yourself too grecy...and strive hard to stand on your own and get away from a very bad atmosphere..so you can find your own peace.' No life is perfect grecy...but we can make it perfect in our own sense...
aerous
@aerous (13434)
• Philippines
24 Aug 09
Hello friend, When i was read your discussion. I would say that your dad, should not be a person anymore. He's not deserve to be a your while you are a good daughter but we need to accept he is your dad. In other hand, I would like to give my sympathy on what happen to you and your family. It's really there are people like your dad. Be patient enough my friend, to face the trouble that you have in life. As I grow up poor I never dislike my parents because my dad, is a responsible one. Whatever he experience hard to find ways to give us good education and bring us daily food in our kitchen. I am proud of my father and my mother too. Even do my father is gone I will say that I owe great things from him. But I suggest you not to be pitty of yourself my friend. Think that life is very hard to live with. Think that life can be great again after all your sufferings in life. Talk to your father, in a divine words to tell everything he does is not good but evil. Just open his eyes by telling a conscience arguments. Tell him that all of his deeds will not worth for him but for sin and give him into bigger and worst occassion beyond without his expectation... Don't hesitate to ask any advice to me. I will try to give my best to strengthen you in this terrible experience with your dad. It is natural you angry with your dad. But please don't put in your heart any anger. I hope that I contribute something relevant words to ease your burden. Have a great day!
aerous
@aerous (13434)
• Philippines
25 Aug 09
Hello patofgold23, Don't mind about my words, my friend. It's my pleasure to share things that I know will help you a lot. I don't want someone suffering like that. And if possible I will make the best i can to give a powerful words to strengthen anybody who need helps. I appreciate how nice you are, my friend. Since, you have a son. You must embolden to the mind of your son, that you father's did is not the really a good one to follow. You need to talk well to your kid. Because in my opinion your father did is not a good model to shown by your kid. If your father didn't really want to renew his life. And entangle himself with vices let him go but I don't think he is always deserve the things he did today?I think that's the life of every politicians that being greedy for flesh. They don't think about their Daughter, that will suffer much in the future?I wish you need more patient to face the reality of your life. Your husband, being your greatest strength will make you stand stronger...have a great day!
patofgold23
@patofgold23 (5069)
• Philippines
25 Aug 09
thanks for the very kind words aerous... I have devoted all my life being a good mother to my son... never do i want him to go through what i went through. i am a single mom and I'm raising my son alone... so there is no husband to rely on, or even share my hurts with. yet, all these things help me even become a stronger person. I do hold on a lot, all because of my son
patofgold23
@patofgold23 (5069)
• Philippines
24 Aug 09
hi aerous.... thanks a lot... thanks for always responding to my discussions... ...and thanks for those encouraging words........... I have always learned to be positive about things despite evrything i went through...... i have a son and I am correcting my dad's mistakes by bringing up my son the right way. in terms of talking to my dad,, i have tried a hundred of time,,,,,,, and it didn't work,,,i have given up on him long ago... and he didn't mind losing his family,,, as far as he is concerned , he has everything he needs. maybe everything will catch up to him when he grows old..
PeacefulWmn9
@PeacefulWmn9 (10420)
• United States
24 Aug 09
Hi Pat. I think it is awful of your dad to have treated you so badly. That has to hurt! I do think things like that cause a large gap between parent and child. Feeling the way you do toward him is understandable. I am fortunate not to have had either parent treat me like that, although I have always felt closer to my mom, I loved them both. I hope with time, some of your hatred toward your dad will ease up. Things like that must really eat one up on the inside. Hugs, Karen
PeacefulWmn9
@PeacefulWmn9 (10420)
• United States
24 Aug 09
I'm happy that you don't let this ruin your life. Having your own children helps, yes? And given your experience, I can imagine you'll be an excellent, loving mom. I know how blessed I am. My dad passed away years ago, but my mom is still here and I do respect and adore her. Blessings to you and your own family.
patofgold23
@patofgold23 (5069)
• Philippines
24 Aug 09
yeah..i have learned to make the best of everything.. my mom is a loving wonderful person and I owe everything to her....... thanks a lot karen.......
