how do you deal with these people ?
By syankee525
@syankee525 (6261)
United States
August 25, 2009 8:14am CST
i am not looking for pitty nor do i have self pitty on myself.
but due to my old life stlye and things happen to me. my body is bang up pretty bad for my age.
i had a spinal cord injury in 96, i hurt T11 and T12. it was actully a spinal cord injury the worst kind of bad injury a person could have. due to the impact of my fall my whole back is a mess. just found out my neck is worst. pretty much my whole spinal cord is a mess from my butt to my head.
i got weight limits on what i can or should left. had this from day one. but i was told if i put too much stress on my neck or hurt it, i will need an operation on it, look at over a year of healing no driving either. my wife cant drive due to she's blind and my kids work.
then i have a dislocated shoulder that cant be fix, so often i will lost the use of my arm, and was told i need two knee replacement as well. but i cant get that done because of my age.
so i go for injection for my neck to help with pain, as well as my shoulder now too and looking at injections in my knees with pain. but the pills i am on isnt really working as good. they didnt give me anything strong because i refuse to take anything going to make me a zombie.
but i am told by family memembers either i need to just work and deal with it. no matter what. or i am lying about it all. or i need to fight it and go to the gym and work it out. i was even told i need to grab my neck and jerk it to each side.
if i hurt my neck i am looking at a good chance of being cripple, i was even told by doctors they cant explain how i am still walking at all.
so how do you deal with people who telling what you need to do, even against doctors oders, and they think you are lying.
i told my wife i am going to show them all my medical records specaily to those who think they are doctors and know more then my doctors.
3 people like this
6 responses
@tonniek02 (457)
• United States
25 Aug 09
For people who think you are lying. Tell them to stick it....I worked at a sewing factory and started having a lot of pain in my left shoulder. I was treated like crap from all the other employees and even my boss. My arm would swell so bad I couldn't even make a fist. But, everyone thought I was faking. you can't fake swelling. I finally found a doctor that knew just what the problem was and I had to have surgery. It fixed my arm, but, I do have a 17% dissability in it now.. But I have found other work that I can do. Because after the recop time, my boss gave me my walking papers when I came back to work. If you know what is going on with you. It isn't any one elses business. And you should worry about what everyone else thinks or says. I don't, I go about my own business and don't worry about what anyone thinks
2 people like this
@youngpatrol (425)
• United States
25 Aug 09
Ignore people like that. They don't understand what you are going through. I have seen many people like that over the year's and I have to say that unless if they know what they are talking about I wouldn't even listen. Someone told my wife to go to a chiropractor. Well she did and he told her he wouldn't dare touch her back because it would break. That is how degraded that her spine is from an old injury. He did however tell her it will be about 2 year's and she will be in a wheelchair. Which is more then a regular doctor had told her.
2 people like this
@skysuccess (8858)
• Singapore
26 Aug 09
syankee525,
After reading your post here, I am just wondering what did you do to get yourself into this shape of things today.
Despite your old injuries to the your back, you had incurred other injuries as well and I think a lot of people will be quite concern with what had you been doing to actually be so wrecked up. At this time of your life and stage, if you are out of work then I can imagine a time of excruciation for you.
Also, I am quite concern where you mentioned that you would want to go to a gym and work out on your injuries??!! Are you for real? Or rather, are you sure? Don't you think you should be visiting a physiotherapist instead? I am sure the last thing you want or need to do would be exerting your back and shoulders.
Anyway, I am not sure if you have Chinese physicians in your city or not, and I would strongly recommend that you consult them for alternative treatments to your current injuries. Acupuncture, authentic Chinese massages and herbal medicines are really good alternative or supplementary treatments to your current conditions. It can complement any Western medication and/or physio-therapies that you might be taking and/or receiving.
As for the people who are insensitive about your undergoings and conditions, it would be a better advocate for you to ignore them totally. You do not need to burden yourself to prove it to them as you can never succeed when their hearts are hardened to the core, because the more you try to explain the more unconvinced they will be. You can never change them once they have set or made up their minds about you.
Take care.
@skysuccess (8858)
• Singapore
27 Aug 09
syankee525,
So, I do not perceive that your family members are being insensitive to you and that I think they are asking you to stay out of these fights and accidents by going to work. Besides, you have a handicapped wife to take care of, so if you do not keep yourself from these injurious accidents then how are you going to be able to support the family. Think about it.
