Have You Ever Told A Friend You Don't Want Their Friendship?

I'm blessed with several 'true' friends who have gone through most of the highs and lows of my life with me. Sadly I've lived long enough and moved around enough to know that friendships come and go. I'd say we do all depending on why we want to 'break up'Most of the time, friendships have just drifted because of both peoples changes. I don't avoid people but I don't go out of my way to bump into them if I feel the friendship is over but if someone breaks my trust in a very bad way I tell them they have, upfront.

I think when we were very young and in grade school, we used to always tell someone that we weren't their friend anymore, but then the next day we forget all about it. However, now that I am supposed to be a mature adult , if there is someone I don't care to be around, I just avoid them like the plague. I no longer call them, and don't answer their calls. It's not that their bad people, it's just I have no interest in being in their company. So I back away, and hope they get the hint.

It happened to me once in Junior High. She wasn't what you'd call a close friend, but we were at my locker and my arms were full of books when I sneezed and there was just no way I could get my hands up in time to cover my mouth. The following day she told me her parents wouldn't let her be friends with me because I hadn't covered my mouth. I was very upset at the time because it just didn't make sense to me. To this day, I'm not really sure if that was a real reason or just an excuse.

Hi my dear brother! I have been on both ends of this friendship rollercoaster and they both suck! I had a girlfriend for 45 years you I just couldn't deal with anymore! She was my "best friend"! I had told her over and over that she was a nasty, miserable, selfish, beotch and I had had it with her! She just didn't get so I finally put my foot down about a year and a half ago and broke off out friendship for good! I was her son's Godmother too and her Maid of Honor at her first wedding! It had gotten THAT BAD! It took awhile for her to finally get that I meant it and stop calling me! I also had a friend when I was in junior high and high school that I was really close to! We would have sleepovers and we were really close! When we were in high school she got into the "popular crowd" and left me behind and just stopped taking my calls and ignored me! That really hurt me! To this day I still don't know why she couldn't tell me to my face why she did that to me after us being so close for so many years and then she didn't invite me to her wedding! So, my dear brother it sucks no matter which side you are on! I still feel both relationships unresolved to this day! I know that my "best friend" would love it if I would take her back, but I can't! Too much drama and just not worth it anymore. Sometimes you just have to do things like this for your own preservation! Hugs, Opal, your favorite sister

This is something that I experienced many years back now. I was renting a two bedroom flat with a good friend, at least I thought he was a good friend. Then I found out that he had been stealing money from me and going through my stuff and things well I wasn't having any of that! I told him the friendship was over and that was that. I'm got no time for people in my life that like to take advantage and think that you are an easy touch! It's hard to do this especially when you don't have that many friends! Still, I felt better about doing that, I felt a lot stronger. Now I'm more reserved about who I let into my life. I have no qualms about severing all ties with someone if I find out that they have betrayed me in someway, the main thing is to be honest I guess and follow your instincts, this I did on that fateful day many years back! Andrew

Hello Wolfie. I am loathe to hurt anyone, but if someone does a loved-one or me a grivious wrong, I will absolutely tell that person that their is to be no more contact between us. Usually, though, friendships that aren't truly solid seem to dissolve on their own. Their have been times I've been rejected, and it does hurt, but rather than trying to hang on to a "friend" that doesn't want that, I grieve and then move forward. Very good topic for discussion. Karen

I've only had to do this once and that was with someone who decided she was my friend even though I didn't like her from the first meeting. She was constantly borrowing and asking me and Mr Croc for help. She was bringing up her grandchildren and as they got older they were causing us problems. I just told her I didn't want to be friends with her, she wasn't my type of person. She told me I was a snob and we didn't speak again. It was great because I didn't need to avoid her because she knew I'd had enough.

Its true that friend changes with time during our life time. I also have lost lots of friends and got more new friend than I lost old friends. But I have never been told by anyone that he or she does not want to be a friend of mine any more. I lost some friend because I have to move to different place and to different school at some point of my life. Till now there is no one single bitter experience with any friend. Personally, if I don't like someone also I can't say it face to face. Because I can't hurt somebody like that. But if I don't want to be friend with someone any more than I try to ignore them; can't say it in the face though.

Hello dear wolfie. I have never told a friend that I do not want his or her friendship. If such happens, I think that it must be very upset of the one who tells the other. Or s/he must be very frustrated or angry to say so to the very friend. Well, if I really don't want to maintain friendship with the other, I won't say anything but stay away from him/her gradually. I am sure it can be felt by the other this way without my saying anything. Have a good time, wolfie.

hi wolfie yes just once as I am careful who I become friends with and am very loyal to those friends. this one was using me to get in'good with the branch manager and when I found out I told her up front in in front of the staff that I was not friends with a person whose only reason to act like she liked me was to get in good with the boss. because I had not had much passion involved in this verycasual 'friendship I didnt feel bad at ending it.She never did get the clerk job she wanted so she quit and went else where. she had made me feel like i had been used. myreal friends never made me feel like that. they made me feel liketheir friend.

