improve you self

this might sound really dumb, but the best answer I can give is to try to set up some kind of budget. There are budgets you can learn about all over the internet or library. And work on following through with keeping the budget.... A budget will help you with your bills and tuck away a little extra. If your grandma is still around, can you get any good advice from her on how to handle finances? I believe anyone can do anything once they put their mind to it. You might fail the first time or the first ten times, but you can still succeed as long as you keep trying.

However well meaning your grand mother was in saving your money for you, it seems to have boomeranged in effect. Starved for money, you seem to have splurged it at the first given opportunity and since then made a habit of it. I admire you for having analyzed your predicament so very accurately. Congratulations! You have won half the battle. Set yourself to win the war of abundance. Your success with follow through will be the deciding factor. Improve on it. Practice it in small steps. Do each job as though it is a joy! Complete it, embellish it, make it something like a work of art! You may think of yourself as a nitpicking, senile and obsessive compulsive thing. Ignore it! The gift it will give you is a faultless follow through. What you need to do is plan your spending. Spending to the very last cent! Follow the plan to the hilt! Take joy in each victory. learn from each defeat. Shed dispensable expenditure, you will find so many other expenses also dispensable. Chuck the words "Tight, Stingy" out of the window! Replace them with "Frugal, Discerning and far sighted." Then on you will find the joy of skillful management and the advantage of simple existence. At this point abundance is your companion.