What do you do when....

ongtina what would I do? I would be furious and would ask him' why he did that and still has the gall to say oh i love you anyway.'what does he want a harem? no tell him right now that it is either be faithful to me or its the highway.you cannot' be second best in your marriage,he must be tru e or kick him out. all you will do if he is a player and will not quit is to suffer and why you deserve much more thatn that from a husband. Its not loving you if he is unfaithful.its having his 'cake and eating it too.it has to be you or the other person,he cannot have you both.

Okay I'm not sure I'm understanding everything you are saying b ut I will try to answer with what I know about my past relationships when that kind of pact is made. first of all, you need understand that when someone says that they love you, they should love you enough not to want to be with anyone else. I had to deal with that in my last relationship. I was trying to believe that he loved me but he was dating girls on the Internet and then later meeting with them or possibly living with them. He moved in with me and it still continued he just didn't move in with them. i didn't find out about it until he was screaming that day that he was with this person and that person and I was ready for him to leave like 2 months before that. I was trying to make it work but I found out he was lying about being able to keep it up because I saw atleast two pictures of his wing ding on my computer and he wouldn't let me go anywhere without him, but I had to let him go places without me or all hell would break lose. he would say that he needed time away from me. anyways, someone who loves you doesn't want to be any one else. If they still have lust over someone else then that just means that they are not completely in love with you. If he/she was completely in love with you then they would feel that what you have to offer them is enough and they need nothing more and that the love you have to give them is what they need and that they don't need anyone else to love(lust) them. i hope this helps. happy mylotting.

Are you saying that she has cheated on you and admitted it, and tells you that she wants to continue to cheat on you, but that it is OK because she loves you? Or are you saying that she admits that she cheated, but still loves you very much and wants to work things out with you, and will work to earn your trust again, and will never cheat on you again and will do everything she can to prove her loyalty to you in the future? If is the first then I am afraid this person will never be faithful to you and the two of you are too completely different to have a life long relationship. If it is the second one then you can choose to take her at her word and work out what ever problems you have had that may have contributed to the problem, and allow her to try to prove her love and devotion to you. Or you can decide that you can't handle what she did and let her go. It has to be about what you can take.

I feel the same way, I believe that my husband is having an affair. In my situation my husband is telling me it's not true and is withholding emotional attention from me and has been doing so for years. So I'm to the point where I've had enough and now I'm coming up with a plan to leave him. So far things are going good and I should be out soon, we'll see. Maybe you should consider the same thing.

ongtina, the marriage vows include a vow to be true and faithful physically and mentally to the other. I don't know if you believe in God but the bible says that even looking at another woman, or man, is adultery. There are options and help out there for women who need it if you are afraid of being on your own. Another issue when a spouse is cheating is respect. If he really loved you that would include respecting you enough to be intimate with you and only you. and I know you certainly can't respect him if he is cheating! Also, you have to respect yourself enough not to tolerate his unfaithfulness. You, and all women, DESERVE to be loved and respected.