Hello Wolfie, I agree with everything that you've said here about true friends. Actually there are very few people that I've actually ever told that i didn't want their friendship. But what you mentioned about a true friend will stick by you when the ship is sinking is so true and it really does hit to the heart of matters. We know that not all friendships that are made online are going to last. It's only the true friendships that are going to stand the test of time. So I await to see which friendships will actually last and which ones wont. Again you are right, all of our true friendships we can practically count on one hand. I'm glad that you are a person that put the truth out there for people to read it everywhere. I will be the first to admit that I may not have a whole lot of online friends and my real life friends are few. But if I were to have a real true friend I would hope it would be someone just like you. A real friend will always hold your hand when you're falling and help you to get back up on your feet again.

I don't think i can say that to anybody..that's too harsh. we can always offer our friendship to many.. though we can choose whom we want to be close to. but in as much as i don't like a person, i dont think i can be that rude. i might come close to not being around that person a lot. but that's all. i don't really want saying hurting words to other people.

Yes I have had to do this. I had a true friend once that when things got rough she wouldn't think logically for her kids and family to make things better. There were plenty of things she could have done and I was ready to help her every step of the way. But she wouldn't improve anything. Finally I was so irritated of trying to help and watching her throw her life away that I didn't want any part of it anymore. She did not respect the concern that I had for her and her well-being. It's like watching your friend die and nothing you do can save them.

Not Exactly, But I have told one of my friends I didn't want to go out with her. Sorry if this is too off subject, but I'm going to rant a little bit. Ok, so i met this girl on the cruise and she was nice and all but i always felt like she wanted to control me. On the cruise we were just friends and all, nothing more. So the cruise flies by, and 2 weeks after that vacation I get a message from her on FB. Basically, without going into many details, she said that she was in love with me in every way. I never felt the same way about her and I declined. Two months later i get another text from her asking for my advice about a relationship which was apparently referring to me, she asked what she should do about this guy she likes who doesn't like her back. I told her to give up on him. She then goes on to tell me that "the guy" was me. Oh, but she did not only tell me that. She then started sending me text after text telling me how much "she wanted me" and how she would do anything to go out with me. Once again I declined. This girl lives halfway across the country. I've decided we can still be friends but I'm not sure that was the right choice or not. What do you think?

Sad to say that I don't really have friends who are there for me through anything and everything. I though on the other hand try to be there for others when I can even if it is just on the phone, email or whatever but I have just about given up on those people also. I have known someone for 20something years and she has shut me out of her life before and we finally got back to talking, rather emailing since I don't have her phone number since she has moved several times. The last time she has shut off the friendship was just recently after I give her my thoughts about something she is doing in her life that I think she needs to step back and take a deep breath and not jump into something she might regret later on. I guess she took offense and haven't heard from her since. I am thinking I have just about give up on having friends other than my family, I mean personal friends. I do have a lot of friends on here but it is different.

I had 2 friends that showed their true face after years of friendship. I didn't tell them up front, i just pretended they don't exist anymore. If they can't be good friends to me, then i don't want to even waste the time to explaine to them why i don't want their friendship. If they are smart enough, they will figure it out themselves, if they are not smurt enough, one more reason to stay away from them.

Yes i remember i had told one of my friends this thing, i know how rude and harsh it is to tell someone that you really dont need them as your friend.But trust me i did not say this purpoesly, reason was she kept on irritating me the time she use to be with me, she left me unbearble.She just ruled over me which i never liked and at last i had to tell her that she can spare me off.i did not need her.

most of the time, we are too pregnant,so when i think some people no longer suitable for a friend,i will avoid to touch with it,and it will realize your meanings,do you think so? if we say it out,i think this will hurt the people.

Hello wolfie34, Mixed feelings with a few of my friendships. Things have changed in my friendships like a bolt of lightning so it´s been a bit hard to take in. Friendships I thought were genuine a few of them were not. Friendships that I had considered to be forever have not been forever but no matter. My friendship still prevails even if theirs for me does not. Friends I will help if I can but no more than that. These are the kind of friendships that have drifted apart from me because they want it that way and now I don´t really mind at all. Friendships I have found with other People who I did´nt think wanted to be friends and so on. School Friends have rallied round too in a good way. Fair weather friendships have had plenty of those and I still remember them too. Childhood friendships can perhaps hurt the most when they change radically.

I will not tell them don't to be friends face to face.