Missing my life before having kids....

Oh i know the feeling. I just had a little one six months ago and everything has changed. Mind you i waited till i was nearly 40 to have mine and this is even worse for me because i have zero energy. I wish i had had him sooner because my frinds who had kids at 20 are enjoying more mature conversation and they have resumed that life that you speak of... You know the lie ins, eating out, Movies, fishing etc. If you are my age, i guess you don't have much enjoyment to look forward to when they are all grown up. Anyway good luck to us!

maybe you're not noticing, like, don't you create a new atmosphere like "omg, when i got my childs, my life won't be so" or whatever make you fell less when you got your childs ? another thing i mean is, ENJOY THAT! enjOY! baby, your childs will grow up a day and will go away, give thanks for them, be happy!

trgg

Once you've got a child your life totaolly change . I mean we just cann't go back to the life in the past without kids around . I've got a baby early this year . I'm just feeling extremely same as you . We won't eat out and buy luxuries for ourselves. All we are thinking about is the little baby . We will care whether he is sleeping well or whether he eats well. Everything about him will be the main focus . Well i've already accepted this life style . My boy is very cute and i think all are well worthy.

hello 3snuggle.. the odd thingg is.. my life was no different before and after i had a child... my parents were strict and we were not allowed to go out... i can't come to parties... i never had a social life when i was a teen-ager... then when my parents split.. i had a boyfriend for the first time in my life... and we had a baby (i was very young then...17 years old) and my boyfriend and I split... i raised my son alone.. provided for him... took care of him... until now . my son is 14 years old... and I never go out coz I always work work work... stil no social life.. I do not see any difference before and after i had a child. this is the kind of life i have been used to..so there is nothing to campare to...

This is something that really burdens me.... My husband and I want to have kids and are hoping to within the next year or two but I don't want to lose my now so-fabulous life. I mean I love spending time with him and being able to go on trips and stuff. Our little Maltese dog alone often limits us on some things so I know have kids would be like 10 times worse. Sometimes I don't know if it's worth giving it all up..... I really have to think hard about this.

Well, but you will hopefully have at least one child that will be responsible when you grow old. I don't have any children to help me change light bulbs or get up on ladders like my mom did. Sure, you sacrifice now, but you are doing your part to raise happy, healthy kids. Some people find that admirable. I chose to not have children, I don't care for them, and elected to avoid those situations that would've lead to having them (abstinence works every time its practiced) but now I'm approaching 60 and have no kids to stand on ladders like my mom did.

It's natural to miss things like that. Couldn't your MIL babysit while you two get away for an afternoon or even a weekend? It would do you so much good! Remember that the couple next door, if they remain childless, won't have the joy of grandchildren or seeing their daughter in her first prom dress. There will be no loving children around their deathbeds nor anyone to put flowers on their graves or remember them when they are gone. You are right to worry about your children! You're a good mother. Just remember that the years will pass too quickly and it'll seem no time at all till you two are fishing with your children grown and gone. Treasure what you had before but be sure to appreciate the blessings you have now.

I've been a mom since I was 17, so hubby and I never had those little luxuries, but I do know what you mean. Most of the time I just miss the freedom I had when I was living with mom and only had the 1 child. Mom would babysit so I could work, I had loads of friends. Oddly I seemed to have the type of friends that also had children, or at least didn't mind hanging out with my kid. Then I got married and those friends fell to the wayside, then I had more kids and just got to a point I couldn't keep up with it all. We had no car for about 5 years, that doesn't help. So I miss the freedom and the social life. Not really the money, cuz I've never had money.

Enjoy your life for what it is now. Children are a blessing. They are our future. They will be picking our nursing homes later. Lol! You and your husband need to train the kids to listen. So you wont be so scared to have the children around water. Or teach them to swim. Get aways (from the kids) can be easy enough to arrange. Get a grandma or a friend to let them spent the nite. I know im happy enough with fore notice to let my grandkids come spent the nite so mom and dad can have alone time. As long as they dont forget where they left them. Lol!

Yes your life changes a whole lot when you decide to have children. Camping and fishing was something that my husband and i also enjoyed doing. We have 8 children and that was one of the things that we did as a family all the time. One of my sons was only 3 weeks old the first time he went camping with us. and by the time my children started school they knew how to fish, and start a camp fire, and many other camping skills. we often camped by a river, or stream and they were taught the dangers right off, and we never had a problem. They were also taught about all the other dangers of being in the woods.and what to do if they ever got lost, and what plants in the area that were not good for them. Camping was one of the things my children have great memories of when they were children and they still do it now with their own children. I can tell you something else when your kids grow up and leave to make their own lives will be much much more harder to handle than what you are feeling now about having time to your selves. So enjoy the time you have with them now because those are the things that you are going to miss the most. I enjoy doing things with just me and my husband now, but i would not give up one second of all the times that the kids came along with us.

yes dear i can understand u , even i feel so , no doubt kids bring happiness in our life , but also some restrictions , i was miss my that restriction free life .

