What is love? Being disabled and having a relationship.
By rajupaul
@rajupaul (973)
India
August 25, 2009 9:13am CST
Hi loter
It is little different story and feeling. just share your view
I have heard stories of a person with a disability and the spouse leaving after 20 years of marriage. Another example is a person being married for 20 years and the person becomes disabled and the spouse leaves after the disability.Does the spouse have other factors than the disability, maybe, but what a huge coincidence?I have been through two marriages with both ending in a divorce and a custody battle. I have two sons, in which, I never see my first son, because of first wife alternative motives. For example, she told me one day, people in wheelchairs do not live long so you need Social Security, so when you die then your son can have disability off of yours. Wow, talking about putting me in the ground and throwing dirt on my casket! The second wife met an old “friend” off the Internet and took my son out of state and moved in with the guy, which my son had never met before.. So, I ask yourself,why am I writing and sharing this information? The reason is either more people are getting married that is disabled or more people are getting divorced who are disabled. Look closely at that sentence,kind of a catch 22 or Murphy’s Law? ? Either way, society is becoming more aware of people with a disability and divorce. Can a person with a disability survive after a divorce? Of course!
The person with a disability has already survived! The survival started when the person first became disabled and continues throughout his or her life. Survival does not stop after 6 months post injury or 20 years of the disability.
Love conquers all? I believe it depends on how a person defines love.Do you define love with a term of endearment? Do you define love with time, money,walking, or being attractive? Yes, you read that sentence right,I did throw in there in the middle of the sentence, walking!In my opinion, a person cannot define love because love involves too many things and each individual is different. Can a person with a disability find true love? Yes, but look deep inside yourself and define love.. What is it that makes you happy? If you do not love yourself, than how can you love someone else? Going through a divorce or someone leaves,you are going to feel many emotions and feelings.
Raju Paul
1 person likes this
5 responses
@meapas (2436)
• India
25 Aug 09
Who is the central character? yourself or someone else? Any way I really sympathise with the central character here. It is just hard luck. You need to have some luck in getting a loving partner. These are the people helping the devil to make hell on this beautiful earth.
@fish666888 (57)
• China
25 Aug 09
I agree with you,everyone treated the concept of love,not the same!However,there are a variety of love,no just love.I believe that most of the world people are understanding and support for persons with disabilities!Because people deep down are good!so, I think that people with disabilities can have a love!But love is not easily can be found.I think this is not a disability issue, because love itself is hard to find..If a person because of his love of people with disabilities,but left him...I can only say that this is not love..
@maygodblessu44 (7336)
• India
8 Sep 09
Hello my friend rajupaul Ji,
Basically, I am staunch follower of firstly Natural concepts, whereby marriage is entirely different aspect in one's life, then secondally, as per our religion, I am supposed to marry under normal way as per our parent's will and plaesure. Whatever, I listen these days is out-come of these two voilations. In your first case, I doubt if disability was the raeson, else they would not have ever been seperated. After, introduction of 'divorce' society is drifting from its amin cause of marriage. We both have dfference of opinions on many fronts, does not mean we should seperate ourselves, even one becomes handi-cap. I was unable to do any work for almost 6-7 yrs, due to my multi diseases and RA in particular, but my hubby took my care and today, I started doing again. We know taht there is no question of seperation. WE follow our family traditions after natural theory.
May God bless You and have a great time.
@PeacefulWmn9 (10420)
• United States
25 Aug 09
Hello Raju. My heart feels a lot of empathy for you, given what happened in your marriages. My ex-husband, when I became disabled as a young woman, could never ever accept it and became very abusive toward me. I chose to leave him after many, many years of marriage!!
I only wish I had done it years sooner. I discovered through my own experience that a disabled person can survive living alone and without a spouse. I felt freer living alone and fending for myself than I ever had with him. I was slowly dying there, inside and out. But after leaving, I could be my most true self and rebuild my esteem and confidence through faith and effort.
Yes, a disabled person can find love, more than once in fact, and a partner who loves them no matter what the disability is. They see beyond that. They see the whole picture, the heart and soul AND body of the disabled one, not just the limitations. I discovered this AFTER leaving an abusive, selfish person, too.
True love, for me, is when another person's well-being is as important to you as your own. This is how I love, anyway.
And you're right, we must love ourselves first before we can give real love to, and receive it from, another.
My very best wishes to you...love yourself!
Karen
@tintukm (1102)
• India
25 Aug 09
Love always have challenges,and according to me they must be fought off at that stage where the challenge comes and tries to break the unbreakable bond of love.
Incident shows the real feelings one has for a partner,the bearings of one partner must be taken care of always.Feel the love not the bad times.