If you are so badly wounded, I do not think going to the gym is a good solution when what you need is probably some light duty work and therapy. So, do really take care as I am sure your family really need you to be.
Have a nice day.
@syankee525 (6261)
• United States
26 Aug 09
well some of it is from fighting, car accidents, and just from getting hurt all together. most of the back issue is from my fall in 96.
yeah everything i said about what's wrong with me is all real lol. hurt back lost count before my fall. but i'm one those person who used to get hurt alot
1 person likes this
@zoey7879 (3092)
• Quincy, Illinois
25 Aug 09
Ugh.. I hate that crap. I'm in a similar situation, just different condition that puts me there. I'm sorry, but I would be telling them, family or not, to eat crow. You don't need to justify yourselves to your family. I can tell you as living, still (but don't know how) breathing proof of what going against your body tells you can do. I started off with an allergic reaction. 6 months later.. a sinus infection.. Two weeks after that, upper respitory (sp)... that spread to pneumonia... I was told not to return to work for 6 weeks. My employer told me that after two weeks of an employee who is not scheduled for two weeks.. that the computer system fired from. That is how the corporation set them up. So I went back to work... Another allergic reaction.. then I became so ill at work that they forced me to go home in order to avoid liability. I had went back to work to pay the bills and because of the constant pressure from my family "I went to work sick so should you."
I can thank that stupidity for sending me to an early grave...I was actually allergic to several chemicals that I was being exposed to each day at work.. which is what led to the initial infections. When you have pneumonia or get lung infections, these can often cause nodules to grow in your lungs. Also, allergic reactions are often treated with steroids. End result: I'm now allergic to over 17 different things, including even my own body fluids. It's not pleasant. All because I didn't just say screw the minimum wage job and stay at home to heal... of course, many people don't believe it until the see the photographs of what happens during these reactions.
Tell em to stow it.
2 people like this
@koalapenguin (2707)
• Philippines
26 Aug 09
Too bad. So sorry for the injury Mr. Syankee. 
I bet you were a soldier in your young age. I handled some patients with the same condition in a government hospital exclusive for soldiers. They can't walk anymore and most of the time, wants to spend time alone because of their injury. But i was pretty amazed by your strength mister. I think i could not bear that pain going on to my body. So i salute you for being tough and not losing hope! I think the doctors are not lying at all. Because i think i know what's happening in you although you know your limit, it wouldn't hurt to follow an expert's advice. Like the weight limit. I have studied those things back in college days. 
So just exercise by utilizing the range of motion exercises so that your muscle will still be in shape and doesn't get wasted. I'm sorry that your wife got blind, too. It must have been hard for you. I just hope your kids will still give you the love and care you need and the support for both of you. Take Care! 
I bet you were a soldier in your young age. I handled some patients with the same condition in a government hospital exclusive for soldiers. They can't walk anymore and most of the time, wants to spend time alone because of their injury. But i was pretty amazed by your strength mister. I think i could not bear that pain going on to my body. So i salute you for being tough and not losing hope! I think the doctors are not lying at all. Because i think i know what's happening in you although you know your limit, it wouldn't hurt to follow an expert's advice. Like the weight limit. I have studied those things back in college days. So just exercise by utilizing the range of motion exercises so that your muscle will still be in shape and doesn't get wasted. I'm sorry that your wife got blind, too. It must have been hard for you. I just hope your kids will still give you the love and care you need and the support for both of you. Take Care! 1 person likes this
@syankee525 (6261)
• United States
26 Aug 09
sorry to hear about you. one thing i've learn is the best med of life through what we deal with is laugh at ourself. i always make jokes about my health condition.
never give up and have faith too
2 people like this
@koalapenguin (2707)
• Philippines
27 Aug 09
I agree with your opinion to laugh all about what's happening. Besides, worrying won't help us at all. God bless,
1 person likes this
@Rosemango (106)
• Trinidad And Tobago
25 Aug 09
If you're not looking for pity then stop complaining. These people no doubt think they are offering legitimate advice. True a lot of questionable advice, but in their minds they are being helpful. How do these conversations start anyway? I find that I can ignore most conversations whose direction I don't care for and tune out almost anything.
1 person likes this