1 person likes this
patofgold23
@patofgold23 (5069)
• Philippines
24 Aug 09
well,,, i have learned to live with it and even learned not to let him get to my nerves in a ny way, ruin my day in any way, or ruiin my life in any way....... i am a mother now, and me and my kids are happy... i made sure they don't go through what i went through....... you know karen, you're lucky...keep your relationship with your parents alive!
1 person likes this
kitty42
@kitty42 (3923)
• United States
24 Aug 09
Hi patofgold23, Wow I know how you feel, I have the ability to be able to put myself in other peoples shoes, while reading your post I could feel your pain. No I can't say I dislike a parent, although my Mom was there and she did a wonderful job, my father was not, still I don't dislike him, I don't know him. You on the other hand, this is really sad, I am glad your mom was there to help you and turn into this wonderful adult I am reading, You know how you feel I will not tell you it is wrong to feel what you feel, I can say if it was me, I will probably feel the same way, the sooner you can move on into your own space the better it will be, it would be great if things will change and he will become the father you deserve,have you ever tried sitting him down and telling him how you fell? I like the way you express yourself, you are very bright, continue to love mom, show her how much you appreciate all she has done to make you into the person you have become, your feeling are your feelings no one can change that but your dad Imo,I really don't know what to say to make you feel better, but it is obvious to me someone did something right, you are truly amazing, I wish you the best.
patofgold23
@patofgold23 (5069)
• Philippines
24 Aug 09
hi kitty...thanks.. it's wonderful to know that even in places like mylot, where I can share your stories anonymously,I get to know true people you. it's true my dad is missing out on a lot of things, but he doesn't realize that yet... someday maybe, just maybe he will. I have not totally closed my doors on him yet... you have a great heart kitty,i can see that. I hope everything goes well on your end there. take care!
patofgold23
@patofgold23 (5069)
• Philippines
24 Aug 09
hi kitty...those were the most encouraging words i have heard... and i truly apreciate that... it's true, i do feel lucky to have my mom, she is a wonderful person inside and out. with regards to talking to my dad, nobody in the family ever sicceeded on that, he has so much pride in him...he thinks he is too smart and he doesn't listen to anybody's opinion...he doesn't want to be confronted in any way too.. i guess because he grew up having everything his way.. they come from a rich family and he is the only son...that did a lot to him. so, one by one, we all gave up on dad... we went on and lived our own lives... even if we live in one roof, i sort of have conditioned myself so I could have the peace i wanted...so in a way he doesn't exist in our worlds too... we never had the daughter-father relationship so I doubt we could ever be close or at least have a better realtionship coz it's too late for that already.. if something happens to him, I always thought it would not hurt me in any way...but then i couldn't deny still feeling sorry for him when i think about it. he's still my father after all... but I can't say I could learn to love him like a father/parent..or the way i love and care for my mom... he doesn't deserve it, and it's too awkward for that... i think of him as somebody outside the family. but hey, that's life...from my discussion i have learned a lot more out there are more unfortunate than me and have gone through worse times than i did. we all have our stories to tel.. and it's good to let it out once in a way,, it does help ease the hurts somehow. thanks kitty, i marked you BR!
kitty42
@kitty42 (3923)
• United States
24 Aug 09
Hi patofgold23 I spoke from my heart and I know you knew this considering you speak from your as well, your dad lost out on knowing an amazing woman how sad is that, I love how you said you think if something were to happen you may not feel something, but then he is your dad, you remind me so much of me, don't ever change who you are, you are blessed you have something inside of you that some people will never experience, keep it, enhance it,don't change it. Thanks for accepting my friendship, I will be here for you anytime you need to talk,I mean that, its unfortunate that you had to go through this, just keep in mind there is a reason for everything, and you my dear will be fine, I can tell.