I know the feeling, you cant just hop into the car and go away for the weekend, or do any spur of the moment things ever again where children are involved. Its not that i dont love my daughter but sometimes there are just things that you miss doing, like going out for dinner and a few drinks, without having to worry about babysitters and stuff. 18 more years to go

I plan to have a baby recently,what you said is also my worries. refering to this problem,i talked with my husband,he said that 'you think too much ' ,but i am worry about it now. 2 persons' world is my dream, but giving a birth is the responsibility of women. if one ask me not to give a birth to .i guess i will cry. the two sides of one thing is so inconsidtent. let us try to accept it!

You know I totally understand where you are coming from even if our situation is different then yours. My husband and I started early having kids, we had 7, (yes 7, and yes we knew what caused it for those that are wondering.. lol) Anyways we had our youngest in 1995. So when he turned 12 we thought we could start having what we refer to as " somewhat of a life outside of kids to a point". Well in 1996 (long story) we had to decide if we wanted to take our granddaughter in and get guardianship or risk losing her. She had lived with us from birth with her mother. However, she didnt want to grow up and take care of our granddaughter and did a few stupid things which lead us to this point. We loved her and so we stepped in and she is now in our family permanently and we are raising her. So I am a 44 year old mom of 8 with a 2 year old. I have realized how much harder it is on older woman. Sorry to all the ones that think it is better to wait. I know from experience both situations and it was so much easier when I was younger. Anyways I just wanted to let you know that you arent alone, and I understand. Of course, like you WE LOVE HER with our whole hearts and we do everything that we did with our other children but it is harder.

haha..that's really the best rememberance if you recall the old days before you have child. my sister changed herself everything and all the things she do are just for her son and then herself. but before that she was a self-concertrated person and no one can take her notice more than herself.

I exactly feel the same way as u. Now i have my son, he took over everything in my life for four years. Hard to do things if his around and i cant do anything until he grows up. But when i think about it...we had our fun. Now its the real thing. Being a mother and wife is never an easy job. Our life is not all about having fun, we are now talking about our future as we getting older...not only our future but most of all its the future for our kids. But u know what..im looking forward now of getting old and thinking of having grandson/ grandaughter maybe...hehehehehhehe its gonna be more exciting and thats gonna be the last chapter of our life...to have a happy ending story.

If you're raising intelligent children and you calmly explain the consequences of something like playing in fast moving water and tell them the best way to handle it if they do fall in (and perhaps before you go fishing with them, teach them to swim if you're worried), then you shouldn't have to worry too much. Honestly, it really is ridiculous how paranoid parents are nowadays. Seven years old is plenty old enough to understand "If you fall in that water, you might drown. If you don't want to drown, do what I tell you." My parents took me and my younger sisters camping along a stream that had some deep, slow moving areas and some shallower, fast moving spots when we were as young as 3 years old. As long as you prepare them and don't completely ignore them when they're playing near the water, you really should be able to go do something you enjoy without being paranoid.

I know exactly how you feel! My husband and I are expecting our 4th child and our oldest is only going on 8! I love my children and I am a wonderful mother, I can say that with full confidence! However, every aspect of my life is ruled now by children, we never have extra money to do things, when we need to get bread, its an argument(not really) as to whos going and whos taking which kid, then you still have to dress them and pack them in the car which is 32 stairs away!! I have no freedom, I literally "hold it" for upwards of an hour when I awake in the morning because I jump to an alarm clock, or a baby, mostly the baby, after attending to him, waking my daughter for school, helping her with her issues, I actually have been up dancing around for about an hour before I get to "go"! I do miss the simpler times, the freedom of running out the door in a hurry, never having to find a sitter, spending my money on me(which I never do anymore), the lack of bills, the stupid worries(like everytime you sit in a car, what could happen?!)! But I love my children, and the way I have learned to deal is to tell myself this is a chapter in the book that is my life and that I have many years to enjoy myself and husband, now is my time for them. It helps, but when we are older, we will miss them and feel lonely so we will probably never truelly have ourselves back! Children are a life change, not a lifeSTYLE change. Im forever in debt to the loves of my life for everything they do for me every day, including making me wait!

Kids are the beauties in life! You gotta have us in order to have love and a good life! We make things fun! it may be stressful at times, but stay cool!