whyiswyh
@whyiswyh (170)
• Malaysia
24 Aug 09
Sound like it is the same problem over here. Maybe it is the nature of father to be uncaring??? However, my father does know my birthday and play with us sometimes. I somehow feel it is their nature to be bossy and wants to control everything they wanted. I do feel that he is more burdened than a stay-at-home mom, maybe they feel that life is hard on them. I wish I do get enough money and balance well with my family one day in the future. It doesn't look like it is easy to be the sole breadwinner. My mom also gets angry when my father mistreat her. Just be patient and hang on. I hope my family do not split even though my father is quite bad. You can dislike someone but you can always be forgiving. It is not easy to be forgiving to your own dad...especially when he is always domineering over your house. He is the head by the way. Just be patient unless you really want to split up your family.
patofgold23
@patofgold23 (5069)
• Philippines
24 Aug 09
i believe you should hang on and keep your family together while you still can... everybody has problems... sounds like there's still something to be done with your family.. work together with everyone in oyur fammily and maybe you can change things a bit.... for my part, it's too late for that, my family had been broken since I was in 5th grade....... i'm almost 31 years old now and a mother already. yet the pain wouldn't go away that easily. i still feel sorry for my mom coz she's still suffering up to now. and that makes me hate my dad even more.
whyiswyh
@whyiswyh (170)
• Malaysia
25 Aug 09
Gee....I hope the tides will turn for you. We are just playing the patience game. Don't be too sad about yours. The true beauty of life is not having it perfect but to see beyond the imperfection
patofgold23
@patofgold23 (5069)
• Philippines
25 Aug 09
you're right whyis... i have learned to look at the brighter side of things ...can't help to be human too.. but I am holding on and I have learned to be tought through the years. I think i succeeded on that
kunizzul
@kunizzul (1066)
• Malaysia
24 Aug 09
Honestly. Not. I did not ever feel something like that in my heart or my brain. They are loving parents to me and I always feel love them. =)
kunizzul
@kunizzul (1066)
• Malaysia
24 Aug 09
Thanks. =)
patofgold23
@patofgold23 (5069)
• Philippines
24 Aug 09
you're one lucky guy kunniz........
patofgold23
@patofgold23 (5069)
• Philippines
24 Aug 09
happy mylotting !!!!!!!!!!!
angelajoy
@angelajoy (1825)
• Philippines
24 Aug 09
If I had a father like that I would really hate him too. And you said he is a politician? From what country are you? I'm just curious. I'm from the Philippines, and lots of politicians here are like your father. They only care about themselves and don't mind their families at all. If he's like that, then why did he even bother to have a family in the first place? I detest people like him. I hope karma is coming his way.
angelajoy
@angelajoy (1825)
• Philippines
24 Aug 09
Oh, so you're from the same country. I hope I did not vote for your father when he was still active in politics. I'm just glad that you had a great mother when you were growing up. I believe that even though your father wasn't much of a father at all, your mother helped you greatly in becoming a good person. Not many people have a mother like yours, and for that you are very lucky.
patofgold23
@patofgold23 (5069)
• Philippines
24 Aug 09
lolz... if ever my father runs for office again,i'm not voting for him either!!!
patofgold23
@patofgold23 (5069)
• Philippines
24 Aug 09
yes he's a politician, here in the philippines... but he had stopped politics for sometimes now and concentrated on business and his law practice. i do know a lot of politicians too...i have friends whose parents are in politics too but their dad are great............
1 person likes this
charlenejade
@charlenejade (3)
•
25 Aug 09
I am so sorry you had to go through that with your father, but i honestly beleive that you will be a stronger person and a better parent because of your experiences. My mother and father split when i was very young and i barely saw my father as a child, but far from disliking him it was actually my mother that made my life hell as a child. She has always been a very aggressive person and was very physically abusive to me and my middle brother. Im still not sure why she singled me and him out but i do understand now that she could not cope on her own with 4 children. I just wish she had asked for help. I think it was the support of a neighbour and my brother that got me through it and i beleive it has made me a lot stronger. I do still speak to my mother but we will never b like other mothers and daughters, but i am glad to say i now have a good relationship with my dad. I think his problem is that he was brought up differently and beleives that his job as a father is just to provide. He has never been good with children and never been emotional, but i know that in his own way he does love all his children, he just doesn't know how to show that. If i hadnt gone through what i did as a child i dont beleive i would have had the mental strenghth to make it into the army and i probably would not b the parent i am now. I have unfortunately ended up with the same bad temper as my mother but my daughter will never see that and will never be scared of me. In a way i have my mother to thank for that, because now i know exactly what i should not do.
charlenejade
@charlenejade (3)
•
25 Aug 09
And it does sound as if you are a very strong person. I think in the long run none of this will affect you in a bad way. When it comes down to it you know you are a good person and do not deserve to be treated like that by a parent. I think in the end you will forget about all this and have a happy fufilled life and your father will end up lonely and wishing he had made an effort. His money will only comfort him for so long.
patofgold23
@patofgold23 (5069)
• Philippines
25 Aug 09
hi charlene... thanks for your response.. i truly appreciate your sharing your life with me. i am sorry your mother had to take it out on you. she must have found it hard to handle everything on her own. but it's still wrong to treat your kids bad.. children should grown up in a happy environment full of love....... and acceptance.. and freedom of expression. It's good you have rebuilt your relationship with your dad. I guess there are people who are just not showy when it comes to affection. but my dad, is not even close to it. he has no affection to start with. he's a hopeless case. i doubt if he will ever change. i'm glad I am a mother now and I am proud of how I raised my son. he is a happy kid who is proud to have me as his mom again thanks chralene. we all have to be strong...
patofgold23
@patofgold23 (5069)
• Philippines
26 Aug 09
that's true charlen.. money won't last that long... it can't even buy true happiness..
darkstormy1
@darkstormy1 (264)
• United States
10 Sep 09
One can not control how they feel only their actions that come from those feelings. I personally I do not know if one would call it hate I know when I was younger I hated both my parents (they were very abusive and kicked me out when I was 15) I hated them a long time I had to let go of that well most of it. Now I think I pity them they are still not in my life now out of choice. I had to let go of it or it would destroy me and they still won. Now I pity them for they still live with all that hate not to mention they will not have their grandkids nor any of the memories that is their loss.
patofgold23
@patofgold23 (5069)
• Philippines
10 Sep 09
Hi there Darkstormy... I am not completely,completely closing my doors on dad..though if we even patch things up..it will be too late for me to feel anything for him. I could maybe at least stop disliking him.. but definitely not lean to love him...even if i feel sorry for him sometimes i still feel he doesn't deserve a little love from me. I see we are in the same boat dark..only, at least I have my mom's love and understanding... I try my best not to feel guilty for feeling such way towards my dad... but i can see that i am not alones who feel such way.......it does happen
ChrysanTflower
@ChrysanTflower (1607)
• Indonesia
23 Aug 09
Hi patofgold Sorry to hear about your dad. It sounds same with my grandpa. My daddy hate my grandpa because similar reason like you. My grandpa married twice and left my father with 7 siblings and my grandma alone. He acted badly to my dad too, not gave him enough food and treated him like a worker. He chose to bought my second grandma (at that time, she was young and beautiful) cars and jewelry than pay for my dad college, or pay for his 7 children daily needs. My dad always cry when told this story to me. My grandpa passed away last year and my dad came. Later he said to me, after see his corpse and pale body, all the hatred feelings gone and it's like "It finished. It's the end" feeling. Patofgold, have you ever think, what will you feel if he die someday? For that reason, my dad try to be a good dad for his children(me and my brother). When I was child I afraid of my mom and didn't like her. She was too emotional and hit me several times. I always talked to my dad when I was child and played with him. My mom was young and I'm her first child, seems like she hadn't known how to treated child at that time. Now she just like my friend. Now, I'm closer to my mom than my dad, because my dad too strict sometimes and he is closer to my brother. It's strange whenever I thin about our close relationship in the past, but still, he is a good dad. Waw! I realize now, it needs courage and bravery to honestly talk about our family I admire you, who can start this discussion and honestly tell us about your family matters
ChrysanTflower
@ChrysanTflower (1607)
• Indonesia
23 Aug 09
From your story, I'm sure your mom is a GREAT mom! She can stand still with that difficult situation and struggle for you and all your siblings. Yeah, I think it will be a strange feeling too when your father die. You know he is your father but he act very badly.. Once my teacher said, we can't change our parents and can't do anything to have new parents, but we can take a lesson and try to do the best for our children, never do same mistake done by our parents.. That's wonderful you now be a good mom for your child, just like your mom Hope your child will remember you as a great mom too! Good luck with your family now, Patofgold!
patofgold23
@patofgold23 (5069)
• Philippines
23 Aug 09
thanks for the very encouragiing words chrysan.. it's nice to be able to share deep kept feelings to others like what we're doing now.. it does a lot to lighten things inside...
praveen057
@praveen057 (79)
• India
23 Aug 09
this never happened that i disliked one of my parents on some matter.as they are everything for me. if i have quarrels over some topic with one of my parent then i try to resolve the matter very nicely .they will never guide us to follow the wrong way.if over some matters my parents are wrong then i try to give necessary detail over that topic afterwards when they are in relax state
praveen057
@praveen057 (79)
• India
24 Aug 09
yeah i m lucky to have good parents.if u have committed a mistake remember never to hide it from ur parents ,this leads to some problems in ur family.telling them about ur mistake always have a good impression on them if u have not committed a serious mistake
patofgold23
@patofgold23 (5069)
• Philippines
26 Aug 09
sounds like your parents are lucky to have you too...
patofgold23
@patofgold23 (5069)
• Philippines
24 Aug 09
you are lucky to have level-headed parents prav........ you sound like you know how to position yourself too...you're a good child, i cansee that.
Olusanya
@Olusanya (16)
• Niger
24 Aug 09
The Only thing you can do is to intestify in your prayer,that God should arrest is soul to love you as mummy loved you.from today you too should show LOVE to him even if he didnt look at your side show it day and night,and God will take control.
patofgold23
@patofgold23 (5069)
• Philippines
24 Aug 09
i hope i can olus...... it's hard........ maybe one day....... i'm not ready to feel that towards my dad yet
patofgold23
@patofgold23 (5069)
• Philippines
26 Aug 09
yeah, it makes me guilty olus.. but i really can't help it. like i said, people won't truly understand why i feel this way. unless you have lived the life i have lived. my dad has made my life a living hell.. and it takes a lot to forgive him just like that
Olusanya
@Olusanya (16)
• Niger
25 Aug 09
remember Christ paid it all at the cross for you,he didnt postpone your healing,delieverance,salvation he did it once...so dont delay it, delay to show love is dangerious.whatsoever you want men to do to you please do like wise.pray now that God should change your heart towards your father for Good.
NikkiLuvsAlex
@NikkiLuvsAlex (319)
• United States
28 Aug 09
Both of my parents have driven me crazy. I love my Mom even though she has been strict and sometimes very hard on me, she loves me and has always been there for me. My Dad is alot different and I guess he loves me too, but sometimes I don't hear from him for a few years at a time. I grew up with both parents and only one is around now. I don't even have my Dad's number to call him and wish him a Happy Birthday soon. I had it, but he changed it and didn't give me the new one.
patofgold23
@patofgold23 (5069)
• Philippines
28 Aug 09
oh wow nikki... that makes me feel guilty thinking I had the worst dad of all. i can't balieve how many dads around the world could be like that. that's terrible, and I can't help thinking how unworthe these people are to be even called such. I guess we just have to stand up for ourselves and keep moving forward. These things are truly part of our lives and past, and there is nothing much we can do to change it. But we can live a better life and not let these things affect us no more. thoguh it does in some ways...but it did teach us to be better ans stronger individuals.
tigeraunt
@tigeraunt (6326)
• Philippines
7 Sep 09
i am very lucky both my parents are so loving and supportive. i feel very sorry for kids who get to have very distant and cold treatment from parents just like you said now. did you ever, even once, tell your dad what you think of him? maybe he doesnt realize it because no one has told him. i guess you can now because you are independent from him, just to clear on matters and to stop the hate? ann
patofgold23
@patofgold23 (5069)
• Philippines
7 Sep 09
hello ann~! oh my dad knows so well what we think of him,.. but he hates it when we point out his mistakes to him..he loves to be surrounded by people who would always agree to what he says... I have grown tired of wanting to patch things up with him... it is better we don't talk so there's nothing to argue about... but i am not completely closing my doors on him.
yolanda19191
@yolanda19191 (1934)
• China
26 Aug 09
hi, patofgold23. i'm so sorry to hear that ur father is such a kind of man. in my mind, that's really a very terrible type. if i were u, maybe i have persuaded them to get divorced. now that he can give u nothing, no family warmth/love, no economic support, no... to me, i love my parents very much, though they sometimes would quarrel. and then i might hate one of them. but that was only temporary. my parents both totally devoted all to the family. so, i and my brother are very obedient to my parents. and we are doing our best to give them happier life. hope u still can live happily with ur mom. and happy forever. just forget the shadow, and be brave to face the real life!
patofgold23
@patofgold23 (5069)
• Philippines
26 Aug 09
hi yolanda...you are lucky to have great parents and a great family. I bet your parents as lucky to have you as their child too... keep your closeness together. a lot of people don't have a close family ties...and you should treasure that
in4net6rix
@in4net6rix (112)
• Kenya
26 Aug 09
I love both my parents. They are such wonderful people. I would find it very hard to chose between the two of them. They have always been there for me.
patofgold23
@patofgold23 (5069)
• Philippines
26 Aug 09
hello in4net! i must say you are one of the lucky ones to have great parents.. i just happpen to be among those who are unfortunate when it comes to that. gladly, my mom is a wonderful person and I'm sure thankful to have her... keep your family close1 happy myLotting!
jimntam
@jimntam (93)
• United States
26 Aug 09
I'd have to say that I get along with my mother more than my father. Like everybody, they both have their faults. My mother will sometimes say things with very little tact. Take things the wrong way when I say something she might not like and get upset with me. My father's a good man. But he's stubborn and doesn't have an open mind about anything. It's his way or the highway. He tends to hold grudges and because of that he's become an angry man. Sometimes I think he would have been happier if he lived alone and never had a family. But I can't say that he was neglectful when I was growing up. Mine and my brothers' needs always came first. I havn't talked to him in years. I still talk to my mom and they are still together. So I guess he gets the updates of what's going on in my life that way.
patofgold23
@patofgold23 (5069)
• Philippines
26 Aug 09
hi jum... first, i wanna thank you for responding to my discussion.. seems to me a lot of people can relate to what's going on in my family.. we all have stories to tell.. so not all family's perfect.... i see that now.. i thought mine was the only one that's going crazy......... why is your dad bitter? my dad's like that too... he seem to hate the whole world. but when he's around others, he's the nicest man on earth. at least you managed to keep ties with your mom......... and i believe you haven't really closed your doors on your dad like i think i am doing. any thoughts of patching things up with him?
wcwdedumo
@wcwdedumo (83)
• Philippines
29 Aug 09
i am sorry you are in such situation patofgold23. i hope you achieve peace and be able to reconcile with your father.
patofgold23
@patofgold23 (5069)
• Philippines
29 Aug 09
oh it's okay wcw! I have learned to live with it for some time now and I am okay. I have not discounted the fact that Imight be reconciling with my dad later on..but i have a feeling that's not gonna happen. i don't think my dad will ever change